The last time we saw Sandra Bernhard, which was at Bimbo's earlier this year, we almost walked into her as we were leaving the ladies room and she was making her entrance from the back of the theater, crooning "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going." After a stagehand or security guy or au pair grabbed and shook the holy hell out of us, preventing us from colliding with Ms. Sandra, we went......

-- Gay Geeks Saturday Night Social: "Fucking faggots," you scream? Ah, correction: "fucking nerd faggots," is more like it. Queers (not just Marys) who like to "geek out on the arts or science, study old plane crashes,... the myth of the American cowboy or how to make graphs more efficient for displaying data," this is the night for you. Come! Starts at 8 p.m. at Muddy's Coffeehouse, 1304 Valencia; free. -- Lights Out SF:......

Before anyone accuses us of having a soft spot in our hearts for bands from Texas, let us just go ahead and admit we do. That leads us to this week's giveaway featuring Pilotdrift, a band from Texarkana. Don't get any ideas about their sound from their hometown though. Their music is atmospheric, symphonic, theatrical, and the singer even sounds a bit like Bowie. Their debut album is out now on Good Records Recordings, owned......

Okay, so Burger King has introduced this new coffee, B.K. Joe, available in regular, decaf, and (wait for it . . .) TURBO ("40 percent more caffeine!"). A lot of places hope to lure in customers with good coffee as a sweetener to buy other products. McDonald's, for instance, is doing something similar, but using New England as the test market, so we can't really check that out yet (using fair trade, organic coffee and hyping the quality, not the power; seems like a better idea to us). Specialty's, though, is now carrying Intelligentsia coffee, a pretty well-known brand out of Chicago that's apparently well liked amongst coffee snobs. We, in fact, were excited to hear this; Specialty's old coffee . . . well, let's just say your Trmiethyldioxypurist's cheapness is well known, yet he couldn't stomach Specialty's 50-cent-if-you-bring-your-own-cup deal back when he used to work near the Montgomery Station location. ...

Sure, Supreme Court nominee Harriet Miers seems like, as Jon Stewart said before moving onto Tom Ammiano last night, "a Talbots shopper" now -- but back in the day, that girl could move! Before she embraced God and evangelical Christianity, Miers worked in San Francisco for local legal hound Melvin Belli in the summer of 1969. Belli, known as "The King of Torts," represented a number of notorious folks throughout his career, including Jack Ruby and Sirhan Sirhan, and that very year, Belli got a letter from Jake-Gyllenhaal-bait the Zodiac Killer. Miers came out for the summer to work in the famed Belli Bordello. By all accounts (that is, PJ Corkery's), she was a pretty decent lawyer but seemed a little uncomfortable in the office. "She was a terrific, talented worker, and an awfully nice gal, but she was something of a square," reports one of her co-workers. Miers turned down her offer of a permanent job, and decided to stay in Texas instead. The conclusion we've drawn from this saga? Miers is the Zodiac Killer! Picture of Miers and Emperor Palpatine off Wonkette. Go vote in the Miers Lookalike contest! ...