-- Grilled Cheese Invitational : What's better than a grilled cheese sandwich? Nothing, that's what. (Our apologies go out to all and any lactose-intolerant readers. You live a life of heartache we can only imagine.) This competition, though, will feature ingredients ranging from Kraft Singles (yum!) to truffle butter, brie, rice, and more. Starts at 8:30 p.m. at Eli's Mile High Club, Oakland; $5. -- Edward Gorey's Dracula: Guests are encouraged to wear Gorey-inspired......

Because we are no good at doggerel, we are going to decline what would otherwise be an extremely tempting way to write up this post and not write it in rhyming couplets. That's right -- local theater troupe Rhyme Time Theater is presenting Race Is A Lie, a play about race relations in the SFPD. Written in rhyming iambic pentameter. (To refresh you from high school English class, that's a sentence with the pattern da-DUM......

-- The A’s: Oakland play at home against the Baltimore Orioles. Game starts at 7:05 p.m. at McAfee Coliseum; $9-$44. -- "Blow-Up": DJ Jefrodisiac and Emily Betty’s "indie-pop-disco-noir" (noir?) monthly dance club brings out hipsters of every ilk. But that doesn’t mean that you still can’t have a good time. Vin Sol & Morse Code, the Lovemakers (DJ set), Codebreaker, and Disco Nat make special guest appearances, and resident DJ Richie Panic and MC......

Except for Mark Jackson, ACT, and a bushel of other playhouses we’re totally forgetting, sometimes it’s hard to find theatrical events in San Francisco that hit hard without leaning on antagonizing political bullshit or outrageousness in sequins. Carlo D’Amore’s hyper and “semi-autobiographical” No Parole does just that. Why? Well, it’s got cocaine! It’s got a Peruvian diva-like matriarch! It’s got riches-to-rags immigrants! It’s got a faultless one-man performance! It’s got the disenfranchised and the......

Some do think of theater as church, but these would be some of the most entertaining services around....