Total number of people pictured in this week's Swells society column: 74. Total number of people pictured whom we recognize: 7 (after some deliberation, we decided not to include Steve Kawa because we didn't recognize him with his new haircut at all.) Minority count: 7 (9.5%). Number of pictures included in the minority count that are of Willie Brown: 4. Hats, capes, tiaras: 9, 0, 0. (SF Giants opening day skewed your hat stats a......

-The high rate of African American being arrested in San Francisco make some call for an inquiry. -Matier and Ross say Gavin's Chief of Staff, Steve Kawa, left due to burnout. We had "intern problem" in the office pool. ...

Total number of people pictured in this week's Swells society column: 67. Number of people pictured whose names we recognize: 8 (Trainas, Gettys, and figures in local politics only, including on-the-way-out Steve Kawa). Minority count: 4 (6%). Hats, capes, tiaras: 0, 0, 0 (but Gavin's hair looks a little funny). Getty v. Traina: 6-12. It's Dede Wilsey's Christmas party, that's why!!! Dede had laryngitis but wore Chanel and had the best hors d'oeuvres in town......

Breaking news on a Friday afternoon -- Gavin Newsom's chief of staff Steve Kawa has resigned. Stated reason: "I want to spend more time with my amazing family." Okay, an announcement made at 3:42 p.m. on a Friday, the spending more time with my family excuse -- obviously this is really big news! Problem is.... we have absolutely no idea what the significance of this is to the Newsom administration. Is this good for Newsom?......

Go Gavin, it's your birthday -- We gonna party like it's Gavin's birthday -- sip Bacardi like it's Gavin's birthday! Well, maybe a little too much Bacardi was sipped at Gavin's 38th birthday bash, held (where else?) at the Gettys' -- Matier and Ross are reporting that wife-on-hold Kimberly Guilfoyle had to be separated from another guest when the words got ugly. After Kimmie's triumphantly gushy toast about how she loves Gavin just as much today as she did when she first met him, word has it that Dad Guilfoyle was chatting it up with the wife of protective press secretary Peter Ragone about the status of the on-again off-again divorce, and Janine Ragone said, "sometimes the things she says in public don't come off right in the papers." Apparently Mr. Ragone hasn't been too pleased with Kim ever since that Harper's Bazaar photo spread came out. Oh, we miss those days! gossip gossip buzz buzz buzz -- word about the comment gets back to Kimbers, who apparently flips out and starts in on Mrs. Ragone. Much like the First Couple's marriage, Kim and Janine are temporarily separated, but then they somehow end up back together for "expletive-laden" round two. It gets so bad that Steve Kawa, Newsom's chief of staff, decides it would be best to just load Kim and Gavin (who apparently had absolutely no idea that any of this was going on) into a waiting car tout de suite. You think Matt Gonzalez's birthday party would have ended like this? ...