Whitest Kids U Know: In addition to winning the Best Sketch award at the 2006 Aspen Comedy Festival and being crowned one of "10 Comics to Watch" by Variety, these guys are, apparently, both very funny and very pasty. They're also a part of SF Sketchfest. (Unfamiliar with these Kids? Check them out here and here.) WKUK perform twice tonight at 8 p.m. and 10:30 p.m. at the Eureka Theatre; $20. Heavy Petty: How......

We received a few messages this morning of sleeplessness regarding last night's Oracle Open World finale. Even the enchanting Stevie Nick's couldn't keep SF residents from calling the cops to ask what the hell was going on. ...

You think Hallwoeen on the Castro is a nightmare of douche-baggie proportions? Try the Oracle Open World 2007 convention, which is happening this Sunday, November 11 through Thursday, November 15. And it sucks for us plebeians. Imagine nerds and sales tools infused with a false sense of power. (Except for any Oracle SFist reader; you're all golden.) Imagine nasty Oracle PR bitches who hangup on local media outlets trying to get a modicum of......

Our concert picks for the week of 1/26-2/1. We've got two ways for you to support your favorite local artists this week. The first way is by buying Film School's latest record released this Tuesday on Beggars Banquet. Listen to some songs here and see them live at Amoeba this evening or later tonight at Bottom of the Hill (with Austin's fantastic Sound Team.) Enter to win a copy of their new album Film School......

Last week's winner, the new tabloid-style redesigned Bay Guardian. Pool of blood! Murders! Headless Body In Topless Bar! All for their 40th anniversary. Looks good -- but this type is hard to read. Various outrages in our city. And man, we thought this "Wade versus Redmond" ad on page 17 for the Third Street Gym referred to Tim Redmond. The redesign's throwing off our skim-o-tron! Cover: The SFPD ignoring Asian-American gang stabbings in the Tenderloin. And Sonic Reducer declined to go to a party with a Fleetwood Mac cover band featuring Joanna Newsom as Stevie Nicks!?!!?!??! (Well, it was raining pretty hard last week....) Making a triumphant return, the San Jose Metro!. Second Amendment advocates in San Jose use Chris Daly's own Prop H to get the right to bear arms into the state Constitution. Please, no more propositions! Haven't we learned from our mistakes of the past? Cover article: excellent Chinese subregional food in Milpitas (Darda rules). Why do alternative-rock listeners have to go all anti-Latino about the switchover at 104.9? And SFist Eve's horoscope: she should expand her spiritual life. After the jump, the two New Times publications (the Weekly and the EBX). ...

We realize you've probably got more important things to do this week than watch TV. Perhaps your shopping isn't quite done. Or maybe you still haven't packed for that trip home, much less braced yourself for the glut of family encounters ahead. So we'll keep this week's guide short, sweet, and for those who actually stay in the City over the holidays. (Not that we're complaining. The fact that no one really seems to......