If you've noticed over the past couple of days, it's smells a bit smoky, a bit ashy in Baghdad by the Bay. It seems, according to CBS 5, Northern California is suffering from about 950 wildfire right now.The top half of the state is, in essence, on fire. Yikes! So far, Carmel Valley residents have been forced from their homes due to the massive blaze in the Los Padres National Forest over in Monterey......

Last night's five-alarm wildfire in the San Bruno Mountains, which threatened homes in South San Francisco, has been 75 percent as of this morning. The crisp weather and fog -- which has mercifully killed this past weekend's vile heatwave -- has helped firefighters attack the blaze successfully. A total of 300 acres have been scorched so far. Brisbane residents who were asked to evacuate their home were allowed to return just before midnight last......

Alas, it was not a good weekend for cyclists of the Bay Area. The sheriff's deputy that accidentally crashed into three cyclists in Cupertinio over the weekend -- a collision that killed Olympic hopeful 31-year-old Kristy Gough of Oakland (the third-fastest, non-professional women's triathlete in the world); and 30-year-old Matt Peterson of San Francisco -- has been identified as 27-year-old James Council. A deputy at the West Valley Patrol Division of Santa Clara County,......

We hate shit like this. 66-year-old Santa Clara ice cream man Santokh Singh Sajan made some dirty comments to underage ice cream patrons the others day. Sounds bad, right? And according to the Merc: Sajan allegedly made sexually inappropriate comments to two teenage girls, police said. He was booked Tuesday on charges of three counts of annoying a child - misdemeanors, according to police. The ice cream vendor, who drives white van that plays......

Yesterday's near perfect weather is now but a sepia-toned memory. Reports of a strange, icy substance, often referred to as "snow," is falling on Mount Diablo, Mount Hamilton in Santa Clara County, Mount Hamilton, and (any minute now) Mount Tam. It's also blanketing the eerie Santa Cruz Mountains, resulting in the closure of Highway 9. It looks like many of you will have to take Highway 17. If you dare. Oh, and be sure......

Here's what's been going on in the wide world of sports while we've been fighting off the flu......

According Eric Thomas from ABC 7, who went into mighty graphic detail about what happened, a suspect was arrested today for the kidnapping and rape of a 17-year-old Palo Alto teen. A press conference is scheduled at noon (now!), where even more details, names will surely unfold. This past Wednesday a teen was kidnapped in Palo Alto, taken to Sunnyvale (on the 500 block of Fair Oaks Avenue), and then sexually assaulted. She survived......

At Pine and Divisadero on Wednesday afternoon, a man severely slashed a woman with a box cutter (some reports we saw said she might die, while others said the wounds were not life-threatening); the cops subsequently caught him. A police officer in Oakland shot a man to death yesterday afternoon at 54th and MLK, where a number of shootings have occurred recently. The officer confronted the man for reasons that they declined to specify to......

-- Democrat fundraiser Norman Hsu is on the run! [Chron, KGO] -- Fred Thompson to run for Prez. [CBS5] -- Now more than ever before, San Diego sucks. [CBS5] -- Cruising, it seems, also sucks. [SFBG] -- More and more murder. (Weren't we guaranteed something about a murder-rate reduction last year?) [Chron] -- Santa Clara fire stills rages. [KRON4] -- History of the Cadillac Hotel at Eddy and Leavenworth. [BeyondChron] -- Vallejo giraffe dead.......

Offside! Penalty -- three months. Any talk of the Niners moving from San Francisco down to Santa Clara is before the snap (did we get our convoluted football metaphor right? SFist Jon's out on vacation this week so we can't check), now that the City of Santa Clara's experienced yet more delays in completing the required feasibility study about how they're going to raise their $160 million share for the stadium. The study was supposed......

A four-year-old boy drowned to death in the 2-foot deep section of the wave pool at Great America in Santa Clara yesterday. There were six lifeguards on duty at the time, but there are no age limits on who can use the pool. Authorities have not identified the boy, or said whether or not he was supervised at the time of the accident. This is the first drowning at Great America but not the first......

We always thought that a story regarding an organization called "welovejam.com" would be NSFW. But this is actually pretty innocent. These two fellows, Eric Haeberli and Phineas Hoang, started an operation in the Santa Clara Valley with a very simple concept. See, there's apricot called the Blenheim that's been proclaimed to be endangered by Slow Food USA. It's very fragile. Haeberli and Hoang are trying to preserve this flavor in the form of preserves. Jam. They make the Blenheim into jam. ...

--Have you checked out the footage (above, 4:34) of someone driving their Prius into the N Judah tunnel? The derisive laughter as the driver sheepishly gets out of the car is awesome. Also, the title of the YouTube clip (Judah's Prius) is genius. (We don't know how to get rid of those white edges on that YouTube screen.) [N Judah Chronicles.] --Hey! There's an update on the dude who flipped over the hit-and-run guy's......

--What with all the excitement about the arrest warrant for Ed Jew, we didn't get a chance to tell you about how just about 50 miles away, the Santa Clara DA's office had to drop the charges they brought against the now-former mayor of San Jose. (Overzealous.) --GASP!!! The Oakland Zoo's about to get two pandas!!!! --Sex for grades? --John McCain, Bill Richardson, and Barack Obama were in the area today. --Hybrids aren't clogging......

Last week's winner: the SJ Metro . Cover article: San Jose Pride - family day in the park on Saturday, Gay Rodeo, Women's Music Festival this weekend. A new queer nightclub in downtown San Jo. Problems with contracting for paratransit at Santa Clara County Transit VTA . Annalee Newitz on notableness on Wikipedia. The Ann Arbor Film Festival at Foothill College. And now for our frontrunner, the SF Weekly, big trouble at the Culinary Academy......

--A day of physical activity! Bikers set off for LA for the AIDS ride, and those not content just to bike did the Escape from Alcatraz triathlon. --Barack Obama was in town. --Santa Clara would like to have the Niners, but it'll be expensive. --Airport news: there was an emergency landing in Oakland, and a guy with measles came through SFO. --Who should run for mayor against Gavin Newsom? --They redesigned the Chron Sunday Magazine.......

--Meet Tapioca Ed's "consultant" friend. --They're raising water rates in the city. Guess who doesn't care about that? --The Macarthur Maze is set to reopen tomorrow. --15 goats (used to reduce fire risk) were shot in the Oakland Hills. A reward is being offered for information. --There's fallout from the Santa Clara DA's decision not to prosecute a group of DeAnza students for a possible attempted gang rape. --More information about the woman who died......

Hey -- more free ice cream! This one's not left to chance, like that whole "Dreyer's" thing. Anyone and everyone that shows up at Haagen-Dazs on May 15 between 4 p.m. and 8 p.m. gets a free cone. The only caveat? It must be one of the company's special new flavors, "cinnamon dulce de leche," or "sticky toffee pudding."...

--They tore down that house everyone's laughing about. --The Niners got San Francisco to cough up money originally intended for parks to go to fixing up Monster Park instead. They're just going to move to Santa Clara anyways, guys! --Mission Bay bores Chron architecture critic John King. --Fiona Ma sponsors legislation to make it easier for, say, Gavin Newsom to change his name to Gavin Newsom-Siebel. --Aaaaaaa-choo! --The SF Sentinel's photo tips. Also, they......

Here's today's news...

On Tuesday, the 49ers unveiled their shiny new plan for a stadium in Santa Clara. The whole thing will cost about $854 million with Santa Clara pitching in what is said to be $160 million, although Santa Clara still might have to throw down for another $20 million to move the substation that's on the grounds of the proposed stadium. The rest of the money, $694 million, will come partially from the Niners ($363.3 million) and partially through the usual assortment of things, mainly naming rights and fan gouging. ...

Here's todays news...

There's a heated and productive conversation happening over in our earlier post about Muni's dangerous plan to get bus-mounted cameras with optional bayonets and gatling guns. One of the best comments (and we really do mean one of the best -- other commenters have busied themselves with some delightfully implausible logic) has evoked the memory of Orson Welles, seen in the above video endorsing a Santa Clara winery. Enjoy!......

One of our favorite episodes of "the Simpsons" is the monorail episode, the one where some con artist (voiced by the late, great Phil Hartman) convinces Springfield that the one thing they need to do to put themselves on the map is a monorail. Of course, it all goes to pot when the guy takes off with some of the money and Homer somehow manages to become the monorail's conductor. So what does this have to do with the 49ers? Because at a meeting yesterday with the Santa Clara City Council, a consultant hired by the 49ers painted such a rosy picture of what would happen if Santa Clara builds them a stadium, we can't but help think about the episode. ...

Here's todays recap of the news...

There's a big story in the Chron this morning over the conflict between the SFPD and the DA's office over prosecuting crime in the city. Basically, the cops are frustrated because the DA's office rarely prosecutes anything. The result is a lot of repeat offenders out there repeating offenses. In the story, the Chron even details how some of the shootings we've seen recently are done by people who have been in-and-out of jail and got off relatively easy. ...

-New 49ers plan to include new ways of getting to the area. The plan is also geared to be more for Bayview than the 49ers. -Meanwhile, in Santa Clara, the San Francisco 49ers could be the new Enron. - The Chron gives a pro and con side to the Golden Gate enclosure. -C.W. Nevius reviews Gavin's trip to the Chron. -Chris Daly wants to take budget surplus and use it for more housing. -Bay Bridge......

San Francisco unveiled some shiny new plan to win back the affections of the Niners yesterday. The plan includes a redevelopment of Candlestick Point and Hunters Point and features a new stadium for the Niners, lots of parks, lots of housing, office space and a new arena. Best part? Supposedly the plan means no money down for the city. So far, there is no truth to the rumors that the plan also includes lots of shiny, pretty ponies for everybody to have. ...

The Giants are installing solar panels right outside WhateverTheyWantToCallItNow Park......

Here's todays wrap up of the news...