Gerard Livernois snapped this shot of a very modern Market Street.

A horde of teens who assaulted a woman on Sunday are in a thick wad of trouble. The merry band of useless hormone cases, it seems, tossed a milkshake at a female pedestrian on Sunday, June 24, just before midnight, hitting her in the face. Vile. For what it's worth, the group was motoring around inside a white Range Rover. It seems that the woman was walking across University Avenue near Alma Street on Sunday when a group of teenagers in a white SUV threw the aforementioned frozen sweet treat in her face.

But wait, it gets worse.

In a instinctual moment of retaliation, the woman hurled her purse at the car. Unfortunately, "[a] window was open on the Range Rover and the purse landed in the car." And saod purse contained an alleged $2,000 in cash as well as several personal items. Police are now looking for the deplorable teens in question, "but have no descriptions." The kids could face charges up to and including "battery for striking the woman with the milkshake, or possession of stolen property or misappropriation of property."

The milkshake was vanilla.

[Palo Alto Online]
[NBC Bay Area]

The man who allegedly and intentionally mowed down a former Marine and Cal Fire firefighter was arrested on Wednesday morning. The suspect's name is Eduardo Shaparo Esquivel, 22, and he hails from South San Francisco. If you recall, Esquivel got into a physical altercation with Albert Bartal, 29, at a Jack in the Box at 11th Avenue and Geary Boulevard on Thanksgiving.

Both lads were separated. Bartal then left the restaurant, but Esquivel, still furious over the fight, climbed into his mind-numbingly tacky black Mazda CX-type SUV, followed the victim to the gas station, and then plowed his SUV into the Bartal.

Bartal is in the hospital suffering from life-threatening injuries.

According to SF Appeal, who broke the story, "Esquievel is currently held on felony charges for mayhem, attempted murder, assault with a deadly weapon, and assault with great bodily injury."

Eastbound Geary Boulevard between 9th and 11th Avenues closed temporarily this morning after a vehicle-pedestrian collision. According to SF Appeal, "a 70 year old male was struck by a Toyota SUV at 10th Avenue and Geary at 7:56 AM. The victim was transported to SF General, and the driver, who stopped after the accident, remained at the scene."

The pedestrian was whisked to a nearby hospital with life-threatening injuries.

"I am advising people avoid the area," SFPD spokesperson Officer Albie Esparza explained to the Appeal, "and I am expecting the area to be shut down for quite some time."

Oh, San Francisco. You amuse us so.

This SUV here would like you to know that it's not furnished with any animal products, okay? But before you start going into convulsions, it's an SUV hybrid. So...well, it still grosses us out a bit. Not the SUV part, but the part about environmentalists of the Bay Area adopting an even more aggressive moral majority-ish tone, one that worries us. Watch it, people.

Image credit: Flickr's Brian Brooks