A group of young girls, christened by the media as the "Rainbow Girls," have been robbing high-end stores at the Westfield Centre and in Union Square. Also, they're totally lame and nothing compared to real-life Bling Ring sociopaths. (Pst, Sophia Coppola's acclaimed film version of a Vanity Fair article based on the latter group opens in theaters TODAY, you guys.)

First of all, the Rainbow Girls are violent. They have been know to "push store managers" out of the way as they attempt to flee the scene with stolen goods in tow. Also, they've been doing this for around three years. THREE YEARS! That's sad. To give them credit, though, they do steal from nice stores -- at least most of the time. According to KTVU, the gaggle of girls have swiped stuff from Prada, Coach, and... H&M. (Really, H&M?) Most recently, "the Burberry store was robbed Tuesday of several scarves, a purse worth more than a $1,000 and wallets worth hundreds each."

They also commit brazen thievery from the mall. Who steals from the mall? Today it's all about ripping off personal items from two-dimensional celebrities wisps. Alexis Neiers--convicted Bling Ring member, former E! reality starlet, and future country leader--would scoff at the antics of these Bonnie Parker wannabes.

But wait. On the plus side, one of the Rainbow Girls, as SF Examiner breathlessly declares in a sensational headline, is reportedly transgender. Which, hmm. That's way more diverse. In our book, this now puts them well above the Bling Ring. (Away with you, L.A. trash!) Consider us officially obsessed with the Rainbow Girls.

Oh, and the Rainbow Girls received their sobriquet via the bright braids they have in their hair. You've been warned.

Wha?

Whoever you are, however many of you there are, we will find you. And we will destroy you.

Well, we tried. And failed. See, after EaterWire told us about Thomas Keller "catering the grand opening party at the new Prada flagship" in downtown SF, we got moist thinking about attending the minimalist designer's latest unveiling to snap up a few pics, rub elbows with San Francisco Magazine folks, and maybe steal an accessory or eight. That is, until we couldn't get clearance from Allison Speer PR who told us, ahem, "[w]e are at capacity and i can not [sic] admit additional names," going to on tell SFist "[w]e reviewed your sigth [sic] and are UNABLE to accommodate your request."

Alas.

Ok, we admit to being unreasonably angry. And, really, we'd probably feel as uncomfortable there as we would at Club Six on a Friday night, Zeitgeist after Critical Mass, or at one of those aging gay hipster bars. But still: it's Prada. It's fucking clothes. Why should we care that someone with an "@prodigy.net" suffixed email address thinks we're gauche? Is it exclusivity's siren song? The Keller spread, or lack thereof? That we won't get to poke fun at the failed anorexic, pseudo-Condé Nast "writers" of 7x7 littering tomorrow night's festivities? Why does it hurt so much to be rejected by people you don't even like in the first place? Sigh.

On a brighter note, SFist was invited to the "The Third Annual Good Vibrations Amateur Erotic Film Festival." So. You know. There's that.

Altered image credit: Curbed