Dolores Park is done. It's also partially closed for repairs. And with that, it's time to find somewhere else to go on blistering days. But where? Revised from our 2013 list, here are our favorite outdoor spots to feel like you're in a different world, even if you're right in the middle of it all. Let us know your favorite outdoor spots. (We know you will anyway.)

Baker Beach
It’s arguably San Francisco’s prettiest beach. It’s the original home of Burning Man (ca. 1986-1990). It’s the semi-nude beach that looks like it’s the closest one to the Golden Gate Bridge from where you’re taking that selfie — but that honor actually goes to the narrower, gayer, dirtier stretch of sand past the rocks to the north, Marshall’s Beach, accessible only by a winding coastal trail and recommended only for the non-faint-of-heart. And because people are lazy, the northern, more naked portion of Baker is often your best bet for finding some open pieces of sand on one of our 20 hot days a year, because it’s a long walk from the public parking lot or a steep climb down the sand ladder to get to it. Turn right at the base of the sand ladder, and you will find clothed and non-clothed homosexuals, pansexuals, polyamorists and the like (and tolerant straight people). Turn left (south), and things gets a bit straighter, getting more family-oriented and paddle-tennis-friendly the closer you get to the parking lot. And, yes, there will sometimes be naked volleyball on the northern end, complete with flopping dongs. —Jay Barmann
Gibson Road, in the Presidio

McLaren Park
Did you know that San Francisco’s second-largest park, topping 300 acres, is right down in the southern end of the city between Visitacion Valley and the Excelsior? One of our most unsung gems, which may be unsung because it’s a little hard to get to, is McLaren Park. It’s home to an entire public golf course (Gleneagles), two little lakes, two playgrounds, two off-leash dog play areas, the not-often-used Jerry Garcia amphitheater, some beautiful, rolling hillsides, and occasional coyotes. Also, there’s a 2.7-mile-long loop of trails called Philosopher's Way, completed in 2012, with 14 “musing stations” that include stories from longtime residents and literary quotes. —Jay Barmann

photo of Crissy Field from the Presidio's website

Crissy Field
Described as "the Presidio's 'front door,'" Crissy Field is basically where transplants think San Franciscans all hang out, as nearly every SF-set show has a Crissy shot in it sooner or later. But are they wrong? On a weekend visit to Crissy you'll see everyone from healthily affluent couples with strollers that cost more than your first car, tourist families bracing against the "cold," and local teens screwing around the way kids do. Here's my Crissy jam: I park at the Crissy Field Center lot, then walk west along the beach and path all the way to The Warming Hut. Tie up the dogs outside, go in for coffee and pastries. Eat at a picnic table (mind the birds), then walk back in the middle of their beautiful greenway (and former airfield). You'll cover a few miles and the dogs will be pooped, but it's a great way to spend an afternoon. —Eve Batey
1199 East Beach, in the Presidio

photo: Yelp user Em S.

Sutro Heights Park
Sutro Heights Park is one of the Outer Richmond's greatest gems, a lovely lush park that overlooks Ocean Beach and Lands End, but is just out of the loop enough to be quiet on even the hottest, touristy-est days. Once the statue-laden estate of Adolph Sutro, the city demolished his mansion and turned it into Sutro Heights Park after his daughter's death. But parts of the foundation and a few statues remain, sweeping you out of the city and straight into Narnia. On the weekends, there are a lot of weddings here (my dog's interrupted at least one, oops), but just skirt the ceremony and walk straight up to the western edge of the park (where Sutro's castle once stood, can you imagine?) to see one of the most amazing views in the city. Yup, you live here. —Eve Batey
Between 48th Avenue and Point Lobos Ave

Ocean Beach: Roy N/Yelp

Ocean Beach
Ocean Beach can be a harsh mistress, and I'm not even talking about the surfing. It can be cold and windy, sometimes you have to climb dunes to get there, and there's always some giant off-leash dog running straight towards you who might be friendly...or not. But, it's also 3.5 miles of pure beach, unsullied by giant hotels or fenced off areas or guys lifting weights. This is what a San Francisco beach is supposed to be like: gorgeous, a little treacherous, and open to all humanity. You can have bonfires in the provided fire pits (roughly between Lincoln and Fulton) and run your dogs off-leash from Stairwell 21 (basically, across from Beach Chalet) all the way to the Cliff House cliffs. I will note that many Ocean Beach surfers (both genders) change their clothing in the parking lot, which is a reason to avoid or head straight to the area, depending on your voyeuristic position. Pro tips: bring a jacket even if it's hot where you are, hit the restroom (there aren't any on-site facilities), and don't tote drinks in glass containers (they're not allowed, and people do get fined). —Eve Batey
The western edge of San Francisco, all the way down Great Highway

Andy Goldsworthy's piece "Spire" photo: Justin Beck/Pix Plz

The Presidio
With hidden beaches, a cliffside hiking trail and lush eucalyptus forests the Presidio offers multiple ways to get outside without leaving town. To focus your woodland meanderings, seek out Andy Goldsworthy's trio of art pieces: Spire, Wood Line and Tree Fall. Alternatively, you can just skip nature altogether and go have brunch on the patio at Presidio Social Club or on the lawn for the Presidio Picnic. —Andrew Dalton

photo: Erin Conger

Bernal Heights
For our money, Bernal still hosts some of the finest views of San Francisco and without allt he tourists. Come for sunrise over the bay, or a renegade piano concert at sundown as the city lights up. Or just come in the middle of the day to relax into the hill's steep slopes and make yourself a crown of California poppies. Bonus: you get to stroll through blocks worth of Bernal's charming architecture to get there. —Andrew Dalton

photo: Darwin Bell

Alamo Square Park
What Alamo Square lacks in acreage (See: Golden Gate Park) and hip/gay cachet (Dolores), it makes up for in nostalgia thanks to a backdrop that is basically the platonic ideal of San Francisco. Which much of Dolores closed for 2014, expect a slight shift in demographics. —Andrew Dalton

photo: Outside Lands on Facebook

Golden Gate Park
If you like warm, sunny moments punctuated by glacial fogginess without any notice, then Golden Gate Park is the place for you. Bring layers, lots of them. (Places of note: Conservatory of Flowers, Botanical Garden at Strybing Arboretum, National AIDS Memorial Grove, Stow Lake, Spreckels Lake, Chain of Lakes, Kezar Stadium, Polo Fields, Windmills, Bison paddock, "Janis Joplin Tree," the Carousel, and the Beach Chalet.) —Brock Keeling

Letting it all hang out at Jane Warner Plaza
If you want to stick it to the man, head over the the Castro wearing one of those weird bikini underwear thongs that hold your nuts snugly in the front, but reveal your buttocks in the back. You'll be sure to shock those squares...from 1969. —Brock Keeling

photo: Demetrios Lyras

The Embarcadero
It doesn't get better than a jaunt along the Embarcadero on a sunny day. The bridge, the bay, the ballpark, the bow and arrow... this is the route I take when I need cheering up. (Add roller skates and short shorts for extra special fun.) —Brock Keeling

South Park
This European park hidden in SoMa was featured in Rent and Blue Jasmine. One of San Francisco's oldest parks (dating back to 1854), it's a hot spot during the lunch hour with tech ilk and local color alike. The weekends are more quiet. A serene place in the sun that very few frequent. —Brock Keeling

Last week we waxed poetic about how great growing up in the Bay Area must be, much in part due to the strong sense of community here, as well as the huge amount of cultural activities and city parks.

Like any geographical location though, there are downsides, such as the grittiness of certain neighborhoods. A post on Buboblog the other day made that aspect all too clear. This particular SoMa toddler loves to pick up rocks on the sidewalk that are often littered with dog (or human?) urine and other substances, such as bottle caps and prophylactics. But as tempting as they are, he's not allowed to pick up cigarette butts or the random raver glow sticks.

Don't shred!

Don't skate!

Don't scoot!

Don't walk! (transitive)

Don't play!

Don't pluck!

Don't trample!

Don't feed! (transitive)

All that adds up to "DON'T LIVE!" according to at least one vandal. The rules at the San Francisco Botanical Garden at Strybing Arboretum are not unreasonable. However, their new-school international-style signs are a little different. These stacked up figures strike some as funny.

Obviously somebody has made an effort to avoid using too much American English, that non-inclusive sole official language of California. But be sure to check out the arboretum when you can. It's very pleasant with many interesting things. Just be nice when you visit.

See what we are dealing with on the closed beaches of S.F., after the jump.

We were coming back from our Labor Day we're-outta-here yesterday and saw this over the hills to the north. It was big enough that we turned on the radio to make sure that nobody had bombed downtown San Jose. No terrorists here, but the Lick Fire is plenty scary on its own. Good luck to the firefighters who are trying to contain this beast.

They're not there to persuade anyone; like Critical Mass or Dore Alley, these aggressive displays of difference just reinforce the gulf of "we're totally unlike you," rather than adopting the shrewd Scientology approach of "hey, look, this is something that you've been seeking all along."

But the problem isn't their message -- it could be about global warming or shoe stores or a dramatic reading of for all we care -- it's that they're being loud, and we're just trying to enjoy a nice day in a public park for Pete's sake. But they don't mean to be making anyone grumpy; they really think they're doing everyone a favor. They think they're being nice. Meanwhile, everyone else just wants them to go away.

So: what's to be done? You could ask them to stop, but just as with noisy neighbors, they don't care that they're irritating; if they were polite, they wouldn't be making a racket in the first place. Or you could blast them back with a loudspeakering of the "Every Sperm is Sacred" song, a sort of mutually-assured deafening. Of course, that's not likely to make them leave.

We're partial to the "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" approach: make them uncomfortable by holding signs reading "God is Goddamn Great," and giving highly detailed testimony about how you found Jesus during the physical act of love. Hey, it's a public space: you might as well play along until they just want to take their toys and go home.

On Monday, three people are each making their respective 500th open-water swim to Alcatraz and back. Swimming's hard! And the water's cold! And they won't be wearing wet suits. But these three guys have obviously had few problems doing it again and again, and each have significant open-water swimming accomplishments to boast of (follow the above link to the press release for details). We totally wish we had the cojones and physical prowess to do this . . . it's been a long time since we tried an open-water swim (and the last one we did was the Potomac in Washington, D.C., which was thoroughly disgusting).

Gary Emich, Steven Hurwitz, and Pedro Ordenes chose Monday, June 11th, to coincide with the 45th anniversary of Frank Morris and Anglin Brothers' escape from the prison on June 11, 1962.

If you'd like to see them off, show up at the South End Rowing Club, 500 Jefferson Street at 10 a.m. The feat should take about an hour.

We checked out the completely re-done Pirate’s Cove trail as we neared the end of our loop hike yesterday in the Tennessee Valley area. Wait…Pirate’s Cove? Yep! This particular little cove was a favorite spot for rum runners during Prohibition, hence the name. The Pirate’s Cove Trail was redone as part of the Golden Gate National Recreational Area's (GGNRA) Trails Forever initiative, and they’ve done a fantastic job.

The trail dips and climbs over a stunning stretch of Marin coastline, going all the way down to just above the cove, then climbs up via some nifty new stairs to a ridge where you can look north for miles, and south to San Francisco and beyond. It was hell on our legs, especially after eight up-and-down miles to get there, but absolutely worth it.

To reach Pirate’s Cove, drive to the Tennessee Valley Trailhead (really crowded on weekends, go after work in the evening light if you want some solitude) and take the Valley Trail to the Pirate’s Cove Trail. From there you can hike further to Muir Beach, connect to the Miwok Trail and make a loop of it, or just head back.

Oh yeah….aarrrrrrrr!