A harrowing scene was captured on tape recently as ranch dressing and ketchup duked it out on the Dolores Park playground. Ranch, the clear winner since it's the superior condiment, was minding its own business when ketchup began to harass Ranch for, presumably, hanging out in his skivvies on the fruit shelf and getting stoned. Actually, it's all part of Hidden Valley Ranch's campaign to become to the ketchup. Yes, it's an ad campaign and, yes, we are falling for it because, again, we love Ranch dressing. It should be on everything. more ›

We've discussed before our trepidation about the infringing upon gay space that happened when that new Dolores Park playground got renovated and drastically enlarged. Though most of the gay beach remains intact, there have been complaints that motorcycle cops have been making the scantily clad sunbathers feel uncomfortable lately — if there are too many reports like this, we don't want to see how mad and in-your-face Anna Conda will get. Cops have also handcuffed and cited the cold-beer-cold-water dude, which is just sad, even if he is mean. And now Mission Local and Uptown Almanac report on some complaints from parents that with their ridiculously outsized new toddler terrarium they now think they need a fence to keep out the big scary dogs running around. COME ON. more ›

Love it or hate it — pst, we love it — the new playground in Dolores Park got a wee bit of a makeover with some fun street art. Jeremy Novy painted some of his famous koi on the rubber matting. You like? He also drew some clouds and a line of ants, both of which are sure to delight the thong of kids playing in the park again. Mission Mission has more images for your enjoyment or disapproval, depending on which side of the street-art fence you sit. more ›

Did you know the new Dolores Park playground is open? Aye. And you simply must drag your snot-covered little blessing(s) to the city's favorite park to check it out. It's got everything: slides, sand, rubber safety thingamajigs, poles, a bridge, swings, and... ok, not everything. But still, it's got all you and your kids will need for a smashing day at Dolores Park. Get it while it's fresh, new, and not desecrated with PBR and fornication. more ›

New census figures only confirm what we already suspected: There are barely any children left in this town to use that oversize playground they just built for them, which is using up practically a third of well-loved, sometimes hoodlum-filled Dolores Park. The playground is set to open March 31, but will it really get a lot of use and not just devolve into a homeless encampment by November? We shall see. more ›

The 2010 San Francisco Playground Report Card (PDF warning) was released this week. Judging parks based off of signage, fencing & gates, ground surface, cleanliness, equipment, amenities, surface material, the hugely popular Dolores Park scored an 'F' for its lackluster playground. (It could be argued, though, that the entire park in one big playground.) While some fans love Dolores Park as-is, its much-needed renovations will certainly change the playground's low score. The area, after all, has seen a boom in little blessings over the last few years; a safe and sparkly playground seems more than necessary. more ›

In an effort to promote "volunteerism," First Ladies Michelle Obama and Maria Shriver kicked off a national community service campaign today (United We Serve) at the playground of Bret Harte Elementary School. But Obama wasn't just talk; she joined more than 500 local volunteers to redo the school's playground. The new kid-space will include "an edible garden that will have a farmer's market stand where kids and seniors can sell vegetables to raise money for the school," reports NBC Bay Area. The playground is is expected to be completed by 5 p.m. today. (Say what you will about the Obama administraion, you would never have found Laura Bush doing manual labor in the Bayview-Hunter's Point hood.) more ›