Caught on tape: drunk Dolores Park guy...stealing our heart. [SFBG]Cyclist deaths on rise. [Left in SF]Bay Area nurses prepare to stage a 10-day walkout. [SJ Merc]Uncultured Yelpers love $1 bag of anything. [Eater] SXSW "Valleywag]Have you been featured on Muni hot or not of the now? Well, have you? [Nature abhors a vacuum]......

Reiser takes the stand. [SFGate]71 MIles goes to Tijuana, interviews pimp. [71Miles]XOXO, God Damn [Nature abhors a vacuum]Sweet Melissa has a request. [SM]Hilary Swank Horseface bandannas are adorable. [SFBG]Sea salt-glazed chocolate tile, anyone? [CHOW]The heat is on in Little Saigon. (Sorry, but you saw that coming.) [SJ Merc]......

This year's Stanford commencement speaker? Oprah Winfrey. [SJ Merc]The Spots goes eHarmony-ish on us. [Spots]Milk screenplay writer Dustin Lance Black looks ten-years-old. We mean that as a compliment. [BAR]A street lamp dies, another night is over, the big cat exhibit reopens... [SFGate]With the return of Tyra's mildly-retarded ass comes Potes totally brilliant ANTM recaps. [TWOP]Meow: Harvey Milk Club prez Rafael Mandelman goes after Leno, Newsom. [BeyondChron]......

Ed Jew resigns today. [Examiner]Miraculous reservations at French Laundry. [Chowhound] Protecting the Presidio from Don Fisher. [FCJ] Dede, will you buy us this house, then? Come on! [Curbed] Tiger victim claims, " 'We didn't do nothing.' " [SFGate] Suspect in the beating death of Jessica Leona Birden, found alongside an Oakland trail on 1/1, in court today. [Oakland Tribune] Schwarzenegger's budget to cut education, release prisoners, and close parks. [SJ Merc] Sir Edmund Hillary......

Glass race to the top! (Our money is on the Millennium.) [Curbed] SF Zoo's cat wall too short. [SFGate] 22-Fillmore zaniness. [FCN] SF hearts Ron Paul. For some reason. (Another election? But we just haaaaad one.) [SFBG] Best Rincon Hill(-ish) venues in which to catch the NYE fireworks display. [Rincon Hill SF] NYE eating options. Chomp. [Eater] Dennis Herrera set to fight for SF's recently blocked health coverage. [SFGate] SF health plan illegal? [The......

Congratulations, Oakland (29th), Fremont (32nd), and San Francisco (34th) -- you made it on the top 50 drunkest cities in the U.S. list. At least, according to the December issue of the body dysmorphia-inducing rag Men's Health Magazine. The rankings are based on alcohol-related liver deaths, "binge drinking data compiled by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention," FBI-culled drunk driving arrest numbers, death-related auto accidents that involved booze, and "grades given to cities......

-- Chicken John hosts the Loser's Ball. Which a lot progressives did. Lose, that is. [Politics Blog] -- Although Prop A might pass due to prog efforts. (See where horizontal pastels get you, Mr. Fisher?) [BeyondChron] -- Washington Packing Corporation's abandoned, graffitied tuna cannery. [WhatImSeeing] -- Bay Bridge fender bender spills "mysterious" oil into the Bay. [Oakland Tribune] -- Henry K. Lee live-blogs, as they say, on the Hans Reiser murder trial! [SFGate] --......

-- Girls soccer coach suspended after mooning (i.e.., "exposing his buttocks to" [hee]) his opponents. [SFGate] -- Niners' Nolan stands by his QB, Alex Smith. Aw. Also, "at least the Niners didn't get shutout." (Dude. Ouch.) [Examiner, SJ Merc] -- Increasing lack of loyalty over at Yahoo. [ValleyWag] -- Neither heavy nor metal, Metallica went acoustic/funk at the Bridge School Benefit. [SJ Merc] -- 1 dead, 2 hospitalized after shootings in the city of......

-- Ross Mirkarimi, sole supe against Clear Channel. [SFBG] -- Out-of-town drug dealers bring their goofballs and china white to SF. [Examiner] -- Stupid TV can't ever get us right, or so says the Streets of San Fauxcisco. [Culture Blog] -- San Jose kills cigarette smoking at city parks. [SJ Merc] -- SF is numero uno according to Conde Nast Traveller. [The Snitch] -- And yet we can't crack the top-ten as a prime......

-- Oh noes: local homes sales are in the crapper. [SJ Merc] -- Sex assault charged against Sacto Kings player Justin Williams. [CBS5] -- More lighted landmarks to shutdown during Saturday's Lights Out SF. [Examiner] -- Suing Ed Jew. [SFGate] -- Jon Stewart and Daily Show confusion. [BeyondChron] -- Not guilty plea in Bailey murder. [Oakland Tribune] -- Gayrab party. Ha! Get it? Yeah. Anyway, check out Bibi this Saturday at Club Eight. [SFBG]......

-- Explanation for last night's brief Bay Bridge light outage. [Oakland Tribune] -- Need a home in the Mission? And you're a web ninja and/or hacker? And a bit of an arsonist? Well, then you're in luck! [CraigsList] -- Police are on the lookout for a former South Bay man, Christopher Melvin Holland, for a 1983 rape and murder. [SFGate] -- Oakland environmental group claims that iPhones contain reproductive toxins. And yet, we still......

-- Fog City Notes has a crush. Also, our favorite Little Debbie outlet, Rainbo discount bread store, is closed. Dude. [Fog City Notes] -- Castro residents are scared poopless want more info about safety regarding Halloween night. [SFGate] -- SOMA fire "sends residents fleeing." Yikes! [Examiner] -- Surprise, surprise. The N-Judah was down today. [N-Judah Chronicles] -- Nauseatingly pimped Lexus sedan crashes into building. [Oakland Tribune] -- Beyond Chron has issues with Proposition 93.......

-- Have you seen this man? (Also, we think that we have that same shirt in our closet. Yipes!) [Chron] -- Meet Jose Alfredo and Olga Contreras, parents teetering on the brink of homelessness while trying to make a life in SF. [Examiner] -- More on Lights Out. [The Snitch] -- "Animal Rites" for your perusal. [SFBG] -- At last....mansion Deco Duel! (We want the one on the right.) [Curbed SF] -- Google all......

-- Some very sad news: former SFist editor, writer, and gem of an all-around guy, Jeremy Nisen, switched addresses for now. Aw. But never fear, you can still catch his brilliance over at Curbed. Yay! [Curbed SF] -- We get introduced to a new KTVU personality heading to the Bay Area. Because you just can't stop on-air talent. Ever. [Culture Blog] -- AM shooting in the TL takes the life of teenager. [Examiner] --......

-- Good God, Genesis (alas, the band) is back. [BeyondChron] -- HA! Even bunnies know that square-mouthed Giada De Laurentiis is a wee bit porn-y at times. [CHOW] -- San Leandro teen killed in car crash on (the) 680. [Chron] -- Gap laptop stolen along with the personal data of over 800,000 retail queens. Whoops. [Examiner] -- Party poopers: Apple brings down the hammer on hacked iPhones. (Dear AT&T, Hate you much. xo, us)......

-- Gargantuan steroid sting nabs two Bay Area brothers. [SJ Merc] -- PC World editor's suspected killers could receive death sentences. [Chron] -- Marines banned from filming commercial in SF. [FOX] -- Another attempt to ban the Blue Angels proves unsuccessful. Sorry, Chris. [CBS5] -- Speaking of Board of Supes, someone done got suspended/replaced. [ABC7] -- Death of an lILWU longshoreman results in Oakland port's closure for the day. [Oakland Tribune] -- Chloe Veltman......

-- Cammerin Boyd killed by reasonable force, says jury. [Chron] -- Behold: the 54 million dollar SF home. Bow down before it, plebeians and renters! [CurbedSF] -- Argentina hosts the gay World Cup of soccer. Maricons can play sports? Well, that tears it. [Chron, via AP] -- Ed Jew fights to keep his seat on the board of supervisors. Sigh. [Examiner] -- Castro getting all atwitter over this year's Halloween. And we're all gonna die!!......

-- San Mateo Bridge shuts down, then opens. Ta-da. [Examiner] -- Dan Noyes on Jerry Lucas, the sanity-estranged man who followed a then-pregnant Jill Rabinowitz into her garage, severely beating her with a can of paint. He might soon get sprung from the funny farm. [ABC7] -- Streets such as "Van Ness Avenue, Broadway...Harrison Street" and more could turn into toll roads under a proposed city plan to ease traffic congestion. [Chron] -- Viggo......

-- Did you call your district supervisor to halt the Blue Angels today? Neither did we. [IndyBay] -- Obama was here, or something. [BeyondChron, Oakland Tribune] -- San Francisco's Next Top Transbay Terminal. [Chron] -- San Jose mom allows boyfriend to murder her six-year-old son, helps him bury son. [SJ Merc] -- Your local alt weeklies weigh in on Britney's depressing performance. Sigh. [ASD, SFBG] -- McGoldrick all cranky about advertising on or near the......

Larry Craig's police interrogation audio -- Senator Larry Craig still a lying homosexual. [Examiner, via AP] -- Tony Hall calls it quits. [Chron] -- Jackson West's last column for now. Good luck on the other coast, Jackson! Weep, weep. [Chron Blog] -- Harvey Milk Club hearts Tommy Ammiano and Kamala Harris. Of course. [Left in SF] -- Cupertino/Stevens Creek Canyon fire contained. [SJ Merc] -- BM suicide. [Chron Blogs] -- AIDS housing advocates and......

-- Tzssss: Golden Gate Bridge gets branded. (They won't really have billboards on the bridge, but who would want to see tasty Pizza Rolls high above, or why Sally Field stays so ramrod straight?) [Chron] -- Castro is now dead, says Perez. No, not the Castro. Although that neighborhood [insert your own joke here]. [SFBG, via PH] -- Man killed by J-Church on Thursday identified as John O'Neill, 47. RIP, dude. [Chron] -- What will......

-- Paranoia, feeding faux stories, and NYT's Laura Albert (AKA Miss Leroy) article. Depressing is right, Rita. [CultureBlog] -- Newsom defends Halloween shutdown. [BAR] -- San Francisco's other (but not nearly as stellar!) Matty. [BeyondChron] -- Pssst. We heard a rumor that the Bay Bridge will close during Labor Day Weekend. Pass it around. [511] -- Mandy Moore at the Fillmore. Eeeeeeeeee! [SF Weekly] -- SFBG's political art of the week. (Yay, Kool-Aid guy!)......

We've got some follow-up news on Blotter items covered previously! In response to allegations by deceased Stanford engineering grad student May Zhou's father earlier this week that his daughter's death was a homicide and not self-inflicted, the Santa Rosa police released additional information from their investigation. Namely, they said they have videotape and receipts of her buying four bottles of sleeping pills from local drugstores in two days, and they have an email she sent......

-- Sixth Street did not explode. [Chron] -- Neither did Hayward. [CBS5] -- Friday's party for Barry, Bonds/Newsom connection. [GNS] -- Pigeon crap on bridges falling down, falling down, falling down... [Chron] -- Microsoft going after Yahoo? [EWEEK] -- On-air chats with Jessica Aguirre, who already knows how much you want to fuck her with your monster cock, gentlemen, so go easy on her. [Chron] -- Alleged San Mateo blue square to stand trial.......

-- Heklina (writing for SF Weekly again) on our newly crowned drag king. [The Snitch] -- Something or other about the state budget. [SJ Merc] -- Oakland man murdered on his birthday while being a good Samaritan. Suspect still at large, or on their way to the ninth circle of hell. [Chron] -- Bonds' 756th homer ball goes up for auction. [Examiner] -- Devaughndre Broussard: soooo the fall guy. [Oakland Tribune] -- Bernal Heights......

-- Large Lake Tahoe fire under control. [Oakland Tribune, via AP] -- Small Presidio fire controlled, injures no one. [Examiner, via BCN] -- Two SF hit-and-runs kill two. [Chron] -- Carlos Cruz, 25, shot and killed in the Excelsior. [Chron] -- How green is their Valley? [SJ Merc] -- Steven T. Jones' good call on the Chronicle's Burning Man article. [SFBG]......

-- 8.8-foot-long Smart Fortwo cars in SF. Squash. [Chron] -- No surprise: Gap Inc. sales suck. (Hint: Burn all billboards promoting horizontal pastels.) [Examiner] -- Hayward murder-suicide.[Chron] -- Barry Bonds bash. [Examiner] -- Wall Street went up and down a lot today, or something. [Chron] -- Hey! If it ain't the ol' pro-Blue Angels switcheroo. [BeyondChron] -- Devaughndre Broussard asked to take the fall? [ABC 7, Oakland Tribune] -- RIAA brings their silly war......

-- John officially wants SF throne. So does Josh. [Laughing Squid, JW] -- Dublin-Pleasanton BART station closure times, dates. (Our apologies for posting this unforgivably late.) [BART, Chron] -- Pirates beat Giants. Arrr, indeed. [Examiner] -- Fish sandwiches and bean pies: what could have been but never was. [Chron] -- 12 shootings in 24 hours in the city of Richmond. [ABC 7] -- Friday's gunfire in SF threatens the lives of two. [Chron] --......

- The Alcatraz Challenge Aquathlon's motto "Swim or Die" proves literal after a competitor dies during race. [Chron, Examiner] -- Police get Devandre (or Devaughndre) Broussard -- 19-year-old handyman and a UC youth program award-winner, no less! -- to confess to Chauncey Bailey's murder. [Chron] -- Bonds ties Hank Aaron's homerun record on Saturday, sits out Sunday's game loss. [CBS5, Chron, SJ Merc] -- Oakland kills. [Chron, Oakland Tribune]......

--Here's today's mini-blotter: a family murder-suicide in Tilden Park; Man hit by a BART train at Balboa Park in the late morning today; a guy drove off the side of Mount Tam [Inside Bay Area, the EBX 92510, the Chron; CBS 5; Marin IJ]. --They're laying people off at the Merc News too? [SFBG Politics Blog]. --A blogger gets sued for defamation in small claims court by a journalist who didn't like, among other things,......