November 5, 2007
Breaking News: Record-Low Voter Turnout Expected
Okay, like, people thousands and thousands of years ago, or whatever, totally died in wars and stuff so you all could have the chance to rock the vote. And like, you know, now none of you can even take a few minutes out of your busy lives, because you're all busy drinking your soy lattes, driving your Hummer Mercedes coupes, and stuff like that. And women and black people or whatever just got the chance to vote in the 1980s, okay. You're all American citizens and should so know better,you know. Way better. If you don't vote tomorrow you deserved to be totally shot to death. For reals, you guys.
Anyway, the real story here is that it's an uninteresting race, sure; but that that shouldn't matter. With Gavin Newsom running unopposed in the minds of many a San Franciscan, the city sheriff having no serious challengers, and the district attorney running unopposed, we can see why. And according to Alex Clemens in today's Examiner (AP), "[w[]"ithout a good fight at hand, a lot of people are worried that many San Franciscans will opt out of the process and just go to work instead." (That what they want you to believe, man! Wheels within wheels.)
And although we've bitched about this overall lackluster race -- like many other print publications and other blogs already have -- if we remember our '70s film lexicon correctly, elections and politics shouldn't be ripe with entertainment value. Isn't something supposed to be wrong if you are that interested? (The same can be said for political satire.) That's why we have Hollywood -- beautiful, caring Hollywood.
Happy election eve, folks. Check back here tonight for a smattering of Oscar election picks, and any reported shirtless-Quintin or moustache-free Chicken John sightings.
|
Suck it Chris Daly.
I will be voting tomorrow for one reason!
David Wong for Sheriff!
I can understand that the media and blogosphere wish the SF race were a real story, but at some point their fantasy (Newsom is challenged or even defeated by a surprise grassroots-inspired swell for Quintin or Chicken John) has to give way to reality (Newsom quietly wins in a landslide).
Easy solution-
switch to permanent absentee and vote by mail forever after from the privacy of your own bedroom.
You can vote weeks early, empowering you to tear up all the junkmail that pours in just before election day. Put it in the blue recycle bin of course.
SF even pays the postage for you to return the ballot.
So sit back with an adult beverage, a pencil, and help change the course of the future of humankind.
i will be voting for everything chris daly opposes
Incumbents love the lack of participation - it helps their fortunes grow Quickly (couldn't resist).
Feel free to skip voting for any of the individuals ... and most of the propositions if you could care less about them, but for heaven's sake get your ass to a polling place and Vote No on H.
Thanks.
and no on A, the aaron peskin whore of the day proposal
i loved the denial he made about knowing that he'd be getting 20k for his campaign as soon as he finished drafting the muni ad proposal
I love the absentee voting. It lets me research the issues ahead of time.
The only people I know who are bothering to vote (grr) are doing so only to vote against Newsom and Prop H.
I totally rode in the same BART car as Gavin today, who very much appeared to be on his way to go vote for himself, all while sitting in a seat reserved for handicapped people and being surrounded by photographers (His own of course. Everyone else was too busy being on their way to work worrying about not voting). I hadn't seen one of these displays in real life up until today and it seemed abnormal how much he was smiling. But it makes sense with all those cameras following you--god forbid one shot comes out where you're not hoisting up that shit-eating grin. He asked several people if they vote...Little late buddy! Either way, fascinating first time/first hand look at this display on a coincidental day.
I swear I saw a glow.