SFist Rita is out of town for work, so we are donning our tiara and gown for this weeks Swells analysis. Tra-la-la! Total number of people pictured in this week's Swells society column: 57. Total number of people pictured whom we recognize/know: 23. This high number is because of the SF Library event with lots of writers, including Amy Tan, Vendela Vida, Dave Eggers, Stephen Elliot, Ben Fong-Torres, Michael Lewis, Kathi Kamen Goldmark, Sam Barry,......

Last week's winner, the East Bay Express. Rad dream cartoon this week. Feeding your pets raw meat. Are people trying to sneak into the Berkeley school system? Cover article: not sending juvies to jail. The Dixie Chicks play Oakland this Friday. The Slits are in town. A review of Xyclo -- Oakland Vietnamese restaurant, with a cool name. Old people went to the Rolling Stones show. And Tenacious D. Next up: the Bay Guardian. Nancy......

The Stones play Oakland Coliseum tonight having had to move it from last night's show due to Mick having a bad throat. Now granted, most people don't really care about the Stones anymore mainly because they've spent the past twenty years or so being the World's Greatest Rolling Stones Cover Band. But still, when they were good, they were really good. So, to get everyone in the mood for the show, or at least remind people just why they were at one point the biggest, baddest band in the land, here's a clip from their early-70's prime. It's a video of them doing "It's Only Rock n Roll" and it's somewhat live. Or at least it’s a lot grittier and dirtier than the recorded version. It's everything that is the Stones and more, somehow being both campy and bad-ass all at the same time. ...

-Bechtel cutting and running from Iraq. -Daly now ahead in D6 race? ...

As we've been watching the World Cup, we just can't but help think just how much fun it would be to be there. After all, it's soccer, it's beer, it's Katenrauchwurst-- what else do you want out of life? But alas, we were too late to sign up for tickets and our friends who are going didn't take us. What to do...what to do... Hey, we just found out a way to go-- just give tons of money to Assembly Speaker Fabian Núñez? He's taking some of his biggest fund raisers to Germany to watch the Finals. Total cost per person? $25,000. Airfare isn't included, but tickets, hotel reservations, and "welcoming gifts" are. We don't, however, think by "welcoming gifts" they mean "hookers"-- unless Duke Cunningham is involved. ...

There's a whole wide world out there, and here's the proof: DCist revels in The University of Maryland's basketball triumphs, marvels at Metro's security strategy, and applauds DC local Katie Couric's new gig. Phillyist is all about the Philadelphia Film Festival. OK, not all about -- they still have time for loitering, underage sex, and random wacky news. LAist would have to send a camera around the world to get shots as bizarre as Katie's......

Rather than give up the act, the JT Leroy crew clings desperately to the blonde wig and sunglasses look at Sundance. Stephanie Tanner from Full House is recovering from a meth addiction, which Dave Coulier could drive anyone to. Thomas Hawk pens an open letter to the folks who don't want any pictures taken of the On the Road manuscript. And if you've ever wanted a DJ Q-Bert plushie, now's your chance to buy......

No, Bill, no! That's not Coit Tower! It was a week of O'No O'Reilly in these parts, as everyone from Peskin to Daly to Newsom to Pelosi to our faithful readers chimed in. Why are we giving him any more publicity? But it's so hysterically funny! When we weren't storming over Coit Tower, we were storming into the new H&M. Or storming about the LOUDLOUDLOUD Rolling Stones show, babies, and the cancellation of Arrested......

Hey, want to spend an evening with an aging former drug abuser watching four other aging former (?) drug abusers shake their wrinkled heines on stage? For $100,000 and the cost of some plane tickets, you can go see the Rolling Stones perform at Fenway Park in Boston with Herr Governator! We think it would be worth it to watch him dance to the Black Eyed Peas and maybe spark a 'special' cigar. It's......

After thirty-five years, Alameda County sheriff's investigators have finally closed the murder of Meredith Hunter at the Rolling Stones' Altamont concert 35 years ago. Apparently, they’ve been looking for the semi-mythical "second knifeman" for the past thirty-five years only to come up with nothing. Which just goes to show you that shouldn't necessarily base a murder investigation on the testimony of thousands of people on brown acid. ...

[Ed. Note: Since LAist seems to have dropped their new CD release column, SFist Krissy is here to pick up the slack.] Technically Tuesday is new release day, but I couldn't imagine posting such a frivolous list on Election Day. Now that we're all depressed and despondent, perhaps this list is just what the doctor ordered. If you like to listen to your live concerts in your living room or in your car, rather than......