-- "The Crib": Shitty City Nights' only decent club night, the one where you're not called a "faggot" if you happen to be walking outside of it (i.e., on Friday and Saturday nights). Why? Because tonight's for the homos. Hip hop, Top 40, and club hits abound at this popular 18-and-over twink night. Tonight's theme: Messy Britney. Do your best sloppy Britney Spears tribute on stage, and win a bag of crystal meth, or......

Photo of Dan Carbone and friend, by Mike Kuchar Why? Because the stuffed-animal slinging, falsetto-singing, universe-weaving, Dada-referencing, Bay Area playwright and theater artist (and good friend and muse of seminal filmmaker George Kuchar) is all that -- and he's just been nominated for a New York Innovative Theater Award (being announced at a party in NYC tonight) for his 2006 Off-Off Broadway production of Kingdom of Not. Savvy Fringe Festival regulars may recall that this......

Hey kids, it's contest time at the ole -ist as we have a two pairs of tickets to go see "David Gordon's Pick Up Performance- 'Dancing Henry Five'" at the ODC this Thursday night. What is "David Gordon's Pick Up Performance- 'Dancing Henry Five?'" Well, it's a version of Shakespeare's "Henry V" (you know, the one about Prince Hal going from drunken overgrown child to heroic leader and leading his country into a huge military victory, unlike someone we know), except done in an hour. And with dancing. And all multi-media like with recordings from Laurence Olivier and Christopher Plummer intermixed into the performance and we're guessing those recordings won't be from Clash of the Titans or the Sound of Music (although who doesn't want to hear a little "Edelweiss" now and then?) ...

Oh, what's become of our good old-fashioned hard-hearted conservative Republicans? Performance art?!?! What's next, long hair? Berets? Drapes and doilies? Irish cuisine? The Davis College Republicans are sponsoring some sort of symbolic art-game today (Tuesday) at 12:30 out on the quad, wherever the hell that is. They're calling it "Illegal Immigration Capture the Flag," and here's the ingenious twist that'll earn 'em an A in their semiotics seminar: "Illegal Immigrants team will vastly outnumber......

Although it's one of our very favorite cult flicks from the 80s, we have never seen Repo Man on the big screen. It screens tonight at the Castro (429 Castro St at 17th), as part of the series, Tormented Terrestrials Tuesdays. Starring Emilio Estevez in a much more appealing role than the dopey jock from the Breakfast Club, the film also features cult actors, Harry Dean Stanton and Dick Rude, and a soundtrack of......

--Somber day today. --Scraping down the BART tracks. --Hey, who busted the governor on that "hot blooded Latinas" thing? Not that the governor should be embarrassed about it or anything, though! --No decision from the HP Board. --Furry seals are back! --Performance artist/crosswalk advocate crosses 16th Street 161 times. --and the Golden Gate Bridge toll may go up to $6. Picture of Patricia Dunn, still the chair of the HP board for now.......

We saw MTT conduct Mahler's Symphony No. 8 on Saturday, and ran into him again the day after -- he was the composer of the music for the first half of Joe Goode's new show, and Sunday was the first night his schedule let him attend Stay Together, at the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts. The music he wrote is actually the opposite of the work he conducted the night before: it is pretty......

If you ever wished to stand up and stretch, or God forbid, leave, in the middle of attending an opera, the SF Opera is there for you. They don't provide you with concerts you want to run away from, but with a bunch of casual opportunities to appreciate the lyrical arts al fresco. They have a concert in Stern Grove (July 30th), they have the annual Opera in the Park in Sharon Meadows in......

Outbound -- next train, N Wednesday, now approaching. Tonight: The San Francisco Public Library has invited Caldecott-winning book illustrator Tomie DePaola for the 10th annual Effie Lee Morris Lecture. Effie Lee Morris was the coordinator of children's literature at the SFPL from 1963-77 and was a pioneer in spearheading the development of children's library resources. The lecture is free and starts at 6:30 p.m. in the Koret Auditorium of the Main Library. Thursday: Come see......

Well, our little congresswoman made a stirring come-from-behind comeback victory yesterday and overtook Cynthia McKinney in Wonkette's "Congressional Catfight." We hope it was our valued readers who helped take the prize for ole' Nance. But that's not the real big news today. The big news is that Nancy has come out and said that basically, that whole impeachment thing everyone's all dreaming about these days if the Democrats take over the House? Ain't gonna happen. It's "off the table." ...

Four out of five workdays recommend ..... Wednesdays. Tonight: Japanese jazz improv in Oakland! The 2+2 jazz improv series at Oakland's 21 Grand, which features dueling instruments of one kind of another, is hosting a Japanese koto battle this month (with the second +2 for saxophones). The koto is the long wooden plucked-string instrument. 416 25th Street (at Broadway), in Oakland, 8 p.m., $6-10. Thursday: If you're downtown, stop by Jackson Square as the arts......

Have we ever mentioned how much we love the Primitive Screwhead? Our infatuation began when we attended their final performance of Evil Dead: Live, and we've been slavering to see what they'd do next. They'd mentioned something about a Re-Animator: Live, but, dude, we're part of the OnDemand generation and we want something NOW!...

Okay, we've had a week to get over ourselves for the SF Weekly Best Blog thing, we're back to normal now. Last week's winner, the East Bay Express. Trippy Slow Wave dream comic! They could make a movie outta that! Bottom Feeder: Operation Rescue's at it again in Rockridge. Cover article: viral marketing in Emeryville with Internet scavenger hunts. Event of the week: Girlstock! With Von Iva! Performance (B)ART. Search the EBX food listings for organic. UK grime is overrated. And Savage Love: STDs (isn't that the band with Scott Weiland?). The Guardian: Tim Redmond says stem cells development will oppress. Hey, have you thought about public power this week? A frightening ad in the front section entitled "The Evolution of the Marina Woman" (so much flowy hair!) -- we think maybe the target demographic of the Bay Guardian is not the audience that SF Optics is aiming for. SF is anti-bike. SFist is ambivalent. Annalee Newitz on the Real ID act. The sex columnist with a letter about a lady who loves her parrot (fake? real? you decide!). And the cover article: movies by that guy who got kicked out of the SF Art Institute for making disturbing movies. Come up with a phrase for the female version of "cock block," and the pick of the week, after the jump! ...

The nominees for the 47th Annual GRAMMY Awards were announced yesterday in Hollywood, with homeboys Green Day earning an impressive six nominations. That's four less than Kanye West, two less than Alicia Keys and Usher, but one more than Norah, Loretta and Prince. Billie Joe, Mike, and Tré Cool are honored for American Idiot (the album and the single) in the categories of Album of the Year, Record of the Year, Best Rock Performance By......

Now, SFist doesn't usually go to modern dance performances (we're never sure when to clap, for one thing), but last year, our yoga class went to the ODC theater to see our yoga teacher dancing in the corps for Chris Black and the POTRZEBIE Dance Project's The Ecstasy of Saint Whatshername. ...

roundup of the local weeklies....