Remember when most of you lost your minds over whether or not it's OK for hipsters to sport Kaffiyehs. (The conclusion: it's fine to wear them, but they tend to overpower an outfit as an accessory.) Well, scenesters, get ready to put down the straw, wipe your nostrils, and head over to Crossroads to sell your black-and-white Kaffiyehs. Sausage-fingered Food Network star, Rachael Ray love them. And she just had her Dunkin' Donuts ad......

From November 16 to November 18, Denton Geiger, 42, a San Francisco resident, held his (ex)girlfriend captive in their former home, where beat and raped her. (Jesus.) According to the Examiner, "Geiger allegedly approached the victim on Haight as she sold marijuana and persuaded her to go to their former home...[t]he victim escaped on Nov. 18 when an acquaintance entered the residence and intervened as she fled to a neighbor’s house." After a good......

Fun Fun Fun Fest 2007 Recap from Super!Alright! on Vimeo. Austinist attended a town hall meeting about proposed noise ordinances that could undermine the city's future as the Live Music Capital of the World, and lamented the possible loss of Texas's only feminist bookstore. Throughout the week, they interviewed a bunch of indie fashion designers and D-I-Y websites—Etsy, Ornamental Things, 31 Corn Lane, and Aorta Designs—for the upcoming Stitch Fashion Show. They also did......

According to CQ Politics, the FBI combed through customer data collected by SF and Bay Area grocery stores in 2005 and 2006. Why? To see what amount of Middle Eastern food products were purchased, with the hope of leading authorities to the sweet spot: Iranian terrorists. Of course!...

In case you missed it, President 25% Approval Ratings was able to ram through some legislation revamping all those FISA laws you keep hearing about. It's hard to make heads or tails of what the bill says as the administration, in a surprise to no one, won't tell anyone what it says, but it involves making warrants kind of unnecessary, the monitoring of anyone suspected as a "terrorist" and-- get this-- the oversight by one Alberto "Fredo" Gonzalez. That's more than letting the fox guard the hen house, that's letting Michael Vick run the SPCA. ...

Someone from the same security company outside the Hitler satire movie we saw the day before was outside the Castro for last night's SF Jewish Film Fest movie too, which was Hothouse, a Sundance award-winning documentary about Palestinians incarcerated in Israel for terrorist crimes. It was a stark reminder of the human cost of the subject of the movie (and we are extremely grateful that we live in a place where one security guard is......

Proud son of the East Bay and noted environmental activist James Hetfield was held at a London airport upon arriving before Metallica's performance at the Live Earth concert. Apparently, airport authorities pulled him aside because with his new double pronged beard, he looked too Taliban-y. ...

--Check out Ross Mirkarimi's Gavin hair! Didn't someone else try this too? --When is a dognapping a terrorist act? (Hint: animal rights activists may be involved). --Apple TV isn't doing so well --Tapioca Ed turns in his residency paperwork to the SF City Attorney a day early. --Keep affairs on your own side of the bridge! People are starting to subpoena Fastrak records in divorce cases. --It's queer senior prom at the LGBT Community......

There's nothing pedestrians love more than running into groups of college students clustering on the sidewalk with clipboards and messagey t-shirts, making intense eye contact and hollering, "HI OKAY WOULD YOU LIKE TO SAVE THE WORLD AWESOME YAY." Now at last you can be one of those dreadful people, and on behalf of Barry "The Mad Bomber" Hussein Mussolini Obama! The campaign's San Francisco Walk for Change starts this Saturday, the 9th, in Dolores......

As we all know, cars are the worst things ever invented, and owning one makes you a terrorist. Fortunately, it's easy to go carless in SF -- we tearfully gave our beloved station wagon to KQED a few years ago, and the absence of insurance payments, repair bills, and gas stations made us feel like we'd won the lotto. The only catch: SF's delightfully idiosyncratic transit system has a bit of a learning curve,......

There was not a very impressive turnout at that celebration of the death of terrorist cell leader Jerry Falwell. SFist photographer Jim reports that when he passed by, there were three protesters present (including the piñata), greatly outnumbered by members of the press. For the rest of the city, though, life went blissfully on -- such was the man's clout over the sinners of San Francisco. Sadly, as irrelevant as Jerry was to our......

SFist Sara S's got the jujubes! Please don’t mistake us for fans of human suffering but it’s high time a film was made to tell the uninformed public about the genocide in Rwanda. Beyond the Gates, at the Embarcadero, is a smart, engaging, often (rightly) painful view of the conflict from the view of a Catholic training college manned by John Hurt and Hugh Dancy. It’s a tearjerker but it’s really edifying to see how......

As if we need more things to worry about concerning our emergency preparedness, a new study about to come out is saying that not even non-profits are ready to respond well to any sort of disaster in the Bay Area, from terrorist attack to earthquake to the Aqua Teen Hunger Force. In a report done by the United Way of the Bay Area entitled "Ready or Not: Ensuring Bay Area Nonprofits Can Serve During Disaster," the conclusion is that non-profits are "more vulnerable to a catastrophic disaster than it needs to be." We love the bland, bueracritic lingo of that statement too-- it sounds much better than, say, "oy, what a mess " or "could be better, but who really knows? To do a better job, they and a bunch of other disaster related organizations are pledging to get together and work all the kinks out. ...

Between fake terrorist alerts and scandals big and small, this just might be the Best Best of the -ists ever. We're exhausted just thinking about it. First up, SFist, who saw their little 'ole site be the center of what was a nice little scandal (even getting their editor on TV) only to find their scandal dwarfed by the even bigger scandal caused by their Mayor boffing one of his aides' wife. We're not just tooting our horn when we say we think SFist summed up the whole thing better than anyone: Holy Crap!!!!! ...

For those of you who felt left out of the whole Alqueda Teen Hunger Force terrorist plot, don't you worry, we weren't left out. It turns out twenty of those things were scattered throughout the city. Unlike those idgits in Boston, nobody seemed to think anything of it. So no complaints were filed and no press conferences were held with people trying to explain why something that looks like one of those Lite Brite things was some nefarious plot hatched by people hiding in caves. In fact, one of the ones that was found was found over the weekend on a sign above an art gallery on Clement Street and not only did nobody call it in, but the person who found it thought it was cool. When the batteries went out, he just took it down. ...

-Last night, a vigil for the slain officer, Bryan Tuvera, was held at St. Mary's. There will be a funeral procession today which will affect traffic as Geary will be closed....

We found this story on the KGO site whle cruising around looking for Day Around the Bay stories and we thought we'd write about it. But then we watched the video of it and decided not to, mainly because it's basically perfect as is. There's nothing we could add to it that would make it more awesome than the story already is. Basically, what the story is about is this guy who is hanging a figure that looks like an arab (he says it's not an arab but a "terrorist" for which we are all missing the subtelty in his caricture). He was hanging the figure from a tree but after a complaint was made, the cops told him to take it down. So he moved it into his front lawn where it will stay until we "finish the job in Iraq". ...

Welcome to This Is Good, a new recommendation column for SFist about things that are good. If something is good, we'll tell you. Simple as that. * http://AlertSF.org Is Good. AlertSF is a emergency services network used to send out emergency alerts and "post-disaster" information via text-messaging from the City & County of San Francisco....

We're not big fans of airport security. We know, we know, post 9/11 reality and we must put up with whatever to make the world safe for democracy and all that. And we'd be down, really, if the measures made sense but they don't. They're all pretty stupid, actually. Like that liquid ban which was done after that alleged plot involving liquid explosives. That's a total joke because the reality is that in order to build the bomb the terrorists would have to have created some sort of chem lab in the airplane in order to build it. We just don't see that working And don't even get us started on the whole shoe thing. If we ever ran into the alleged shoe-bomber, we'd personally beat the snot out of him for making it so we had to take off our shoes everytime we boarded a plane. Talk about dumb ass. ...

One good thing about being the area known as having the most-liberal, terrorist loving court system is that we get all the fun lawsuits happening here. Which would describe a lawsuit filed a couple of days ago against the Federal Government at the US District in San Francisco for slacking on a global warming report. ...

Security is a "top priority" for tomorrow's Mausoleum Party, hosted by the Stanford frats. You gotta love an article that starts with the splash headline "Police: Stanford not the place to go for free beer on weekends." As one officer tells the Stanford Daily, "I’ve had experiences where a high-school student from Palo Alto has gotten a hold of a Stanford ID card, made copies of it and put it over their own ID. Then,......

Sorry to be the bearers of bad news, but for those of you looking for a good excuse not to go to the Raiders/Cards Bottom-of-the-Barrel-Fest this Sunday, what was looking like the best possible excuse ever just fell apart. That excuse? Oh, terrorists unleashing a dirty bomb at the game....

We've held out this long, and we're only gonna make this jokes once, but this summer, watch out for... Drinks on a plane! (We'll now run across the street and demand of the priest an appropriately harsh prescription for penance.) But don't worry, technology and, to a lesser extent, the Bush and Blair administrations, are here to protect you. With biometric terrorist detectors, other tech that's been around for generations, and the latest in arbitrary......

We found the Rubik's Cube behind some puzzle books, led there by clues around the Main branch of the library. Once solved (by taking it apart and reassembling it; we're not proud), a phone number circled the cube. So went one of the puzzles in the Perplex City Live event held on Saturday in San Francisco, the first event of its kind in the U.S. Perplex City is a collectible card game, where you buy......

If you've been like us, you've been reading all sorts of stories about terrorist plots in a whole bunch of cities that aren't the Bay Area and feeling kind of jealous. Hey, terrorists, what about us? Aren't we good enough to terrorize? Are we not infidel enough? Does our lack of good bagels preclude us from being part of the International Zionist Conspiracy? Luckily, reports have been coming out saying that yes indeed, the Bad Guys have been looking our way and plotting some terror. ...

"Papa, are you a terrorist?" We spent several very fun, yet dark weeks in Hamburg, Germany (when you don’t get up before noon in December there, you don’t see much light) with a friend who grew up there years ago. Watching the dim, gray aerial views and port scenes of what we found to be an ultimately beautiful city in the Hitchcockian style, Seeds of Doubt brought us back to those days. However, what followed was an unmistakable reminder that things have changed in Hamburg, as they have many places, in a post-9/11 world. We didn’t really know what to expect going into the film, whose German title Folgeschaden, we’ve been told translates into "damaging after-effects." The film showcases a young couple, presumably in their thirties, who’ve seemingly already acknowledged and encountered the issues inherent in sharing their lives with someone of a different ethnicity and religion. When Tariq is suspected of being a "sleeper" in a Hamburg terrorism cell, it becomes apparent that the couple only touched the surface of the difficulties their relationship will face in the days to come. It is clear that Maya and Tariq have discussed issues relating to their young son and his religious upbringing, but not much more. SFist Wendy, contributing...

We were on the fence, at first, about the new Mr. T comic book series. But then we turned a page and witnessed our hero entering an evildoer's lair by crashing through a brick wall, and all our reservations fell away. Sure, it's ridiculous, cheesy, and a little confusing. But it just wouldn't be Mr. T otherwise. As James at Isotope Comics pointed out to us, Mr. T's never sold out, never changed, never updated......

A passenger at Mineta San Jose International Airport was taken off the plane by authorities for being a possible terrorist threat. SFist Truthmaker was at the airport at the time and reports that pretty much the entire airport was shut down, causing his houseguests to miss their flight. And the reason for all the hullabaloo? Apparently, the passenger who had "been acting suspiciously" wrote the words "suicide bomber" in his journal. It is not reported......

The California National Guard has quietly disbanded a group that has been accused of spying on anti-war protestors. The two person unit, called the Information Synchronization, Knowledge Management and Intelligence Fusion program, or ISKMIFP, an orgaization so sneaky they didn't even want to give it a cool acronym (and one with more titles than members) was given broad range to sniff out possible terrorist threats. Like a Mother's Day Anti-War rally led by a Peninsula anti-war group. ...

Two suspects have been arrested in the Oakland convenience store vandalism case. According the Chronicle, two men have been taken into custody and four more warrants have been issued for other suspects. As anticipated, the suspects have ties to the controversial community leader Yusuf Bey. Also remaining under investigation is the kidnapping of Tony Hamdan, the owner of one two vandalized stores, shortly before its arson fire Monday. The suspects, Yusuf Bey IV (and......