Whether you're a clueless 14-year-old "white girl" or a lauded football star, offhand comedic bits about committing acts of terrorism don't land well with authorities. Take, for example, 49ers linebacker Aldon Smith who was arrested on Sunday at LAX after making a statement about having a bomb. He made the alleged remark after being selected at random for a security screening.

Sacramento Bee has the police report:

"At approximately 1400 hrs, a 25-year-old male resident of San Jose, California, was going through Terminal 1 screening and was randomly selected for a secondary screening. The suspect then became belligerent and uncooperative with the process and with the TSA agent, making a comment indicating that he was in possession of a bomb before proceeding towards the gate area. Los Angeles Airport Police made contact with him at the gate and he was positively identified as the person in question. Once again the male subject became uncooperative and he was detained and taken into custody by Airport Police and is currently being transported to LAPD for booking."

Smith, as Deadspin points out, is actually 24, but will be 25 in September. And according to an eyewitness, Aldon was more annoyed than wildly "uncooperative." The Mercury News has more:

Smith, who turns 25 on Aug. 25, was at Gate 6 of Terminal 1 when confronted by several police, who then led Smith away from the Southwest gate, according to eyewitness John Egan of Austin.

“I heard him say, ‘I did nothing wrong,’ ” Egans said. “The whole thing ratcheted up from there. The cops were trying to calm him down. He wasn’t out of control; just agitated.”

TMZ obtained footage of Aldon being handcuffed and escorted out of the gate. In it you can see the linebacker professing his innocence with officers before being lead away.

This arrest follows a series of incidents, including a DUI arrest, for the troubled footballer. Last year, after a raucous 2012 party at his San Jose home, Smith pleaded not guilty to illegal possession of an assault weapon.

"We are disappointed to learn of the incident today involving Aldon Smith," 49ers general manager Trent Baalke said in a statement. "As this is a pending legal matter and we are still gathering the pertinent facts, we will have no further comment."

Reporting on this morning's fatal news chopper crash in Seattle, Fox 31 in Denver got more than they wanted after clicking through someone's Twitter photo feed—namely, somebody's penis. The hosts, appropriately enough, recoiled in horror.

Stressing that the penis in question was not from the tablet of one of their reporters, KDVR has issued the following apology:

“While reporting breaking news about the crash of the KOMO-TV helicopter in Seattle, FOX31 Denver accidentally broadcast an offensive photo while scrolling live through a Twitter feed of pictures from the crash scene.

The photo was mistakenly broadcast by our control room. It did not come from the tablet many viewers saw being used by one of our anchors.

We apologize for the inadvertent broadcast of the image and we are taking immediate steps to prevent such an accident from happening again.”

And:

E-journalism 101 time, kids: Twitter remains one of the few social media mammoths to still allow pornographic imagery. (Facebook, Instagram, and Vine, however, censor most types of nudity.) Something to keep in mind, on-air reporters.

[Instinct]
[BuzzFeed]

This video, released by Caltrain to promote public safety, reminds us that it's never a good idea to go around train track safety barriers/beat the train.

SFGate reports:

The video, from the morning of Feb. 18, shows a group of pedestrians safely crossing the tracks near the Redwood City Station. Then a man ducks under the flashing pedestrian warning gate and runs directly into the path of the speeding southbound express train, avoiding a collision by mere feet.

Last year, thirteen people were struck and killed by Caltrain. On Monday morning, if you recall, a man was hit and killed by a southbound freight train crossing into Berkeley from Albany.

[ABC 7]
[SFGate]
[CBS SF]

SFist loves KTVU's Heather Holmes. So we hope she isn't miffed about this video we're posting, one that shows her swallowing snot leaking from her nose. (Yeah. I'm sorry.)

The nostril meltdown happened, fittingly enough, while she was reporting on a protest at the Miley Cyrus concert at Oakland Arena.

For her part, Holmes had a sense of humor about the whole thing:

[h/t: Rich Lieberman, Gawker]

Call it click bait. Say that SFist is trying to rile you up. But this cafe/deli's sign, smack on Market and Sixth, is in poor taste. Crazy? No, not really. But tone deaf for sure. Certainly not a great way for a business to ingratiate itself into the changing area, into a neighborhood where residents who suffer from addiction and alcoholism are routinely shamed and demonized by outsiders.

That said, Machine Coffee & Deli, a 20-month-old cafe — replete with reclaimed wood, craft coffee, makers during lunch hour, and all that jazz — is a great spot. Like Show Dogs and the soon-to-be-shuttered Pearl's Deluxe Burger, they're helping revive the area. They should probably change their sign.

UPDATE: The cafe responds.

[Initially reported by Uptown Almanac]

Oh boy, do I love editorial notes left in a published piece. A glimpse inside the minds that run your favorite publication. Take, for example, today's death announcement of former child star Shirley Temple in the Chron.

Shirley's shocked face says it all.

In reality, LaSalle or his editor probably didn't want to use cliche words in the headline. Understandable. They eventually went with "Child star Shirley Temple dies at age 85."

On the plus side, Temple is now eligible for the publication's top dead people.

[Romenesko]

Carondelet High School, a private Catholic school in Concord, came under fire this week after adding "racially insensitive" items to the Friday lunch menu. Fried chicken, watermelon and cornbread were set to feed the all-girls school in honor of Black History Month.

Oops.

"I'd like to apologize for this announcement and any hurt this caused students, parents or community members," school principal Nancy Libby said in a letter issued Tuesday. "Please know that at no time at Carondelet do we wish to perpetrate racial stereotypes, and we indeed work diligently to do just the opposite."

Just how the jaw-dropping menu got the KTVU-ian green light remains a mystery. The Oakland Tribune has more:

The Black Student Union, which is run through De La Salle High School -- the neighboring boys' Catholic school — and includes members from both campuses, wanted to do something to celebrate Black History Month, according to Ditzel.

Libby's letter was not specific about how the menu decision was made but mentioned that "adults made mistakes causing this situation and that we were doing our best to learn from those mistakes and to bring that knowledge to the CHS experience."

University of San Francisco professor James Taylor told NBC Bay Area why the menu wasn't cool, saying, "Chicken, watermelon, collard greens — these stereotypes of black Southern culture that come from the same place where the N-word comes from." Also, as NBC note, fried chicken and watermelon were heavily featured during the unfortunate era of blackface entertainment.

Carondelet High School cultural sensitivity and diversity training TK.

[Oakland Tribune]
[NBC Bay Area]

Over at 23rd and Castro today, Eric Littell snapped this shot of a truck tipped over onto a car. The monstrous vehicle, it seems, was carrying a heavy load. Oops.

Please be advised.

[@ericlittell, via @castro_biscuit]

As we noted yesterday, it wasn't the worst year we can remember our municipal transit system having in recent memory, but it wasn't a great one! Here's our roundup of the ways in which Muni did its usual job of sucking, and occasionally injuring people, in 2013.

And they've still got a few hours left, but we're hoping for the best for all those of you relying on Muni for your New Year's getting-around.

We begin with an incident that, admittedly, was not Muni (or BART's) fault.

March 11
Man Killed In Montgomery Muni/BART Elevator Shaft
The man appeared to be homeless, and had somehow gotten into the elevator shaft to sleep on top of an elevator car, where he was subsequently crushed.

April 4
Muni Driver Struck By Muni Bus In Muni Yard
They're not even safe among their own.

May 23
Muni Meltdown Hobbles Commute This Morning, Last Night
Tale as old as time: Some faulty overhead wires on the N-Judah and J-Church lines cause system-wide meltdown that affects two days worth of commutes.

June 17
Mayor Lee Unveils New Fleet Of Hybrid Muni Buses That Immediately Break Down
A nice little PR snafu on the day that the mayor unveiled a new fleet of 62 biodiesel-electric hybrid Muni coaches — the bus carrying the mayor and his team from Pier 48 back to City Hall broke down on the way there, and they had to get off and wait for the next one.

June 20
Muni Bus Crashes Into Car At Fell & Masonic
This was a nasty one at one of the city's craziest intersections. Bus driver injured, Volkswagen smashed up. Big mess.

July 17
Foot-racers beat the 22-Fillmore over Fillmore hill, like they always do

August 2
38 Geary Catches Fire

August 8
Muni Bus Catches Fire On Geary Boulevard
Yep, this happened twice in a week.

August 26
Muni Bus And Tour Bus Collide In The Financial District

September 3
N-Judah Hits Pedestrian At 9th Avenue
We're pretty sure she survived.

September 6
Private Shuttle Bus And Historic Muni Car Collide
The F-line gets into fender-benders sometimes, too.

September 17
Four riders suffer minor injuries when Muni bus stops short to avoid collision [Bay City News]

September 18
City Audits Muni, Finds That It Indeed Sucks
It turns out, due to drivers on sick leave and a lack of trained backup drivers, the system canceled 38 runs a day, on average, last year.

October 2
14-Mission Bus Hits Car, Three Passengers Hospitalized
This happened at 20th and Mission, and the car was trying to pull out of a parking space. Maybe they should have known that the bus was not going to slow down, let alone stop, for them?

October 10
N-Judah Collides With Car In The Sunset

October 18
Cyclist Killed By Muni Bus Near Bryant And Division
A 27-Bryant killed an elderly man, 78-year-old Cheng Jin Lai, during the morning commute in a chaotic intersection. It remains unclear who was at fault.

November 13
Muni Train Takes Off From Castro Station Full Of Passengers, Without Driver
This was a fun one. Thankfully no one was hurt.

December 29
Teen Struck By Muni Train In Bayview, Train Does Not Stop
Details are still few on this one, but it seems as though the T-line operator did not know that he or she had struck a 17-year-old girl near Third and Hollister.

All previous Muni coverage on SFist.

In some ways, this seems like it could've been the perfect crime. Who would suspect a fast food manager of robbing his very own store at gunpoint? But that's just what happened when Felix Becerra, 42, held up a Pleasanton McDonald's on August 28.

Oakland Tribune/Bay Area News Group has more:

Police say about 3 a.m. Aug. 28, Becerra climbed through the drive-thru window of the store where he works wearing a white, full-face mask and white gloves and pointed a revolver at his own employees while ordering them into the office to retrieve cash from the safe, Pleasanton Police Sgt. Kurt Schlehuber said. Once the employees handed over the money, Becerra demanded they go into the freezer and not come out for 30 minutes.

Although successful in evading capture the first time, he blew it when he tried knocking over another McD's. He hit again Sept. 2 at a San Mateo McDonald's,"this time entering the store, forcing employees into the refrigerator at gunpoint, and ordering a worker to open the restaurant's safe," but was caught later that night along I-880, "where police found a look-alike gun and cash from the holdup in his car." Oops.

Becerra confessed to both crimes. He now sits in the San Mateo County Clink, booked on armed robbery charges.

[Oakland Tribune]
[Pleasanton Patch]

Earlier this week a brand new bike lane opened alongside the East Span of the Bay Bridge. It was definitely a win for the bike contingent, in the sense that it was 100% more bike lane than the previous span, but also sort of a dud because it's still 50% shy of a full ride across the Bay. But we digress: at least one person has already managed to miss (or avoid) said bike lane entirely, opting to ride on the shoulder lane of the road deck instead.

Local automobile passenger/Instagram user daveeprice captured the scene Thursday morning:

And helmetless to boot.

On the real Bay Bridge bike path, which we should point out does not yet actually connect to Yerba Buena and Treasure Island, noted chronicler of bad behavior Stanley Roberts found a few other folks playing fast and loose with the rules:

Previously: All Bay Bridge coverage on SFist

Feeling trapped at work on this sunny day? Can't wait to get out of town for your Labor Day weekend? At least you're not this guy, who managed to get his big-rig royally jammed up on Divisadero.

We're not sure, but it could be the same spot that saw this identical situation back in 2009. Drivers take heed: that gigantic container attached to your cab can and will run aground on these hills. Same goes for buses like this Google shuttle that got stuck on a Noe Valley hill.

As in all things, common sense should prevail when attempting to drive in this city.

Bad day? U could be this guy with a tractor-trailer jammed up on Divisadero in #sanfrancisco. #TGIFnot #fail pic.twitter.com/p5OxrI7rdi

— christopher jerard (@jerard) August 30, 2013

For your late-afternoon, slow-news-day amusement, this delivery truck done got itself stuck on Romolo Place in North Beach.

According to Chad Fox, who caught the footage above, the siren song of Romolo tempts many; though few can survive its powerful, emasculating grip. He explains: "Trucks get hung up on that hill at least once a month, but also several times a week. Limos have been stuck and one even broke in half. Usually it's UPS, FedEx, USPS, and moving vans but a few Recology trucks have fallen victim as well."

Delightful.