Well, we knew it was a possibility, but it's still a little sad: Those baby swans at the Palace of Fine Arts we told you about on Wednesday appear to have been consumed by a turtle, owl, or big-mouth fish.

The two young swans, who hatched a week ago today, had managed to duck their own demise once by emerging even after their caretaker had swapped their mom's eggs for some ceramic look-alikes to keep her from reproducing. However, it appears that there are things in the world more ruthless than a couple of pottery eggs, as the cygnets disappeared late this week, likely the meal of a bigger, badder animal in the area, the Chron reports.

Though Palace of Fine Arts swans have been slain by the hand of man in the past, Gayle Haggerty, their caretaker, seems to believe that this time the culprit is a natural predator. "I don't think it's foul play," Haggerty told the Chron (which admirably restrained itself from any "foul/fowl" puns). "It's a dangerous time for (the cygnets)."

In any case, Haggerty and her colleagues would have had to find the young swans somewhere else to go relatively soon, as by this time next year, their dad, named "Blue Boy," would have tried to kill them. It's hard out there for a young swan!

At the risk of ripping off your scabs without giving the wounds time to heal, here's a 15-minute YouTube conspiracy theory video about how the NFL rigged the NFC Championship in favor of the Seahawks. It's chock full of intrigue and/or utter nonsense.

It begins:

NFL has been fixing games since the early 2000s. Players and coaches are not involved, only league officials. Public interest in the NFL is at an all time high, and the past few seasons have seen record TV ratings in several of the playoff games. The incentive to "create" the best possible games is too great for the NFL to pass up.

All of the players and the game being played are of course real, but the outcomes of certain games are "steered" in the desired direction, often in the biggest games. Sometimes the NFL fails when attempting to fix a game, when the desired winner loses, even though all the calls go against them... But usually they are successful.

The NFC championship was decided on the final play. If a team makes ONE MORE PLAY than the other team, usually that team is the winner.

In this game, the team that made far MORE plays was the loser.

Wheels within wheels, man. Wheels within wheels.

While YouTube runneth over with inane conspiracy videos, this one's garnered more than 100,000 views, most likely from scores of Niners fans who should probably just move on at this point. Anyway, the video:

#PHOTO just in shows stranded fin whale that died at Stinson Beach in Marin County http://t.co/Tj8heJlUlW pic.twitter.com/CuDSupqHVV

— NBC Bay Area (@nbcbayarea) August 19, 2013

Perhaps your editor's own beachtown-background saddles us with a deep affection for whales, but we're crestfallen to report that a finback that washed up on Stinson Beach today has died.

The whale, reportedly alive when it rolled up near Walla Vista in Stinson Beach, became beached Monday morning. Some blood was spotted on it as well, according to reports. And "despite crews trying to push it back into the salty waters of the Pacific Ocean," NBC Bay Area notes, the whale was pronounced dead at 11 a.m.

The Chronicle reports: "Locals and tourists flocked to the beach to see the stranded creature. Whales are often spotted cavorting in the waves but are seldom seen up close, particularly under such unhappy circumstances."

Beached whales are an uncommon occurrence at Stinson.

RIP, big guy.

[NBC]
[Chron]

A pair of windsurfers and a boat commuter (!) banded together Monday evening to rescue a dog found paddling frantically in the middle of the Bay. The pup, a labrador mix or mastiff, was spotted by real estate investor Ed Coyne and attorney John Newman, who were windsurfing in the cold waters off Treasure Island.

"At first, we couldn't tell whether it was a baby seal or what," Newman told the Chronicle. "Then we saw it was a dog."

Coyne paddled over to the struggling pooch and lifted her by the scruff of the neck onto his board, where she appeared grateful to be rescued. They flagged down Adam Cohen, an engineer who commutes across the Bay in an inflatable boat, who then took her home to Berkeley with him to recuperate.

No word yet on how the puppy ended up stranded or whether Larry Ellison is behind the incident. So far, no one has come forward as the dog's owner, and vets couldn't find an ID chip to identify her. If you have any information on the dog's owners, call Katie Corrigan at 510-225-4545.

For now, the pup is safe at the home of Cohen and wife Lisa Grodin. "The dog follows me everywhere," she told the Chronicle. "She is so sweet. She's lovely."

Previously: Billionaire Yachtsman's Cheating Team Ordered To Return America's Cup Trophies

[SFGate]

It should have been a great idea. It is a great idea. Take that unforgettable moment last year when the heavens opened and Giants second baseman Marco Scutaro spread his arms wide in the pouring rain to celebrate the Giants' NLCS victory, and turn it into a collector's item that fans could cherish for a lifetime.

We got really into the idea back in January, but now? We're not so sure. That moment of unadulterated joy has been duly packaged, and now it sort of feels less like an iconic moment in history and more like a small jar of sadness. It's called the Scutaro RainGlobe, and we're don't really know what to make of it.

The Giants are touting the RainGlobe as a triumph of social media and giving them away to fans on their July 26 Social Media Night (it makes sense once you watch the video below, which frames a heroic story arc whereby the RainGlobe went from fan idea to Twitter phenom to reality). But are we the only ones who see something undeniably forlorn about this particular giveaway item?

Maybe it's the sparse drip, drip, drip, of water, reminiscent not so much of last year's victories than of the many tears shed by Giants fans this season. Maybe it's the vitality of Scutaro's gesture trapped inside that diminutive container like Han Solo in carbonite. Or maybe it's just the fact that the Giants season has just hit rock bottom when they were, less than a year ago, on top of the world, laughing in the face of the storm.

So is the Scutaro RainGlobe the cubicle accessory of the season or just a depressing reminder of how far we've fallen? We leave the final verdict to you, discerning members of Giants nation.

The Merritt Bakery in Oakland, popular especially with the elderly but embraced by hipsters too, is closed today after an early morning fire that started in a storage room at the rear of the restaurant. It's the latest in a series of mishaps for the 63-year-old diner, which nearly went out of business three years ago before a series of loans from the City of Oakland.

Also, in 2011, the Merritt was hit with a lawsuit from a former line cook who claimed he was fired after suffering an epileptic seizure on the job. And in 2006, they suffered an electrical fire, but reopened following that.

The fire, as the Chronicle reports today, started after closing, around 2:45 a.m., and was under control within an hour. The photo above show the extent of the damage, which extends to the second floor offices and roof.

Owners Patricia and Charlie Griffis say they hope to reopen, but obviously the damage will need to be assessed, and who knows what the insurance situation is like after the restaurant claimed to be $800,000 in debt as of 2010.

The Merritt Restaurant and Bakery opened in 1952, next to Lake Merritt, at 203 East 18th Street.

[Tribune]
[Chron]

That was fast. Much like your friend who gets sent home drunk before the party even begins, Golden Gate Fields has prematurely cancelled its All-You-Can-Drink Saturday special. As we reported Wednesday, Golden Gate Fields was set to premiere 'Bottomless Saturdays' this week in an effort to attract a younger clientele to the racetrack. But the $30 ticket, which was to include unlimited well drinks from noon to 5 p.m. on Saturday, was yanked "in acknowledgement of the concerns of some of its employees and some members of the community", namely, that five+ drinks over the course of an afternoon might actually not be a good thing.

“We are here to entertain the community, and if they get upset, then we are going to take their concerns seriously — and that’s what we have done,’’ Golden Gate Fields marketing boss Dan Cirimele said, according to the Chronicle. “We are not in business to upset anybody."

Come anywhere near Dollar Day and then we'll see about getting upset.

[SF Gate]

Cruelty, thy name is a gorgeous Wednesday.

Today is the day we give you permission to defriend and unfollow with impunity anyone who boasts or brags about being outside on this gorgeous April day. Any and all photos of blatant lollygagging and/or frolicking at the park shall be shunned, unshared, and unliked. May a riptide nip at your toes if you dare post evidence of your picturesque day at Ocean Beach.

Temperatures are expected to reach the mid 70s. Record-breaking temps, perhaps. Look back at SFist today, around noon-ish, when we will publish the best places in SF in which to enjoy the outdoors.

Now get back to work.

Two more Bay Area residents have lost their lives while in Hawaii. Best friends Adam Griffiths, 46, and Brian Baker, 47, were hiking with Griffiths' fiancée Jennifer Kwong on the rocky north shore of Kauai when a wave swept Baker out to sea. Griffiths dove in to rescue him, only to drown himself.

Baker lived in Vallejo and was a triathlete and music therapist for children.

Griffiths, a native of Australia, lived with Kwong in San Francisco. He was a manager at a mobile app company.

The two friends were described as kindred spirits who often took trips together.

Thankfully, unlike they did with a similarly tragic incident in Hawaii in 2011, the commenters on SFGate have mostly behaved themselves. Or perhaps someone over there is finally moderating the comments to tamp down the people who think the internet needs their bile.

[Chron]

Previously: San Anselmo man killed while sightseeing in Hawaii [Chron]

Terrible news today. One half of the iconic Brown twins died on Wednesday night. Vivian Brown passed in her sleep at an assisted care facility in the city. She was 85. According to the Chronicle, "Brown suffered from Alzheimer's disease, her twin, Marian Brown, told the Chronicle in August, when the pair were facing their first extended time apart in decades. Vivian Brown fell in July and was admitted into doctors' care, where she remained until her death."

Her sister, Marian, is obviously bereft as this was the person to whom she was closest her entire life. Neither of the sisters married and remained symbols of San Francisco via TV and commercial appearances. In August, Vivian was hospitalized, which prompted many fans to offer donations to the cash-strapped pair who relied on Social Security.

The sisters were born and raised in Michigan, where they attended graduated as co-valedictorians in 1945, giving the valedictory speech together. They even earned matching degrees in business education from Western Michigan University and left for San Francisco in 1970 where they both found work as secretaries at downtown businesses.

I can only hope that Marian makes it through this exceptionally tough time. On a personal note, I enjoyed seeing the pair around town, whether it be on the 30-Stocktoin (saw them twice on it!) or at Uncle Vito's Pizza. As one half of a twin myself, I know that the bond between twin siblings can be pretty intense and is always profound. Sad day, folks.

Feel free to share with us your Brown sisters encounter. Seems like they were the last local color of the female variety in this town.

Below, footage from 1997 of Vivian and Marian Brown from the Westfield Shopping Mall.

Please don't call in a 5150, concerned readers, but we don't want to live in a world with no Marlena's, Hayes Valley's single greatest bar, gay or otherwise. Why, just last Friday your editor and a dear friend guzzled several rounds of (strong) vodka-based cocktails there, singing along to Wilson Phillips and Fleetwood Mac before blacking out a short time later. (The same just cannot be done at popular, raucous-free artisan cocktail bars.)

According to Grub Street, the bar was bought and will close soon. How soon? Well, according to the bar manager with whom SFist spoke with on Wednesday, it will shutter during the first week of March. Sad. Very sad. Soon gay bars will be things of the past; tourists attractions that people will pay to visit along Castro between 18th and 17th. "What's a frozen Cosmo," they'll ask.

Why is Marlena's so important, you ask? Well, Grub can tell you that:

The bar takes its name from the longtime drag persona of owner Garry ‘x’ McLain, who holds the title of Empress XXV of SF's Imperial Council. (If you don't know what that means, read up on the organization here). The bar opened shortly after the Loma Prieta earthquake when Hayes Valley still was in the shadow of the Central Freeway. For many years it's played host to a weekly drag show on Sundays, and has famously been decked out to the point of excess for various holidays — most famously at Christmastime, when McLain pulls out his collection of 1,400 Santas and covers every inch of wall space with them.

This leaves Twin Peaks, the Cinch, and Aunt Charlie's Lounge (tread lightly, neighboring Twitter employees) to take up the slack of bars featuring gloriously aging clientele who bicker and talk shit while getting blotto. (Curse you, Grindr and Craigslist M4M.)

No word yet as to whom or what will take over Hayes Valley's single greatest contribution to society. We'll update you as soon as we know more. Until then, you can find us chained to Marlena's front door staging a one-man #occupation. Sob.

UPDATE: SFist spoke with Marlena himself this afternoon. He told us that, yes, although it's closing it will remain a gay bar. As for the name? It might very well change. "The name is still under negotiation, but might change. I'll still be here, though!" The bar will close for remodeling and should open a month later in its newest incarnation. Fingers crossed.

UPDATE II: BAR has more from owner Garry McLain, AKA known as Absolute Empress XXV of San Francisco, Marlena the Magnificent, who says that the new owners are "young" and "eager." At least one already owns another bar in the city, he went on to tell the BAR.

Marlena's: 488 Hayes, S.F.

Sad news for anyone who has ever felt the sting of an overdraft fee from the nation's largest bank: a federal appeals court in San Francisco declared yesterday that Wells Fargo Bank does not, in fact, owe California debit card holders some $203 million in restitution for its shady overdraft practices.

The class action lawsuit, which has been going on since 2007, alleged that Wells Fargo was using a shady method of processing debit purchases to a customer's checking account. Between 2001 and 2010, Bay City News reports, the bank would process the most expensive charges made in a day first before working through the lower charges. The end result is your checking account gets depleted faster and you're hit with a $35 fee for almost every charge.

To wit: if that expensive brunch you treated yourself to one Sunday morning was a little too much for your current checking account balance, you'd be hit with a painful $35 overdraft fee for that transaction. When you sobered up later, you might find out you were also hit with an overdraft charge for the $4 coffee you bought on your way to the restaurant and the $3 you spent an Walgreens on a travel size thing of Advil.

The practice was deemed misleading because the bank had implied that debit purchases were processed immediately and in chronological order. If an account didn't contain the necessary funds, customers were told, then the purchase wouldn't be approved in the first place.

At $35 a pop, Wells Fargo made $1.4 billion in overdraft fees between 2005 and 2007 alone. In 2010 a judge put a stop to the practice, calling it a "trap" that the bank exploited "with a vengeance, racking up hundreds of millions off the backs of the working poor, students and others without the luxury of ample bank balances."

At the time, the bank was ordered to repay $203 million in restitution, but in yesterday's decision a three-judge panel ruled that the federal law permitted the high-to-low processing procedure and overturned the monetary charge against Wells Fargo. The 9th Circuit Court did, however, agree with the earlier ruling that the bank had been misleading customers.

Since 2010, the bank has been processing debit card transactions in chronological order or from lowest to highest. Legally, the bank could return to the shady high-to-low processing practice (which would be disappointing), but according to a spokesperson for the bank, which is worth some $1.4 trillion, they have no intention to do so.

[BCN/Appeal]