Sorry to spread the bad news, Giants fans, but last night's 9-4 loss to the Diamondbacks mathematically eliminated them from the playoffs. We know, we know, wha? Well, statistically, the Giants could still have made the playoffs if they won every game up until the end of the season and the Padres, DBacks, Dodgers, and Rockies all came down with the Ebola Virus. Hey, it happens sometimes, sort of. In the Premiere League, Tottenham once got eliminated from qualifying for the Champions League when several key members of the team came down with a mysterious case of food poisoning.

So what's left in the season? Well, you know how people have been saying all season how much they'd like to see the kids play? The kids are playing-- those few times in which we checked out a game, we kept on wondering who the hell are the people on the field and what have they done to Ryan Klesko? In fact, the Barry, who's become kind of irrelevant to everything since he broke the record, isn't even playing much. It's like when the ratings were down on "The Facts of Life" and so the producers brought in some new students to highlight and made the regular crew more like supporting players than anything else. Didn't they open up a bakery or something? And didn’t Natalie lose her virginity to George Clooney? Man, that was a long time ago.

There will be a lot of post-mortems for the season sure to come, but we'll get things started. Lessons to be learned after the jump

-Sometimes old, veteran players play like old, veteran players
-Matt Cain did something really awful in a past life, like kick a bunch of puppies or something
-The Pirates are run by some really dumb people
-And here's a subset to the previous lesson: Rajai Davis Rules.
-You live by a 43-year old player with bad knees and you die with a 43 year old player with bad knees
-Lou Seal all decked out in orange is kind of ugly
-Giving a lot of money to a known head case with questionable stuff just might not be the brightest idea in the world.
-If you're the start of some sort of Disney-related musical franchise, having pictures of you naked might not be such a hot idea.
-Armando Benitez needs some sort of mind fullness techniques to deal with stress
-Just because Bruce Bochy has a big head, that doesn't make him super smarter than anyone else
-The All-Star Game was kind of fun, wasn't it?
-HBO's "Tell Me You Love Me" is kind like a cross between "Thirtysomething" and Skinemax but more boring.