Festivus: Although we see no mention of the traditional "Airing of Grievances" or the post-dinner "Feats of Strength" battle, we can't imagine any proper Festivus celebration without them. Still, whether or not tonight's party follows strict Seinfeldian doctrine, a good time will be had by all at Green Aid's holiday bash. Mutaytor performs at this Black Rock City-ish night of fun. Starts at 7:30 p.m. at SomArts Cultural Center; $70. Dub Mission: Renowned for......

Welcome back, little piggies, from your night of binge eating and sipping. (That is, if you were fortunate enough to do so.) Why not get up, out, and about tonight to work off that meal, hangover with the following: -- Kristi Yamaguchi Holiday Ice Rink at Embarcadero Center: Our Kristi, our Kristi, why hast thou forsaken us? Alas, although no longer branded with Olympic gold-medal allure, you'll still have a blast at the holiday rink......

-- "Dub Mission": Resident DJs Sep and Vinnie Esparza welcome Teleseen to their weekly dub-dance club night in the Mission. 9 p.m.-2 a.m. at Elbo Room, 647 Valencia; $5. -- The Way Light Strikes Filled Mason Jars: This winner of the SF Fringe Festival has famous writers visiting a playwright on the precipice of completing his final work. Film starts at 7 p.m. (with free wine and cheese afterwards. Hic!) at the Traveling Jewish......

[Ed. Note: This is maybe too personal, but anyone looking for a room in a share, east Mission?] Oh man, it's already started to look like some kind of boozed-up, stuffed to the gills, Xanax and Percocet inducing kind of holiday season -- and we love it! Nothing like depressants in pill form and drinking on an empty stomach to ward off that ten pound weight gain. Contact your doctor. On the other hand, however......

What makes a DJ a good DJ? Normally this is one of those subjective/ relative sorts of questions. Your answer depends on what kind of music you like. What sort of clubs you go to. Mush stuff like that. For those of you seeking a little more objectivity in your lives there is another way of answering questions. DJ's who win awards and stuff must be good, right? Just say yes. Now that we think......