--Who owns the new East Bay Express? [the EBX's 92510] --Oh, now Newsom's all for foot patrols. [KCBS.] --The Bike Coalition and Ross Mirkarimi want lights at Fell and Masonic. [Examiner.] --Wanna pay someone to wait in line for you for an Apple iPhone? [Chron. More Chron iPhone madness here.] --Quit trying to recall people. [Beyond Chron.] --Sim art! (Picture a big green diamond over our head as our Fun bar zooms up.) [All......

There seems to be a lot of car-related news in the Chron today. Remember how everyone was so upset because it turns out that SF doesn't collect on like 60% of parking meter money? Well, the second half of the study is in and it turns out the city makes up virtually all of that difference in parking meter fines. (Thanks, opera/parking blogger The Standing Room, for helping the city balance its budget!) By contrast......

Guest review by M.C- of The Standing Room, with pictures by Civic Center's SFMike. N.B.: No one reviewing this concert, and no one posting the review of this concert has any affiliation with either Falun Gong or the People's Republic of China. When we heard about the NTDTV Chinese New Year Spectacular at the Opera House this past weekend, we were absolutely certain we knew what to expect. In our tender youth, our parents dragged......

Even the rich aren't immune from the laws of gravity -- the folks living in those multimillion dollar homes perched precariously on the edge of Telegraph Hill are all a little on edge themselves with the news of rockslides down the hill. The less-well-off who live at the bottom of the hill are probably not very happy either, but no one seems to be interviewing them. Aaron Peskin raced to the defense of his district, and can probably be seen doing many, many interviews (click on video) on your local news tonight. San Francisco officials have called for the folks at the top of the hill to hire private geologists to evaluate the stability of their homes -- but no one actually had to evacuate because it turns out that of the two houses on that part of the hill, one is unoccupied and the folks in the other are on vacation. Everyone's thinking that the slide is probably due to all that rain we've been getting, but recent construction in the area may have contributed to the general rock instability as well. Fatalistic engineers note that Telegraph Hill, like all of the city, is just going to ultimately fall into the ocean anyways (in like five billion geologic years, we hope!) And oh hey, Standing Room, you'll like this -- the only thing that got hit by the falling rock? A Cushman. Picture from KRON 4...

Okay, while we pretend to know something about everything around here, we know when we're outclassed, especially when it comes to 20th century American chamber music. So we're pleased as punch to present today's guest, M.C- of the local classical and new music (plus parking in SF) blog The Standing Room, and his thoughts on Frameline 29's screening of Ned Rorem: Words and Music. Ned Rorem certainly was a hottie. It's easy to see how this handsome, talented, literate 25-year-old American slipped comfortably into Parisian artistic and social circles of, shall we say, a certain caliber back in 1949. He lived the life of archival black-and-white photographs, and we view these images with nostalgic envy -- who wouldn't want to be an A-list fag in post-war Paris, breakfasting on croissants and café au lait under greenery like scenery on rue François Premier? Now Ned Rorem is a handsome and youthful-looking 81-year-old, and in Ned Rorem: Word and Music -- screened at Frameline on Sunday -- he joins us as a voyeur, looking back at the portrait he painted of himself in his early (and somewhat notorious) Paris diaries. Over the course of 10 years, directors James Dowell and John Kolomvakis conducted a series of interviews with this Pulitzer-winning composer, and the result is a personal introduction to a genteel, thoughtful man who is unabashedly artistic, poetic, lyrical. We watch him watch himself, and it's touchingly obvious that the reminiscences are sweet ones. Picture of Ned Rorem by Henri Cartier-Bresson...

Last week's winner, the cybersquatting Metro! The only thing that looks more obscene than the term "Sfist" is "Sjist" -- we'll leave it at that. Meet the San Jose State contemporary classical music faculty. San Jose City Tow. Cover: The Metro continues to celebrate its 20th anniversary all year! A collection of essays about San Jose and the Valley throughout the years. A variety of arts events around SJSU. And the Straight Dope: does alcohol affect your period? (maybe). Next up: The SF Weekly! A dizzying array of political gossip from Matt Smith (Fifi Ma, SEIU, and Clint Reilly). Infiltrator protests for animals. (We totally saw that "Korea: Stop Killing Man's Best Friend" protestor the other week! Maybe the guy with her was Harmon!). Asian gang gets barber licenses. A play called "I'd Kill For a Parking Space" (heads up, Standing Room!). The Weekly's at the SFIFF, just like us. Cover article: New Order. And Savage Love: tips for 16 year old straight girls. The East Bay Express, the Guardian, and the pick of the week, after the jump. ...

MUNI's bad enough -- people laden with bags moshing their way onto teeny-tiny trolley cars, a mother holding an infant and frantically clutching at your head and jacket sleeves as she attempts to cling onto a small metal bar welded to the side of a seat as the bus banks sharply left, people dying of consumption and coughing in your face -- so you think, Fine, I'll drive. Gas prices are going down, MUNI passes are going up, save yourself the stress. Well, maybe not. In the continuing saga of Newsom's "you didn't vote for my tax increases" I-Told-You-Sos, the always-beloved DPT has proposed hefty fee hikes in an attempt to balance its budget. So meters will go up by 50 cents an hour (so $1.50-2.50, depending on where you are), garages will go up by 50 cents an hour too, all parking tickets will go up by $5 (so it'll be $40 if you forget to move your car on street-cleaning day). The biggest hike: parking in a red zone or blocking an intersection goes up 200%, from $25 to $75. That operatic shriek you hear in the background is from San Francisco's parking/classical music blogger, The Standing Room. We have to say, while we're not thrilled about this, it seems only fair that, given that we're not paying higher city taxes, to share the pain equally between public transportation takers and car drivers. But we also almost never park on the street anymore either. We predict an upsurge in social activities along the BART axis as a result -- meet you guys in Glen Park! ...

Thanks to The Standing Room for the picture tip! When Friendster goes bad -- a Cupertino child molester registered on Megan's List has been arrested for contacting other listed sex offenders and asking them out. Glen Westberg allegedly emailed five other listees, told them they looked cute, and asked them to check out his listing (and note how well-built he was). We really fear for the future of social networking. Cardinals, lock the doors......

We usually save these things for the blotter, but this one can't wait until Friday. Six students and a knitting instructor at Montclair's Knitting Basket in the Montclair Village in Oakland were held up at gunpoint Monday night by a man described to be a white 60 year old homeless man missing two front teeth and carrying a camouflage-colored rifle. A witness said, "He looked very out of place at a knitting store." The suspect was also wearing (yup) a knit black hat. The police are on the lookout, and the Montclair Village security staff will escort nervous shoppers to their cars if asked. This is why we're sticking with cross-stitch. ...

Well, we just heard Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas Is You" on the radio the other day (the kickoff song for the season), so it's official -- Santa Claus will be coming to town. And with him comes an assortment of Bay Area secular holiday entertainment -- kittens in the windows of Macy's, the Kristi Yamaguchi ice-skating rink at Justin Herman Plaza, caroling children thrown out of Union Square and then shamefacedly reinvited at the command of Mayor Gavvie Gav to sing at City Hall instead..... and how could we forget? Tap-dancing Christmas trees! The Oakland Trib profiles some of the more unique Bay Area Christmas entertainers, including the 28-member strong tap-dancing Christmas tree troupe, the trumpet-playing gorilla Santa Claus (he dresses up as Vampire Gorilla for Halloween), the Incredible Hulk Santa, and the Nerd Elf, among others. And The Standing Room gives us the lowdown on the itinerate life of the seasonal Dickensian caroler. (Who knew there were four verses of Jingle Bells?) So while you're frantically trying to get all your presents purchased (maybe at some of the stores we're profiling?), don't forget to kick back for a bit and enjoy the scene -- over a cup of scammed free cider from Williams-Sonoma. Pictures courtesy of The Standing Room. Check out that sexy tap-dancing Christmas tree hip-wiggle!...

Those of you looking to support a good cause while updating those Klimt The Kiss posters you bought in college that you've still got hanging in your apartment -- you're in luck! And no, we don't mean Tower Records is having a sale on Britney Spears posters -- Visual Aid is sponsoring the 11th annual Big Deal art sale this weekend. Visual Aid is an organization devoted to supporting and encouraging the creativity of artists......

We get cultured by Monsieur C- of The Standing Room....

So what are you doing this weekend? SFist is going to catch the Oakland Opera's performance ofAkhnaten with The Standing Room....