It's "the Hanukkah Song." You know, by Adam Sandler. Except this version is by Sponge Bob Squarepants. We think the kids call this a "mash-up." more ›

Red state on blue state violence! The conservative Colorado-based group Focus on the Family (the guys who came out against SpongeBob Squarepants) has announced that it's withdrawing all its money from Wells Fargo banks because the SF-based bank gave $50,000 to GLAAD (Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Discrimination), solely off of profits made in the San Francisco area. You knew that $2 ATM surcharge fee was going someplace! Focus on the Family says it can't keep their money at a place that gives money to an organization that pledges to use funds to "fight the anti-gay industry," and has immediately withdrawn the $145 million it's stashed in the bank. Wells Fargo responds, "We absolutely made a $50,000 grant to GLAAD, and we're absolutely proud of our support for the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community." Wells Fargo also notes, though, that the donation was not specifically earmarked for fighting the anti-gay industry. Last year, Wells Fargo gave $2 million to gay and lesbian organizations. more ›

Last week's winner, the SF Weekly: Tommy Craggs, like Tony Toni Tone, has done it again! This week, he uses the Microsoft Word auto-summarizer to read last week's interminable Sean Penn in Iran articles from the Chron! Could it be that Mr. Craggs heard our desperate cries for help? In other news, Matt Smith hates on Chris Daly's Rincon Hill deal, the Infiltrator pretends to Christian rock, and the cover article's about heavy metal Thor. Savage Love: you know, if you start a letter to Dan with "I'm straight, I'm smart, I'm funny, and I'm hot," you kind of get what you deserve. Next: the Metro! RIP, Bob Moog. The war on terror seemed a little overblown in Lodi. Spongebob Squarepants at Great America! Cover: San Jose gang war. And Secret Asian Man eats your hate up like love. The Guardian and the East Bay Express after the jump, plus the pick of the week! more ›

If it seems like it's a shinier, happier world out there, it's because this week is "No Name-Calling Week." All week Middle Schools taking part in the program will teach kids that calling each other names is bad…mmmm…kay? Participating schools will receive a resource guide that includes lesson plans, a video for classroom use and other promotional materials. At the end of the week, an essay and poetry contest will be held. We're sure the kiddies will be right on that. more ›

Bay Area crime roundup more ›