A controversy over a postal worker killing a turkey that attacked delivery workers has gobbled up Sacramento Nextdoor, as a “drumstick gang” of wild turkeys has had tensions marinating for months.

It is well-known that raccoons, geese, and turkeys are some of the biggest assholes of the animal kingdom. And SFist readers will remember the 2020 saga of the Oakland Rose Garden’s Gerald the turkey, who divided the community between those sympathetic to animals, and those who think certain animals should be snuffed if their assholery gets out of control.

Sacramento Bee brings us another wild story of an aggressive wild turkey, this time in  a Sacrament suburb called Arden Arcade. A certain gaggle of turkeys had been specifically terrorizing “mail carriers, Amazon drivers and garbage collectors,” though oddly, no one else.  “I call them the drumstick gang.” Ared Arcade resident Trina Gebert told the Bee.

In October 2021, the California Department of Fish and Wildlife (CDFW) circulated an internal document called “Aggressive Wild Turkeys in Sacramento – Repeated Aggression toward Postal Service Mail Carriers.” The Bee acquitted that document and other emails in a Freedom of Information Act request, and it reported that the agency “started receiving calls of aggressive turkeys that were threatening and interfering with mail delivery in October 2021.”

“By mid-October it was evident that the birds were not responding to normal ‘shooing away’ and one of the mail carriers was injured on his hand,” the document added.

The agency sent out a video team, and the Bee acquired one of those videos, which confirmed that for some reason, the turkeys only attacked delivery workers. “It looks like we can walk right up to ’em, it’s just the mail carrier who they don’t like,” a wildlife officer says in one of the videos. “They are obviously really upset, behaving very aggressively toward the mail carriers, but no one else.”

According to documents the Sacramento Bee obtained, the CDFW’s Human Wildlife Conflict team (yes, they have one) decided on the fatal solution, saying “we may be able to expediently authorize the lethal take” of the largest and most aggressive bird.

But on February 28 this year, a postal service worker took matters into their own hands, and offed the bird with brute force. And Sacramento Nextdoor exploded with controversy, some complainers furious at the cruelty, others thrilled that someone gave that goddamned bird what it had coming.

“Last week the situation escalated to a national media story when one of the mail carriers, feeling threatened, struck a male (tom) turkey with a stick resulting in the tom’s death.” CDFW officials told one another in an email.

The postal worker was considered for discipline, but ultimately, not punished for beating a wild turkey to death. But this Thanksgiving, there are surely plenty of folks in that Sacramento suburb who are thankful that bird was bludgeoned to the great beyond.

Related: Oakland Residents Divided On Saving/Euthanizing Aggressive Wild Turkey In Rose Garden [SFist]

Image: California Department of Fish and Wildlife

The San Francisco Turkey Giveaway is handing out free turkeys to gobble up for the 15th year in a row, this year with 5,500 birds being given out for Thanksgiving.

Let’s talk turkey. An estimated 25% of San Franciscans don't have enough to eat, according to the Department of Public Health's Food Security Task Force. We hope to not have that happen on Thanksgiving, which is why the Examiner reports that for the 15th consecutive year, the city is distributing thousands of free turkeys. According to a release from the mayor’s office, the 2021 Turkey Giveaway will hand out “more than 5,500 turkeys.”

“With one in four San Franciscans at risk of food insecurity, we know that our communities greatly depend on programs like this to help make ends meet, especially during the holiday season,” Breed said in the release. “I am grateful to all of the city departments and community partners that work hard to help all San Franciscans, especially our families, seniors, and vulnerable communities, put food on the table and, more importantly, find hope and joy during the holidays.”

According to the release, the turkey drops started Friday at Bernal Dwellings Apartments. To be a free turkey recipient, you probably have to already be receiving some sort of services form either the San Francisco Housing Authority or the San Francisco Human Services Agency, the two agencies handling turkey distribution.

And they’re handing out more than just turkeys. According to the release, “the Housing Authority provides hundreds of food baskets with dry goods for holiday meals to families and individuals living in various housing sites.”

Seems like they’re pretty good turkeys, too, as according to the mayor’s office, they were donated by organizations that include Whole Foods and the California Poultry Association.

Related: The Chronicle Tells You How To Hunt And Kill Your Own Thanksgiving Turkey [SFist]

Image: @Adam12332871709 via Twitter

So, in #Davis, sometimes a turkey just follows you.

A photo posted by Will Keightley (@feverblue) on Oct 6, 2016 at 11:20pm PDT

Davis, the college town to our north, has a somewhat Hitchockian problem on its hands: The town's been besieged by aggressive wild turkeys, and, frightened and fed up, city officials have decided to fight back. The Sacramento Bee reports that members of the city council this week voted to take the war to their foes with a battle plan that consists of trapping and relocating birds as well as killing some of the more menacing creatures.

As it currently stands, the turkeys pretty much have the run of the town. They took over the cemetery ten years ago — chasing mourners and eating flowers left behind at graves — and spread out from there. One particularly mean bird, Downtown Tom, messes with shoppers in the downtown area. One man was even forced to call 911 after a bird (no word on whether or not it was Tom) pinned him up against a wall near the downtown bank.

“They’re living on Fantasy Island here,” Davis’s wildlife resource specialist John McNerny, speaking of the 80 or so birds that call the city home, told the Bee. “They have everything they need.”

It is already illegal to feed the birds, but as the Associated Press observes, over the years many residents of the wildlife friendly city have ignored those rules. Now, it seems, their persistent flouting of the law has come home to roost.

Officials estimate the turkey offensive will cost roughly $20,500 in the first year. Although, with Thanksgiving fast approaching, a much less expensive option presents itself.

Related: Offering A Kid A Soda Will Soon Be Illegal In Davis

I didn't realize that one could hunt and kill a wild turkey in California and that said turkey would actually be worth eating, but according to the Chronicle, this is totally a thing!

Yes, with a proper permit, allegedly, one can head north to spots in Mendocino and Lake Counties to shoot one's own Tom the Turkey — and there is even, of course, a local hunting guide service called Sky to Table that will help outfit you with the proper gear and teach you how to shoot. Also, you'll want to aim for the head, i.e. the part of the bird you don't want to eat, otherwise you end up chewing on buckshot.

Turkey season opens on November 14, and if you have $500 or more to drop on gear and a turkey gun, you'll want to get a move-on on that permit. And don't go thinking you can just shoot one of the wild turkeys that, say, roam Berkeley for instance. Because that's not allowed by law.

Apparently toms, the males, can be 18 to 22 pounds just like your average store-bought bird, but what do they taste like? Turkey can be dry and odd-tasting enough as it is, what happens when you add gameyness to that?

Also, turkeys travel in flocks — it's actually called a 'rafter' of turkeys, FYI — so they can be tough to single out and shoot unless you really know what you're doing.

And if you're looking for the challenge of game hunting, do you really want to go after some big fat flightless bird rather than, say, something that flies? [Correction: OK, apparently the unable-to-fly thing is a myth because they feed on the ground. Per LiveScience, "The have to fly... because they roost in trees at night. Some accounts say they can soar up to 55 mph for short bursts."]

Let's also not forget: wild turkeys can be totally aggressive and scary.

Turkey is the least favored part of any respectable Thanksgiving spread. (That, or the perfectly good stuffing you destroyed by adding walnuts and raisins to it. Why did you do that?! Oh god, I hate you so much right now for ruining everything.) But with a little prep work and thoughtful attention to detail, your turkey will move up in rank, somewhere between cranberries and that gluten-free wild rice dressing dish your cousin's girlfriend brought.

4505 Meats
While I can't claim vegetarian status, stuffing a bird inside a bird inside another bird and then roasting them seems like a guaranteed one-way ticket to Hell. It also seems like a first-class ticket to savory bliss. 4505 Meats offers the Grand Turducken ($380), boasting roughly 20 pounds of pure poultry, and is enough to feed 25 to 30 people. Enjoy, you crazy heathens. (Note: 4505 will not offer the Junior Turducken this year.)

Mary's Turkey
The chefs I talked to recommended Mary's. Very much so. The birds are free-range, vegetarian fed, never given antibiotics, no preservatives/hormones, and best of all, are raised in California. Natives, yet again, are best.

BN Ranch Turkey
Christened by the New York Times as the "pioneer of the good meat movement," Bill Niman's turkey are now available for preorder. BN Ranch birds start out at $98 and go up from there.

Turkey Saltimbocca
White meat is for chumps. It's for the confused. It's for monsters. But one way to render breast meat acceptable is by saltimboccaing the crap out of it. Enter Turkey Saltimbocca. It's a pretty basic recipe, one that involves sage, prosciutto, and Italian fontina wrapped in thin fillets of meat. Neat little packages. It takes some time, sure, but it also saves time since it doesn't require too much cooking or space in the oven. If your guests aren't persnickety about a rustic and/or classic Thanksgiving dinner, give this a shot.

Just make the Zuni Chicken instead
Here's the recipe. Serves two (three at the most), so double or triple it. The only tricky part will be finding birds small enough.

Mentioned in Morning Links, but too good not to award its own post: Berkeleyside gives us yet another reason to visit Berkeley—our goal in 2012 is to head over there at least once a quarter—with these wild turkeys roaming the streets of Berkeley (and a far off land called Albany) with nary a care in the world. More than a dozen birds ran around the two East Bay cities this week, spotted by local photogs.

Bay Area Bird Blog had a bit of info on the birds back in 2008, saying:

The turkeys showed up a few years ago, and there were just a few turkeys. Now there are lots of them — I have seen flocks of 20 or more…actually “herd” seems like a more appropriate word than “flock.” These things get pretty damn big! Mostly they hang about on the ground, but sometimes a few of them roost in trees, where they look somehow incongruous, like seeing a dog up there. I have not personally been harassed by turkeys, but I’ve seen it happen a few times; they particularly seem to hate people walking bicycles, although they’re OK with bikes being ridden. They also occasionally wander out in the road and sort of stand there like they’re making a point, much like bison do. They are kinda cool, fun to watch, and I don’t mind having them around.

But beware, those of you who get to close to this feathered gang. "They are fun, but really dopey and aggressive. Be careful," warns Berkeleyside commenter bingo.

Check out another pic of the birds' adventure.

RIP, little fellas.