SFist Watches: Your Locals On Reality TV, Pt. 1

firewalk.jpgThis week's Reality TV Locals round-up will be presented in two parts for your reading enjoyment. First up is "ANTM."

Previously on "America's Next Top Model," local hopeful Marvita got a horse 'do.

The Tyra scrawl crawl told the girls to "turn up the heat or they'll get hosed." So they went to a firehouse where Miss J. told them to get dressed quick like bunnies into sexy firefighter outfits so some sexy firefighters could judge their walks. WHAT?! Marvita has issues with not moving her arms, kinda like the character Molly Shannon played on "Seinfeld." Fatima's walk was atrocious. And Amis skipped. NO idea why any of that had to happen in a firehouse.

Back at the house Marvita got mad at Amy because Amy doesn't like showering in front of other people, and thus prefers her bathroom time to be alone time. And somehow this led to Fatima yelling at Whitney. THESE WOMEN MAKE NO SENSE.

Jaslene showed up for the challenge, except she was so skinny that when she turned sideways she disappeared. HA HA HA HA...ergh. Anyway, not sure why she was there, but the challenge had the models changing rapid fire for a runway show. Ah, the fire theme rears its head once again. And then most of the girls charged down the runway like their heads were on fire. (See what we did there!?) The winner was Katarzyna. (Did we actually just spell that right?)

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Photoshoot, omigod, the photoshoot. It took place in the meat packing district. It was in a meat locker. It involved meat. It involved wearing meat. It was the most ridiculous thing we've ever seen, and we're pretty sure the whole shoot has a direct connection to the recent beef recall...Bur Marvita held up a huge meaty bone (DIRTY!) and seemed to rock it.

Panel! Paulina and Tyra tried to pass off the whole meat photo shoot as being symbolic of the modeling industry itself, but whatever. Tyra just loves anything involving ribs. Everyone knows that. Anyway, Marvita's photo didn't look too great, which was weird because the video of her shoot looked pretty good. It's like they purposely picked the most boring photo from her series. No matter, because she is still in the running towards becoming America's Next Top Model...and then the TiVo betrayed us by cutting off the elimination, but we read it was Amis, which comes as no surprise since she wore a headband around her forehead in front of the judging panel, amongst other apparent crimes against modeling.

Check back later today for our "Top Chef" coverage!

All images from the CW.

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Comments (4) [rss]

Are we gonna be tracking this for Dancing With The Stars? Kristi Yamaguchi's from Hayward, and Cheryl Burke went to Menlo-Atherton. However, I'll be rooting for the deaf chick.

This has to be the worst bunch of girls on ANTM. The past few seasons were pretty amaturish, but this season is just plain bad. These girls are ugly and have no idea what they are doing. Fierce fugliness all around, Tyra.

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The fact is, ANTM does not make you a top model if you win. Adrianne Curry won in the first season, but there was no modeling career for her, just a TV reality program.

And... modeling wearing meat? Just how f***ing low do you have to go? Even the make-up and hair jobs they do is just damn ugly. Like I'd wear that in public.

Agreed. Lamest set of girls yet... plus a $500 mullet. Bad move Tyra.

That said, I'll be watching religiously.

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