Danielle Steele, Vanessa & Bill Getty, Trevor & Alexis Traina, and Serge & Tatiana Sorokko are wealthier than you, punk. "A San Francisco family is looking for a personal assistant / household manager to join our team on a long term basis." Are you that someone? But wait, there's more: in addition to joining a family that refers to themselves as a "team," you--a "highly poised, polished, professional, and articulate" cad--will also conduct interviewing,......

By now our admiration for all things Vanessa Getty is well-known. Championed by the masses, we would hope. Take, for example, the above rendering SFist reader Alissa sent to us, which uses Nessie's legendary W shot. Brilliance. Thanks again, Alissa. (And to Miss Bigelow from saving us from further humiliation.)......

Our favorite lady in San Francisco. And the future Mrs. Gavin Newsom. We're just saying. Vanessa's image goes to John O'Hara / Chron; Seibel's goes to Chris Stewart / Chron......

Know the holiday log know God; no holiday log no God. For all you Xmas celebrating consumerists out there - you know, those of you who participate in the evil practice of stocking stuffing and the early morning unwrapping of gifts - be sure to tune in to TV36 to catch the time-honored holiday log. It will burn from 9 a.m. to noon. What's more, a holiday score will be provided by the likes......

Number of people pictured in this week's Swells society column: 55. Number of people pictured whom we recognize: 2 -- Charlotte Maillard Shultz and a way-too-skinny-looking Vanessa Getty. Minority count: 6 (10.9%). Getty v. Traina: 1-7. Big ups to C.Big for the comparison of the Steel-Traina family to the von Trapps! So long, farewell, auf wiedersein, good night. Number of hot dog hats pictured: 1, and it rocks. Days until the Barneys SF opens: 107......

Editrix Rita is globe trotting, so we donned our tiara, cape, and jewels to fill in this week. Total number of people pictured in this week's Swells society column: 78. Total number of people pictured whom we recognize in the pictures: 25 (including George Schultz, Swells standby Charlotte Maillard Schultz, Vanessa Getty, Kamala Harris, Heather Fong, Lars Ulrich and Connie Nielsen.) Our college pal Katherine Calvert and her husband Gray were mentioned in print, too.......

We don't think she's pregs, but here's a picture of Vanessa Getty at Armani Privé in LA wearing the most glamorous maternity dress EVAH!...

Gavin's BFF, Vanessa Getty, looked fabulous at artist Damien Hirst's show in LA last Thursday. This is a signature look for Vanessa -- vintage-looking dress, simple jewelry, and metallic clutch -- but it works. Too bad she didn't look this good in that Judith Leiber ad! ...

Vanessa Getty and her forehead shill for Judith Leiber. By SFist Elaine......

Fist Rita is on a well-deserved holiday break so we apologize ahead of time for this week's suckage. Total number of people pictured in this week's Swells society column: 48...

It doesn't feel right that we're subbing in for SFist Ced, who's on hiatus for a few months -- so we're doing a combination Gastronomique/Philistine review in his honor! Before heading out to the SF Youth Orchestra's Peter and the Wolf holiday concert this afternoon, we grabbed brunch at new trendy Mission bistro Weird Fish. Weird Fish is a combination seafood/vegan restaurant at 18th and Mission -- and the fish isn't really that weird. For......

Yeah, we know, we're stuck here at SFist fetishizing weirdo wonks like Gavin Newsom and Ross Mirkarimi because we don't have any actual celebrities in town that we can follow around and talk about. Well, it's not always true! Drew Altizer sends along some pictures he took at the GlobalGreen USA fundraiser benefit ("Gorgeous and Green: An Ecofabulous Party"), whose board has enough celebrities that they were willing to fly a couple of them up......

Last week's winner, the Bay Guardian. Tim Redmond wants.... Ques-tion TIME! Ques-tion TIME! Also -- impeach! And be nicer to pigeons. Chris Daly likes putting city propositions on the ballot. Ed Jew -- get to know him now, since he didn't get any coverage during the election. A tattoo artist shot in the head in East Oakland. Buy a San Francisco Values t-shirt from the Guardian. Cover articles: The Year In Music (why the Bay......

Ed Jew: I heard Vanessa Getty talked smack about you in W Magazine. Gavin Newsom: Oh, no she didn't! Ed Jew: Oh, yes she did. Gavin Newsom: Then I'm telling everybody how she wore the same blue dress on September 25th in SF, and November 13th in LA. Ed Jew: Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black? SFist Elaine, contributing......

We missed you last week, Swells! Total number of people pictured in this week's Swells society column: 59. Total number of people pictured whom we recognize: 8 (including Tracy Chapman, Dianne Feinstein, and... hey! Welcome back, Charlotte Maillard Shultz!) Minority count: 3 (5%). Getty v. Traina: 3-1. Al Wilsey is counted as a Traina. Hats, capes, tiaras: 0, 0, 0. Stanlee Gatti count: 2. The number of square feet that Dianne Feinstein says former Petaluma......

Total number of people pictured in the Chron's Symphony Opening Night article: 23. Number of people pictured whom we recognize: 6 (Gavin, Brittanie Mountz, Billy and Vanessa Getty, Yurie Pascarella (the hostess in last week's Swells) -- and an uncredited Catherine Bigelow!) Minority count: 4 (17%). Getty v. Traina: 5-2. Number of hats: 0. Years they've been having the Symphony Gala: 95. Stanlee Gatti count: 2. Number of chilly patrons in the tent: 740. Amount......

Total number of people in this week's Swells column: 61. Number of people pictured whose names we recognize: 4. (all at one party: Denise Hale, Trevor Traina, Vanessa Getty, and Stephan "Semi-Charmed Kind of Life" Jenkins.) Minority count: 0 (0%). Number of hats: 7. Getty v. Traina: 1-3. Number of feet Boaz Mazor's cell phone fell into Lake Tahoe: 17. Chef Franc Harris dove into the lake the next day to pick it up. Number......