"This is Gavin Newsom, what the hell do you want?" Newsom (might have) said when he answered yesterday's one millionth call to 311.

Since its launch in April, 311 helps SF residents bypass "over 2,300 telephone numbers that existed previously to access city services...[and] reduces calls to the City’s 911 center, where over 50% of calls received are for non-emergency services." (Really? Like, "Hi, I just called to chat, is all" or "I just saw Loni Anderson over on Chestnut!" kind of non-emergency calls? Because there should be an eleven-number just for those. That would be awesome.)

And what was the one millionth call concerning? A report of upturned newspaper racks at Geary and Kearny. Newsom told the man that he would make sure the problem was fixed right-quick, and to have a nice day. Us, we would have asked him if his arms were broken.

San Francisco's other and inferior eleven, 511, has no comment as of this time.