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Photo du Jour 163

SFist James caught a crack smoking couple over on Stevenson Street (near Market) this morning. Aw.

A Breakup Letter to SF Cabbies & Cab Companies

Dear SF Cabs:

We hate you. But, like, we hate-hate you. We hate you to death. For reals. Why? Because in addition to never having change for a $20, charging too much for a ride from Van Ness and Market to Third and Market, childishly going on strike whenever the city dares to bring in more, much-needed cabs, and for this, you now want to "charge a $1 per passenger fee to offset rising fuel costs." We already have the nation's "second-highest 'flag drop' rate" ($3.10) as it is. So, why would you do this to us, you greedy, selfish, impromptu sociopolitical conversing, chatty bastards?

And, like, do you even want to be in this relationship?

Please drop dead.

Love,
the San Francisco Bay Area

Golden Gate Bridge Suicide Barrier to Cost $50M

Leapin' lizards! Estimations for the suicide barrier on the Golden Gate Bridge, which initially ran anywhere from $15 million to $25 million, would now cost around $50 million, at least according to environmental assessment released Monday by the Golden Gate Bridge District. The pimped out bridge might include the following: An 8-foot vertical fencing system to the existing 4-foot-tall hand railt; an 8-foot-tall horizontal fencing system to the 4-foot-tall hand rail with a "winglet" or panel on top; replacing the 4-foot-tall hand rail with a 12-foot-tall vertical fence; replacing the 4-foot-tall handrail with a 10-foot-tall horizontal fence with a winglet on top, for a total height of 10 feet; and installing a horizontal net system 20 feet below the sidewalk that extends 20 feet from the bridge. (But can't the distraught just jump over the netting after the first plunge?) The bridge sees an average of two suicides per month.

Homophobia, C'est Chic?

Former Salon editor/scribe, Grotto sect member, and novelist Chris Colin penned this article for the Chronicle about some mysterious bar in San Francisco that may or may not have acted in a homophobic manner toward his buddy, "Ryan." It seems some dickslice bouncer at an unnamed bar said to "Ryan" as he was trying to entering the watering hole, "Dude, look at your pants. Look at your bag...obviously this is not your kind of place." Here's part of what went down:

"Dude, look at your pants. Look at your bag," one of them said. "Obviously this is not your kind of place."
Ryan's pants, since the guy mentioned them, were a skin-tight pinstripe number. His bag was a purse. Ryan, who is gay, told me later he was dressed "totally faggy."

Which brings me to the point of this column: "This is not your kind of place." Was that a homophobic comment? Or was it just random fashion critique -- obnoxious, sure, but reasonably fair game at an occasionally gruff drinking establishment? Given that haziness, how does a well-meaning business handle a situation like this, once alerted?

Not since the early 1990s has being gay been cool, so Colin seems oddly shocked that a presumably hip place full of Obama supporters and PBR drinkers would be homophobic. Or, as Colin puts it, full of "nicotine-y coarseness to throw you back on your heels."

He then asks the reader, "as a society, how do we disentangle generic rudeness from bigotry?" Hmm, there's too much overlap there to do so. What we think he means to ask is should a bar be allowed to kick out fags if their clientele is full of white kids trying to get their Ernest Hemingway on?

Also, we want to know ~~whether or not this is the vile Zeitgeist~~ what bar Colin is talking about? Take a guess in the comments.

KTVU's Tips for Staying Cool

Please do not bathe your kids in alcohol, folks.

Piling on Yelp

(By Eyleen Tavy)

Yikes! It wasn't enough that certain Yelpers lost their collective shit that local user-review site Yelp's bounced a bunch of users who were basically trading positive reviews, but now we have local waiter Michael Procopio (or is this a Sasha Baron Cohen piece, we just don't get? We ask because, look at his picture: Hello, Bruno!) announcing that "many opinions expressed on sites like Yelp are neither well-informed nor, as is more often the case, well-written."

Well. Alert the fucking media.

We'll admit it: If this were just some guy with a personal blog who wanted to criticize what he calls one of the "most irritating sites on the internet," we probably would have scrolled past his headline in our RSS. But since we first came across this post not on his site, but on his "weekly food column for Bay Area Bites", we want to take it as deadly seriously as we would take anything coming from the folks who bring us public television. And, really, who doesn't love reading a critique of "average person" (his words, not ours!) content on a site populated with "average person" content?

But the opinions we want are from the decidedly anything but average: SFist readers. Procopio certainly seems to be saying he's ditching Yelp due to its critical mass of illiteracy, while others are bailing to protest their inability to shill. Is your inclination to Yelp more, less, or the same? Does the fact that some reviews, ahem, don't completely adhere to MLA style have you in as much a tizzy as our blogging waiter? Yelp away in the comments.

Day Around the Bay

Beth Spotswood manages not to get thrown on pinball table, raped. Alas. [Spots]
YouTube, Viacom, and you. [SFBG]
Hans Reiser leads police to wife's body. Finally. [SFGate]
In-depth interview with SF's "no sex" nutjar, Owen Dias. [SFWeekly]
Gavin Newsom drops plan for seismic safety. [Curbed]
Identical twins: no longer just fodder for sexual fantasies. [Laughing Squid]
Oh, and happy belated birthday, God of Biscuits! [GOB]

Judicial Smackdown: Kopp Hates Harris

Just when we thought that the Violet Blue vs. Boing Boing altercation was the only good fight going, a tipster reports that in month's issue of California Lawyer, the following rant was in letters to the editor:

I am accustomed to your glib political correctness, but you merit condemnation for your reprehensible selection of Kamala Harris for your Attorney of the Year award. She's a prosecutorial joke, a pandering foe of strong pursuit of persons arrested by the police department, and a faddish officeholder who uses the position for the toothless, "feel-good" pap described for the so-called award.
Judge Quentin Kopp, San Mateo

Mmm, faddishly delicious.

Comment of the Week: Ode to Kamala Harris

Yes, it's back. While it's hard to pick just one since so many of you have been extraordinarily stellar in the comments section, we starting selecting one comment per week that jumps out at us, brilliantly so. Last week's was brought to you by SFist reader jnice, who made a remarkable case for la Kamala, one that had us re-thinking the diva-y SF DA who took a verbal swipe from Quentin Kopp.

jnice said:

It's telling that the commenters that think KH is bad (and I haven't the slightest idea if she is or not) are all about grading a DA for their conviction rate. Presumably they think 100% is ideal - and therefore that no one innocent is ever accused of a crime - or if they are, it's worth a few innocent lives to make sure ALL the guilty are put away.
People like this can only imagine "what if I am the victim of a violent crime? What then?"

They cannot imagine "what if I am falsely accused of a crime? or battered or needlessly shot by the cops? or locked up for 5 years for a non-violent drug offense and turned into a career criminal?" but these things happen in big American cities too - just not always to the same people.The idea of electing a DA for what they DON'T do is crazy only for people who assume that the criminal justice system is always on the side of real justice. The average San Franciscan is not so sure.

Everyone has to assess and manage the risk that something will go tragically wrong in their lives. Not everyone has to go about it the same way.

So, choose your words carefully, readers -- but not THAT carefully; we do cherish some of your late night drunken rants that you then beg us to remove the morning after -- so that they can make it as Comment of the Week, brought to you each and every Monday afternoon!

On the Wrong Side of the Law

We're not sure if you've noticed, but as of yesterday, the new cell phone law has gone into effect. That's right: no more talky while driving, unless you've got a hands-free device for your phone. Yesterday, while we were out, law breakers were being pulled over left and right. It's a great way for the CHP to fill up those ticket quotas.

Sure, the law makes car driving "safer" but, really? Driving's boring now. No more overexaggerated swerving to avoid bicyclists, or self-righteous cell phone users thinking it's everyone else that's driving incorrectly. Now we're ushering in a new era of bluetooth sets as decorative ear pieces, worn in the car, at dinner, and in meetings. Fun. (Or maybe we're already there? That pic's awesome, btw.)

As for us, our cell phone's so old, it's giving Zack Morris' cell phone a run for its money. We're not buying a hands-free device for this thing; we'll call you when we're done driving.

Pic by Flickr/Cheesebikini.

Animal Rights Protesters Taunt UC-Berkeley Scientists

Ah, finally a few UC Berkeley protesters who aren't selfishly and clinically insane. A few angry lads we could get behind. (That is, if we didn't love the taste and texture of a rare-, medium rare-cooked red meats. Oh! And we're all set to make our very first batch of steak tartate. Is this good? Should be bother making it? WWJWD: What would Joanne Weir do?) Around nine pro-life protesters "in the hills above the University of California's Berkeley campus," according to CBS 5, have staged a demonstration against a toxicology professor. Sporting those inane scarves, they've vandalized one professor's doorstep by writing "killer" in chalk, "hurled insults through a bullhorn and announced, 'Your neighbor kills animals!,'" and broke a few windows for good measure.

Which brings us to this: why is there no noted relationship between anti-abortion activists and animal rights activists? Seems like there should be a greater overlap between the two, yes? No? Please advise.

What's Going On Here, Translink?

Photo by AgentAkit/Flicrk

Rumor has it that TrankLink will be set to go in a few days on July 15. Do you believe?

Your Barry Zito Update: The Situation Is Not Improving

Felt it was our duty to give you a quick update on the struggles of the San Francisco Giants' starting pitcher Barry Zito -- he of the 3-12 record for the 2008 season and the seven-year, $126 million dollar contract.

[Wince.]

So, here's what juuust happened tonight for Zito in the first inning against those danged Los Angeles Dodgers:

First batter: RF Matt Kemp smashed a ground-rule double that was 'bout a foot shy of clearing the wall and got corralled over the fence by a foolish fan.

Second batter: LF Andre Ethier doubled to drive in Kemp.

[Sigh.]

Follow the game online with this link via Yahoo. Or just turn on the TV or radio. Or just go about your night. The weather's looking pretty nice out there right now.

Applicable image via sfweekly.com.

UPDATE! = Holy crap, Zito recovered from his rocky start to strikeout 10 (his highest amount as a Giant), and last seven innings. Then the Giants ground out some actual run support (I know!!!), keyed by a Randy Winn 2-out 2-strike chopper that scurried through the center of the Dodger infield. In the 8th/9th, tattooed Giants closer Brian Wilson slammed the door, reaching 100 MPH on his fastball in the process. Well, hell-yeah! What do y' know! A rousing win. And to think that the game started so ickily... it feels good to be proven wrong!

Supreme Master Ching Hai Spotted

SF Citizen's Jim Herd caught the latest (and arguably the greatest) shot of Supreme Master Ching Hai cruising down Market Street on the side of a Honda. (A Honda? That saddens us.)

Who is Supreme Master Ching Hai, you ask? Well, for starters, she's nuts. And she's the ~~cult~~ leader of Supreme Master Television. And she knows how to rock the blond hair as hard as the brunet. And she's a staunch vegan. And she also raised a good chunk of change for Bill Clinton back in the day. And, it seems, she's going global. Egads, keep the Flavor Aid locked up!

Anyway, read more about our favorite gal here. And submit!

Osento to Wash Its Final Vagina

Our enablers over at Curbed have word that Osento -- the city's only hot tub and "sauna refuge" for ~~(biological)~~ females -- will close its doors for good. What goes on inside the sugar walls of Osento, located on Valencia Street? We can only imagine; clucking about boys, stickers, My Little Pony dolls, and who they want to marry, we assume. Another blow for San Francisco business and women's dirty parts. Alas.

Siebel vs. Shriver

If you're anything like us, you decide who you want running your country, state, and/or city based off of their spouse. And if you're even more like us, you love pitting women against each other in order to keep the patriarchal system running smoothly. That said, who do you prefer as your First Lady of California, the possible one, Jennifer Siebel, or the current one, Maria Shriver?

We can't decide. Maria Shriver was on NBC (bonus points for being on-air talent), is pals with Oprah, supports Obama, seems highly intelligent, has Kennedy blood running through her veins (which is awesome), and is a Scorpio. But? She also scares us with her -- how can we say this delicately? -- extremely angular visage. And Jennifer Siebel is.... Jennifer Siebel. On the plus side, she is a Gemini, which weighs heavily in her favor. (Air signs tend to be the superior signs of them all.)

But what do you think? Which lady do you like seeing standing next to podiums and at posh charity events?

Photo du Jour 164

Photo by Tom Andrews/Flickr

The art of homelessness.

Hot Stuff Food Section Round Up

Did someone say sausage?

San Francisco Chronicle: Sausage fest coming soon to a Fourth of July grill near you. "Global flavors" on the handmade sausage marketplace include: lemongrass and curry, lamb with lavender, and habanero peppers. Vote in the comments for your fave grill item, sausage or not. Chocolate milk is soy good, depending on which brand you try. Noe Valley Farmers Market report includes strawberries, pluots, and a variety of cucumbers.Contra Costa (CoCo) Times: Yells of "Ora!" at the Italian Pizza School (Scuola Italiana Pizzaioli) of Italy, in Manteca. This weeklong pizza school is not easy and is geared towards "seasoned pizza makers," ahem. The Picky Eater analyzes healthy, nutty snacks from Crisco and Frito-Lay. Did someone say beer me? We're all for making that backyard BBQ sparkle, with just the right brewskis.

San Jose Mercury News: Will deviled eggs get their due, already? Making them is pretty easy regardless of which recipe you follow. You may be shocked at how quick they disappear from your buffet spread. Check out the Best in Silicon Valley list, with dets on the best burger, burrito, and even place for high tea.

Drop Hot Stuff a line or a link at laddmary (at) yahoo (dot) com.

Man Bites Dog-- Potholes to Be Fixed

Finally, our long city nightmare is over. No, not the homeless, lack of affordable housing, Barry Zito, or hipster beards, but potholes-- lots and lots of potholes. To deal with them, the city is planning to spend $38 million to fix some of them.

Potholes have became our big pet peeve lately-- you can’t get anywhere without being jostled in every which way. Every time we drive down Franklin we're afraid we're going to hit a hole and not come up. And trying to avoid them gets dangerous because swerving to avoid them usually involves swerving into other lanes, never a good thing. Seriously, we think everyone in the city could agree that the Streets of San Francisco look like Edward James Olmos' face in HD. And hating on potholes isn’t just for drivers, but bikers too (it, however, appears to be a good thing for lawyers). Anyways, there’s a statistical measuring stick for the condition of the roads here in the city (we believe the formula is miles of road divided by number of potholes times amount of coffee accidentally spilled on people’s laps). In 1998, the city received a score of 78 out of 100. In 2005, the rating dropped to 64 out of 100. The DPW estimates that there’s the equivalent of 2,262 city blocks that need fixing, at an estimated cost of $427 million bucks to fix.

The city's plan is to work on eleven major streets and some smaller, neighborhood streets over the next few years. Those streets planned to be de-holed include Seventh Ave to Lincoln Way, Folsom Street in SOMA, Bush Street, Cesar Chavez, and a bunch of other roads. As any driver knows, that’s only the tip of the iceberg and even the Powers that Be admit that the amount of money being spent won't even be close to fixing what needs. The money will come out of the gasoline tax and not the city budget.

And while they're at it, can somebody please start working on 101? You could build a condo in some of the holes that line that highway.

Photo by geekstinkbreath/Flickr

Photo du Jour 161

Photo by exuberance/Flickr

The best place to smoke a joint while you're waiting for you ecstasy to kick in before you spend the day at the Exploratorium, it seems, is undergoing some sort of face lift.

Weather Underground Announces Excessive Heat Watch Warning

What in heaven's name is going on? Oy, this heat, eh? A little before 1:30 p.m. today, Weather Underground announced this harrowing statement of excessive heat. Of steam heat, if you will. Check it:

Very warm weather is forecast to effect San Francisco the middle part of this week. By Tuesday afternoon... temperatures in the city will warm well into the 80s and may reach into the lower 90s in some of the warmest parts of the city east of Twin Peaks. These very warm temperatures will continue into Wednesday... and possibly into Thursday as well. Some relief is expected Friday with cooler temperatures expected.
An excessive heat watch means that a prolonged period of hot temperatures is expected. The expected hot weather can create a dangerous situation in which heat illnesses are possible. Drink plenty of fluids... stay in an air-conditioned room... and avoid working in the sun. Check on relatives and neighbors... especially those who are sensitive to the heat.

OK, folks. This isn't the time to hold back on your knowledge of the city's comfiest watering hole. Tell us which bars and nightclubs have glorious, Freon-filled, and chlorofluorocarbonific air conditioning systems, please? Let us know in the comments.

Another Morning Muni Mess

The kinds folks over at WhatImSeeing sent us this harrowing image of another Muni meltdown, which happened this morning. Trains were backed up from Embarcadero to Townsend. Possible "police activity at Civic Center" might be to blame. Stay tuned.

Happy Day Before Fourth of July!

Ah, an oldie but goodie. Oh, and remember to have a safe and sane Independence Day, folks. Ka-blam! (Follow the jump for more scenes of explosions gone awry.)