Governor Newsom has created a Spiderman-pointing-at-Spiderman GIF dilemma for any state universities that comply with Trump's demands to adopt his policies or lose federal funding, as Newsom says he’ll yank their state funding.

One of the many fascist-leaning subplots of the second Trump administration is Trump’s war against universities and colleges, where he’s threatening to pull their federal funding if he feels they are too “woke” or DEI for his thin-skinned, billionaire-inheritee sensibilities. This has hit close to home here in California, where Trump has vowed to cut funding to University of California (UC) schools, and even strong-armed UC Berkeley into handing the administration a list of 160 students and professors who had some vague accusations of “antisemitism” against them.

That intimidation campaign ramped up this week, when the White House sent a letter to several universities saying they had to play by Trump’s rules to continue to receive federal grants. These new rules include capping the numbers of international students the schools admit, and pledge that they not “punish” or “belittle” conservative ideas, whatever that means.

California Governor Gavin Newsom, who’s been comically mocking Trump on social media at pretty brazen levels lately, responded with an all-caps tweet tirade that may have been a policy announcement, or it may have been Gavin’s social team just trying to fuck with Trump some more.  

“IF ANY CALIFORNIA UNIVERSITY SIGNS THIS RADICAL AGREEMENT, THEY'LL LOSE BILLIONS IN STATE FUNDING — INCLUDING CAL GRANTS — INSTANTLY,” Newsom’s office declared on Twitter Thursday. “CALIFORNIA WILL NOT BANKROLL SCHOOLS THAT SELL OUT THEIR STUDENTS, PROFESSORS, RESEARCHERS, AND SURRENDER ACADEMIC FREEDOM.”

Is Newsom even serious here? The all-caps thing is an obvious Trump troll, and consistent with Newsom’s currently quite frequent tweets insulting Trump.

Apparently Newsom is serious with this threat. The Chronicle got a statement out of Newsom’s spokesperson Izzy Gardon, who confirmed that Newsom would use “multiple mechanisms, including through the budget process” to cut funding for the state’s schools that play ball with Trump. “We’re fully confident in our swift ability to take action should a university bend the knee to Trump,” he added.

We should note that Trump’s letter this week was sent to just nine universities according to CBS News, and USC is the only California university on that list. (The list also includes Vanderbilt, which has raised the possibility of starting a satellite campus in SF). But you could see Trump taking this ploy nationwide if he finds the early results encouraging.

As governor, Newsom does not have the ability to direct what state universities teach. But he does have the ability to control the purse strings on state grants, so yes, cutting funding is something he could do.

The obvious question for universities caught in these dual crosshairs is whether Newsom or Trump has more money on the table for them. The Chronicle reports that the state of California's current budget has $45 billion for college and university funding. Trump had previously yanked $1.3 billion from Columbia and attempted to pull $578 million from UCLA. So yes, Newsom could go toe-to-toe with Trump’s federal government here on funding totals.

There is also a third path for the universities, a path that perhaps not enough schools are taking. Universities can also sue the Trump administration, and those schools that do tend win in court.

Related: UC Wins This Round Against Trump, Judge Reinstates $500 Million in Research Grants That Trump Yanked [SFist]

Image: Royce Hall building on University of California (UCLA) campus in Los Angeles, California, USA - May 28, 2023. UCLA is a public land-grant research university. (Getty Images)

Eloi Vasquez, a UC Berkeley student who had been missing since he left a fraternity party near the University of Southern California this weekend, has been found dead. He was struck by a car, his aunt confirmed to the San Jose Mercury News. The family was offering a 100,000 reward for information that could lead to Vasquez, ABC7 reported.

Vasquez, 19, was a soccer player at Berkeley and a Marin County native. "We're devastated, such a loss of life," said his aunt, Beth Crestan, "He had such a future ahead of him. It's the worst outcome imaginable."

According to the Daily Trojan, Vasquez left a party at the Tau Kappa Epsilon fraternity without his wallet and ID. In his unfamiliarity with the area, he told friends he hoped to walk to the beach.

Crespan said that his mother and father identified Vasquez by his clothing and leg brace. She also said the driver who struck Vasquez called police and stayed at the scene.

Yes, it's that time of the college football season when those bronzed, militaristic brutes from the University of Spoiled Children come play our sweet, gentle Cal Bears. As part of their presumptuous triumphal march through the city, the hundreds-strong USC Marching Band took over Union Square this evening for a pep rally. Rumor has it that later in the evening they'll be headed to (where else) the Marina. And it looks like you can still scalp some tickets for the game.

Most states have similar rules. The slogan: "no shame, no blame, no names • sin pena, sin culpa, sin peligro."

Our CA law has had its ups and downs over the years. This might give you some idea of how some people would like to increase the age of a newborn that could be given up.

It's easy to see how the program is working in Los Angeles County. Take a look here and see if you find evidence of cause and effect.

L.A. is the place where a former USC architecture student Holly Ashcraft is being accused of murder for placing her newborn in a dumpster on campus in 2005. Part of the defense is that there is no evidence that proves she knew she was pregnant (although a similar set of circumstances appears to have existed in 2004 as well). Needless to say, this whole affair remains controversial.

But it serves to illustrate that you might know somebody who might benefit from the knowledge of the existence of this statewide funded mandate. Just saying.

Update: Now with "correct" spelling!

We understand that it's common for coaches to put their game plans (strategy notes? football-y documents?) in their pants. What is strange is Standford using the following shot of Coach Jim Harbaugh, with his plans tucked neatly near his crotchal area, as their marketing tool of choice on 2007 football publicity handouts, wallet-sized calendars, and flyers. Behold:

Looks a bit crude, which we like since it almost makes football interesting to us. Marketing imagery aside, congratulations, Stanford, on the upset over the vulgar institution of learning that is USC!

Thanks, Mark, for sending this our way.

Kiffin has shown himself to be one of the most skillful tacticians in the National Football League in his 11 seasons with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, helping birth the successful “Tampa 2” zone scheme, and leading his unit to the #1 statistical defensive rank in 2002 and 2005.

He is well respected as a wily innovator and a great defensive mind, so the Raiders… wait,

His son? He’s 31?!

Forget it. Just f---in’ forget it.

You kiddin’ me? This is ridiculous.

The man that Oakland (Al) hired, Lane Kiffin, is Monte Kiffin’s son. Lane was the offensive coordinator at USC. He has never been a Head Coach. He only spent one season in the NFL as a “quality control” coach for the Jacksonville Jaguars. He’s 31 years young.

This is so stupid. Couldn’t Al at least have tried to get someone more experienced? Why would the NFL’s most notoriously fractious team unite under a young, inexperienced college coach?

First, a recap:

* Picked round 7, pick 47; 455 overall / Kevin McMahan / WR / Maine / 6'2" / 196 / "Mr. Irrelevant"
* Picked round 7, pick 6; 214 overall / Chris Morris / C / Michigan State / 6'4" / 305 / "The Heady Snapper"
* Picked round 6, pick 7; 176 overall / Kevin Boothe / OL / Cornell / 6'4" / 327 / "The Ivy League Hotelier"
* Picked round 4, pick 4; 101 overall / Darnell Bing / S / USC / 6'2" / 230 / "The Match-up Solution"

* Picked round 3, pick 5; 69 overall / Paul McQuistan / OT / Weber State / 6'6" / 315 / "The McNasty"

Story: Paul McQuistan and his twin brother Pat were both chosen in the 2006 NFL Draft, with Paul to your Raiders, and Pat to the Cowboys. Paul went in the third round, and Paul in the seventh. They both play on the offensive line. Hmmm, how would an NFL scout rate one better than the other? What if they'd switched jerseys and not told anyone?!

In any case, Oakland's McQuistan is already making waves in The Raider Nation -- he's already got his own fansite! Paulmcquistanfans.com was alertly noted by Patrick Patterson over on his Thoughts From The Dark Side blog.

And how do they fit?: Another big, raw O-line recruit for Coach Shell to mould.

Outlook: The big redhead will be starting at right guard this Sunday against the Eagles.

When USC guard Gabe Pruitt went up to take his first free throws during the game, he was greeted by the Cal fans with a rousing chorus of "Vic-tor-ia! Vic-tor-ia!" and a phone number. Pruitt went on to miss both free throws. Now, you might be asking, who is Victoria and why would the Cal fans chant out her name? Well, it turns out that days before, members of the Cal Rally Committee IM'ed Pruitt and pretended to be a UCLA co-ed named Victoria. They even sent fake pictures of "Victoria." After going back and forth, the Cal students hooked, lined, and sinkered Gabe into thinking he was going to get the hook up after the game and so he gave "Victoria" his phone number and, well, that's how he found his phone number not only chanted back at him, but held up on signs during the game.

Pruitt went onto go only 3 for 13 the whole night and Cal went onto win by eleven. While it's hard to say whether or not Pruitt was fazed by all of this, if Cal fans want to go ahead and think they had a hand in it, they certainly have every right to. Cal's team is currently considered to be a "bubble" team and unsure what the Tourney Gods have for them. While Cal's RPI ranking might be not so hot, this stunt should give them a much higher FPO (Fans Punking Opponents) ranking. And if that's not good enough, they should be let in only to see what they could cook up for J.J. Redick.

LIBERTY BOWL
Fresno St vs. Tulsa
Saturday, December 31, 2005

Fresno has been all slumpy since nearly upsetting USC in a monstrous toe-to-toe battle. Tulsa used to be in the same conference with Fresno and is on the way up, winning their first league championship in 20 years by taking Conference USA from UTEP.

Tulsa's mascot is the "Golden Hurricane." That's considerable more serious than a simple Golden Shower. Who OKs these mascot names? It just makes us gloomy to ponder.

I love Tulsa's tight end Garrett Mills, he's like 80% of their offense. (And he just broke the NCAA 1-A record for TE receiving yards in a single season.)

Sponsorship: The Liberty Bowl is sponsored by AutoZone. Their company name might also be used for a 1970s paperback sci-fi novel. "To win your freedom, you must pass through the AutoZone!"

HOUSTON BOWL
(14) TCU vs. Iowa St.
Saturday, December 31, 2005

TCU would probably be playing after New Year's Day if they hadn't lost to an unranked SMU. Doh. So here they are in the Houston Bowl, which is Texas. And Texas means fightin'!

This game will be held in the NFL Houston Texans' Reliant Stadium. No one would be shocked if this bowl game outdrew a Texans game.

MC Fried Chicken's take: TCU should win. They have a hot QB and should take out Iowa St.

Sponsorship: EV1.net. A who-da-what? Upon further review, EV1.net is an ISP from Houston. Perhaps you're even using them right now.

Image of Jim Crowley, one of the famous 4 Horsemen, carying the ball for Notre Dame during the 1925 Rose Bowl from the Rose Bowl site.

SFist Christopher Rogers, contributing