Here's todays sports news...

This morning, ESPN's Len Pasquarelli is reporting that "sources" say that the 49ers' prized offensive coordinator Norv Turner will be the new coach of the San Diego Chargers, to which we say noooooo....

Local sportswriters are abandoning the A's bandwagon this season like it was, well, a sinking ship. In February, Ray Ratto predicted a 60-win season on ESPNews (later, he amended that to 65. Thanks, Ray). Then, Bruce Jenkins rhapsodized about intelligent baseball, threw up his hands and conceded the AL West. We can never tell what the hell Scott Ostler is talking about, but we're pretty sure this, which includes the season's first lazy connection......

In an impromptu press conference called for whatever reason, a crutch weilding Barry Bonds told the assembled media that he might not play until the mid-point of the season. Or maybe not play for the entire season. Or maybe not play ever. As in never, ever, ever, again. Looks like we picked a bad time to stop sniffing glue. ...