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Our sister site, DCist, brought to our attention the nationwide USASexGuide's massage parlor online guide, which allows men to freely discuss their experiences at local massage parlors while giving helpful reviews. Much to our delight, there's a San Francisco thread, which is a must-read. (To check out DCist's breakdown of all the joyous happy endings, go here.)
To visit SF reviews of local massage parlors, follow the link. It is, we should point out, NSFW. Any other
The site is free to the public and doesn't require any cumbersome registration. Much of the lingo, though, might be foreign to many readers, so here's a nifty glossary of terms that they provide. Many of the reviews offer straightforward information on services, recent raids, price jacking, locations, prostitutes' aesthetics, and more--a helpful and honest online venue where can talk about sex. You'll find this more helpful for straight men than, with all due respect, the Center for Sex & Culture or a lecture series from postmodern sex workers who haven't seen a drop of semen or felt penile insertion from a "John" in eons.
A few choice reviews:
-- Thats correct. I carried in that amount, she asked for more 1. 6, but I told her that was all that I had. Which was the truth. She said ok fine. Gave me a nice hug and I left. Go and have fun and don't forget to report your experience. Be safe and treat my girls good. LOL-- She proceeds to give me a BBBJ, then she says oopps I forgot something. She slowly licks me from my crotch to my lips which I turned away. Yohimbebrother does not do the kissing thing. She reaches over and grabs the cop o hot tea and takes a healthy swallow and dives back down and engulfs me. What a feeling that was to feel her mouth and the hot tea. WOW ... damages was .60 at the door and then .80 for tip for such a great job.
-- Michelle was busy so I ended-up with Monique instead. I would rate her a 5 for looks and an 8 for service. My scale is perhaps a bit snobby because I have enjoyed the fine women in Colombia, Venezuela, and Panama in the recent past.
-- She was very sweet and actually had a very nice rack for an asian. Got the tea treatment and BBBJ. She then very enthusiastically asked for some DATY which I happily obliged. I combined this with some FIV and as far as I could tell she came. Even if she didn't, she did get REALLY dripping wet. She then finished me with CG.
-- Not so good. End up wasting 170 on a very bad massage and couple positions on extremely loose you know what. Stay away!
-- Dropped in a few Sundays ago: very pretty girl met me in short flimsy dress and took me to room."$60 for 1 hour" - ok. When she came back, says $70 for one hour; me in just a towel- first hint of hassle! I insisted paying only $60- she accepts and I figure she'll cut the time. She did. Massage so-so; enjoyable teasing of my ass and sack. On the flip- she asks " you treat me good?" After a lot of haggling we settle on standard NYC rate of $30 for happy ending. Overall- too much haggling, starting at the rate change when I'd changed. Maybe much more on offer, but I won't be going back.
Image credit: Angry White Boy
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Wow! Can someone please define for me the two extra B's at the beginning of the acronym BBBJ?
"bare back blow job"
Disgusting, unnecessary, vulgar, pick your own adjective for this post. And just when you were beginning to find legitimate sponsors for the site. Ech! What would Toyota do?
male sexuality is neither vulgar nor unnecessary.
haha! How about L.A? Does anyone know of any in Los Angeles?!
Brock: I Wasn't referring to "male sexuality," but to your potty mouth. Pathetic waste of talent. Bye.
I'm thinking atthebeach got a less than rave review. Shame.
tea treatment = good tip!
Whoa. The glossary is . . . thorough.
what would happen if a lesbian went into one of these places? would she be turned away. i'm, uh, asking for a friend.
seriously though, i'm just curious...
@ Brock
Please continue pathetically wasting your talent on sex trade-themed posts! Jesus, look at the hit count!
Also, I suspected BB might mean "Bare Back"... it's just as far as I know, the "back" is not routinely involved with a blow job. I guess my connotations with barebacking involve, you know, one's back. Duly noted and corrected.
@hillarys_quivering_lip, your comment has made my day!
It's always educational around here!
BBBJ, okay, that's understood now. What about DATY? Will someone please guide me through this strange twilight world of the heterosexual?
Brock posted the glossary of terms. DATY is clearly listed as "Dining at the Y (Performing oral sex on a woman)"
male sexuality is neither vulgar nor unnecessary.
I would argue that male sexuality often can be vulgar (i.e. explicit, coarse) but that there's nothing inherently wrong with that. I think Brock is making is a broader point by affirming male sexuality, to which I say, amen. The sheer tonnage of wisdom gay men have to offer straight men about their own nature could stop a train.
I have an image of burly, sexually-wise, strapping gay men stopping a train packed with three-piece-suit-wearing, catholic school graduating, sexual-neophyte men. The burly gay men have a power-point presentation at the ready as the train's passengers begin to exit. I will now paint this image and compose an Aria in its honor. Then I'll probably go looking for a lap-dance.
Thanks for the hot tea tip. I predict a lot of pleasantly surprised men in the bay area.
Putting a little lube in your mouth just before fellating a guy also does wonders.
News you can use!
I thought that a happy ending was just a hand job... I had NO IDEA they did all of this...
Boy, do I feel naive.
LOL at the people who are saying thanks for the "tip" on hot tea treatment. C'mon, y'all didn't know about that, and the cold drink treatment and the mint/cinnamon candy fun?
However, it would also be irresponsible not to mention that many of these "massage" parlors are exploiting women (oftentimes from Asia, South America and Eastern Europe). These are not women who are working at these places of their own free will, they are there as sex slaves.
So while the review site may provide some giggles, it's not fun and games for everyone.
So I guess finger banging is out of the question?
Truly disgusting.
A new mind association: Brock ~ AMP.
I'm so glad we are reading this instead of the old SFist's up-to-the-minute SF political sharktank coverage!
/sarcasm.
But seriously, bring back the political coverage! If I wanted to read about skanky places to get BJ's I'd be reading the back of the Guardian.
"/sarcasm."
hilarious.
don't worry, we'll have something up to appease the elite. maybe.
It's interesting how the internet is moving prostitution off the streets and behind closed doors. There are a number of great sites other than USA Sex Guide that allow prostitutes to market their services by receiving good reviews from clients. My personal favorite is NaughtyReviews.com Surf around that site a bit and if you are uninitiated, you will see that there is a whole sub-culture that you probably didn't realize even existed.
MPR has not only saved me time and money with 99% success rate, it also has given me hours of entertainment and intel!" Massage Parlor and Escort Reviews http://www.mpreviews.com
"Intel," I love it.
I know I wanna feel like I'm a CIA agent on a secret mission on the ground in a foreign land as I seek a beej from a recent immigrant in the Tenderloin.