1. "A truly great breakup song should be filled with so much rage that the subject could include it as Exhibit A in his or her restraining order." Hartlaub cites "You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morisette as an example, which -- try as we might -- we couldn't beat. We'd be lying if we said we haven't sung this song once or twice in our car, at the top of our lungs, with the windows rolled up.

2. "A good breakup song should also cycle wildly between moments of false sincerity, emotional instability and self-pity." Hartlaub goes with "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover" by Paul Simon. Well, if Hartlaub is going to start off with pop musician Alanis Morisette, then we'll keep going with that and pull out Lily Allen's "Smile" as an example of this. Allen cycles between self-pity, crazy "...you messed up my mental health" and some serious, serious schadenfreude.

3. "Groveling is another hallmark of great breakup music." Phil Collins' "Against All Odds" is the clear winner here. We cry on the inside when we hear this song.

Altogether, we thought Hartlaub's five picks were great. Personally, we used to cry ourselves to sleep with anything Coldplay, especially "Warning Sign" before we moved onto "Angry Breakup Music." Like listening to Linkin Park's Hybrid Theory while running furiously on a treadmill at the gym, post-breakup. Err. But we digress.

Picture from pawpaw67.

Anyway, as far as we can tell, if you live in Marin and work in Contra Costa, or vice versa, you can't get home because

1) The Richmond Bridge is blocked by a semi
2) 101 is closed in both directions right where it intersects with 580
3) Park Presidio is closed at Lake because of falling trees
4) Doyle is flooded

Unless, of course, you take the windy Napa road. Might as well stock up on vending machine food, commuters! Be safe out there...