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As you may have noticed, "Your Locals..." has taken a break for a few weeks, a result of our locals being picked off of "Top Chef" one by one, as well as a growing sense of disgust with this season in general. Our disgust wasn't tempered with last week's episode, when Dale was kicked off, and Lisa--LISA!--was kept on, AGAIN. (The week before, Lisa, Miss "I HATE POLISH SAUSAGE!" called out Andrew for not following the rules of the challenge. He was eliminated.)
Now, Dale was a pain in the ass, that's for sure, but he seemed to have a hell of a lot more talent than Lisa, and if he hadn't assumed the head chef role in Restaurant Wars, we're pretty sure he would have been kept around for another week. So, why are we even bringing the show up again? Well, because Jenn was brought back to help the team in the challenge. And was given about 30 seconds of screen time. Our locals, pushed out of the spotlight once again!
In other reality TV locals news, there's a local bachelor vying for the affection of "The Bachelorette" this season, and what do you know, he's a chef! Robert Fair, who is 28 and wore a cream colored suit for his introduction to DeAnna, also attempted to teach her salsa dancing in the two minutes they had during their initial greeting. It didn't go too well. (But that's not the worst of his offenses. Check out his Web site!)
In an attempt to prove that yes, he can cook, he actually spent time in the kitchen during the getting-to-know-you cocktail party and whipped up some kind of dungeness crab dip in a martini glass for the Bachelorette. Luckily, she wasn't allergic to shellfish and seemed to enjoy it. It proved fodder for the other bachelors, however, as they were then able to call him the guy who gave DeAnna crabs. Whatever. At least he wasn't the guy who gave her a pearl necklace.
The food must have worked its magic, though, as Robert was given a rose boutonniere and will be back--tonight! Which means "Your Locals on Reality TV" will be back--next week!
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Kristi Yamaguchi won Dancing With The Stars. Hayward is fucking Titletown, y'all.