Here at SFist, we don't like to name call -- mostly. But sometimes there are certain stories that we read with (a lot of) choice swear words on our tongue. So pardon us while we play this story as straight as we can; we'll leave the incendiary comments to you.

Larry Ellison, CEO of software company Oracle Corp., will be given a $3 million tax cut on his property located in San Mateo County. The 23-acre site, remodeled after a "Japanese emperor's 16th century country residence," according to the Gate, has been declared by Ellison and his lawyers as "functionally obsolete."

Despite $200 million in construction costs, the property is valued at $64.7 million; the property compound can be claimed as obsolete because "there is a finite market for high-end luxury homes, limited appeal for 16th-century Japanese architecture and the 'over improvements' and 'excessive' landscaping are costly to maintain."

Who knew?

San Mateo granted Ellison the tax break, despite the obvious benefits a cool $3 mil could have brought San Mateo County. According to a breakdown in the article, here are the city programs that would have stood to benefit from the taxes:

Printed phone directories had their place alongside computers back when Sting would show off his dot matrix printer and the Apple Lisa (or whatever) that he used to make music. But now, computers and cell phones have supplanted the good old phone book. Ergo, Do Not Want! Also, the automated phone call that "confirms our receipt" of the "real" phone book? Can you guess? Also, Do Not Want! Sorry.