Sorry to spread the bad news, Giants fans, but last night's 9-4 loss to the Diamondbacks mathematically eliminated them from the playoffs. We know, we know, wha? Well, statistically, the Giants could still have made the playoffs if they won every game up until the end of the season and the Padres, DBacks, Dodgers, and Rockies all came down with the Ebola Virus. Hey, it happens sometimes, sort of. In the Premiere League, Tottenham once got eliminated from qualifying for the Champions League when several key members of the team came down with a mysterious case of food poisoning....

Here's todays sports news...

Here's todays sports news...

Here's todays sports news...

With the Giants stumbling ever downward towards the midpoint of the season, we decided to check in with El Lefty Malo and McCovey Chronicles to get their opinion on a season that is rapidly approaching the point where "are you ready for some football?" will be the motto of the second half of the season....

Here's todays sports news...

Here's todays wrap up of last night's sports news...

Here's todays wrap up of the sports scores...

Here's todays sports wrapup...

Here's todays sports wrapup...

Here's todays recap of last night's sports...

-Frank Gore and Larry Allen from the 49ers and Raiders DE Derrick Burgess get an all expenses paid trip to Hawaii for the Pro Bowl. The Raiders are stunned only Burgess is going. Hmmm....maybe not being one of the worst teams in NFL history would have helped. ...

When does the RCV count begin -- in the District 6 election! And as promised earlier, this week's episode is indeed titled: Everybody Hates The Wait. --Man, it sounds like we just missed the Dalys' almost-to-victory speeches at the DNA Lounge last night. Savannah Blackwell (yay! she's writing again!) has the good word. We're trying our best to get YouTube footage of Mrs. Chris Daly telling off "the motherf**kers at the Golden Gate Restaurant Association,"......

Well, that was fast. According to pretty much everyone, the Giants' new manager will be Bruce Bochy. As we said earlier, we always liked his work with the Padres, but find him utterly boring and the wearer of a really bad, non-ironic moustache. He also has a very big head. It turns out, however, that he recently he has been seen sans 'stache so maybe he's finally realized the error of his ways. Oh, and he already has a job that with the Padres, but this doesn't seem to a problem. ...

As this disheartening, dispiriting, and disillusioning Giants' baseball season comes to a close, it is quite possible that there is still a chance that this season could be saved, redeemed even. For all could be forgiven, all forgotten, with just one act, one thing, one simple, simple thing-- knocking the Dodgers out of the playoffs....

Before the series with the Indians started up, Ken Macha was talking about how worried he was about the upcoming series. Didn't like the matchups. We weren't sure whether or not he meant it or whether or not he was pulling a Lou Holtz and trying to keep his team on their toes by playing up a totally inferior opponent. Regardless, the A's took the second game of a three game series as Bobby Kielty hit a grand slam home run in the sixth inning. Kirk Saarloos struck out eleven and added another vowel to his name for the effort. The Angels won but with the A's winning, the magic number is 6. ...

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times... A's 4 White Sox 2- Esteban Loaiza held the White Sox to just enough runs to allow a pretty week A's O to win the game. The A's were 0 for 16 with runners in scoring position but still scraped together four runs. How'd they do it-- aggressive base running, defense, situational hitting-- small ball. Now how about that? The game so pissed off Sox manager Ozzie Guillen that after the game he launched into a profanity filled tirade about the lack of booze in the visiting locker room. Anyways, the Angels won so the A's remain five up but the magic number is now 11....

Baseball is a long season and there are a lot of games during the season and it is always problematic to overemphasize the importance of just one game, but all things considering, yesterday was the most recent Most Important Game of the Year for the Giants. They were 2 1/2 back against the Padres, four in back of the Dodgers and another loss just might have set them back too much. So in steps Matt Cain, your new Giants ace, to throw an eight-inning shut out of the Rockies. ...

Okay everyone, let's do the Tighten Up. Twins 7 A's 5- Joe Kennedy picked the wrong time to snap his scoreless inning streak as he blew a two run lead late to the Twins, a team long-buried and now looking like your possible Central Division Champs. The A's were up 5-3 in the eighth when Kennedy, pitching his second inning, started giving up hit after hit. This wasn't any sort of Benitez job, however-- Kennedy had a 15 1/3 scoreless streak going and took his first loss since last year. That's the thing about being a relief pitcher, no matter how well you do, at some point you're going to blow a game. The game also marked the end of Frank Thomas's home-run streak, as he was unable to do the deed this time around. The big thing, however, is that the Angels, a team that has just pretty much hung around and around and around all season, also won. What was once a fairly comfortable lead is now not so much as the Halos are now 4 1/2 back. We had thought the A's were pretty much in cruising mode but we guess not. Welcome to Pennant Race Hell, A's fans. ...

Sometimes a loss can be a victory and this is one of those losses that looks like a victory. Except in the win column where it really counts. The Niners came out right from the start loaded for bear and scored a TD with Alex Smith hooking up with Vernon Davis on their very first drive. The Cards then went on to take a 21-7 lead but the Niners kept coming and coming and coming, only to finally go down in defeat when Smith's Hail Mary pass fell incomplete. In fact, the Niners could claim they won all the big things but lost due to the small things, like penalties and missed passes and one missed field goal. Which sounds pretty bad if you're a contending team but really good if you're pretty much not. Oh, and Frank Gore is the man. His two-yard TD run where he basically just pushed himself into the end zone was the kind of football that would have made Vince Lombardi smile. ...

These are not good days for the Stanford University Cardinal. In an upset with all sorts of subtext, the Cardinal lost to San Jose State University, 35-34 as SJSU came from 20 points behind. This is a huge victory in the same way it was a huge victory when all the slobs beat the snobs in those early 80's teen comedies. Stanford turned the ball over three teams in the second half-- one of them being an interception in the end zone-- and were completely unable to stop a rampaging Spartan running game. With two minutes left in the game, Stanford drove down the length of the field only to have Spartan defender Rakine Toomes knock the ball from WR Evan Moore's hands. SJSU is now 1-1 and Stanford is 0-2. ...

It's looking like one of those pitching kids the Giants have been bragging about for years might be living up to the hype. We're talking about Matt Cain, of course, who won yet another game, 4-0 against the Whale Vagina Padres. We love when the Giants play the Pads because they seem to beat them everytime, even when the Pads are in the midst of a five game winning streak. Anyways, Cain pitched seven innings, gave up one hit (he had a no-no going into the sixth), and no runs. In his past five starts he has given up one earned run in thirty-four innings and an era that was once over seven is now under four. Expect his arm to blow out sometime early next season....

Soy un perdedor, the Bay Area teams are winners, baby.......

If, like us, you were driving around the city last night hearing weird sort of booms in the air it was because it was Fireworks Night at the Phonebooth. Now fireworks night at the ballpark can occasionally be sort of a weird thing, an obvious marketing ploy that can on the wrong night and with the wrong team be all that more disconnected from reality. Hey, our team is going nowhere, our front office is run by a bunch of cheapskates, and we'll never come close to the playoffs, but look at the shiny rockets exploding in the air! But not last night....

We were all set to do a follow-up on Barry's Big Nothing but OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL HAS GOTTTEN INTO THE GIANTS? First they rallied from 6-1 to win yesterday and tonight...tonight, well, tonight they put together what Statheads refer to as an "ass whumping," beating the Padres, 9-3. We're talking striking for a rare and always-impressive back-to-back-to-back (and almost another -back) home run barrage, started off by the Barry himself, who hit 722. He was followed in quick succession by the so hot right now Ray Durham and Pedro Feliz. But wait, there's more! Omar Vizquel pulled off a suicide squeeze (scoring Wynn) and the New Kid on the Block, Chad Santos, hit his very first home-run, a two run shot. He also made a few nice plays in the field. ...

You know how in the newspaper biz whenever a celebrity or person of note becomes old and frail and obituaries are written beforehand so they can rush it onto the newswire the moment that person kicks the bucket? Well, we had started writing one up about Barry being indicted just because everyone was so sure that he was about to be indicted. He wasn't. ...

Yeah, the Giants lost the season opener last night 6-1 as Jake Peavy shut the Black & Orange down, but that, of course, isn't what everyone is talking about. In something that should be par for the course this season, anything the Giants do will have two components to it-- how the Giants do and what happens to Barry. Barry lined the first pitch he saw for a double and scored the first Giants' run of the season (brought in by Lance Niekro, hopefully a good omen) but didn't do much else...

We continue with our raging discussion on this year's upcoming baseball season. The rest of the award-winning SFist sports desk will join in as soon as their stupid day jobs let them. Oh, how we long for the days when we were merely crack monkey's chained to computers in Jackson's basement dungeon. Anyways, part I can be seen here and Part 2 here. SFist Chris

The National League West?

Note to the remaining teams in the 2006 Women's NCAA Championship basketball tournament: beware the number three seed Stanford Cardinal. ...

You know how you have those old, comfy slippers that at one point were the latest in slipper accessories but they started to get kind of old and ratty and full of holes and you realize that there's way better slippers out there but you just can't get rid of those slippers because they're just so comfy and they always bring warm and fuzzy memories? Well, those slippers are J.T. Snow. And you just threw them out. Because late Wednesday night the Giants announced that they were not going to offer J.T. arbitration and so bid him adieu. To replace him, the Giants are set to sign ex-Padres 1B Mark Sweeney, a player we are excited about not one whit. ...