Lotta stuff going on today, a lot of which we've mentioned before: Another Hole In The Head continues and the Black Film Festival gets started! Also, it's the Berkeley Edge Fest. Here's some other stuff too. --Ha ha ha ha ha ha!! It's Critical Ass! There's a naked bike ride to protest overuse of fossil fuels. Noon, starting at Justin Herman Plaza. Don't forget the sunscreen. --Well, this is an unfortunate segue: SF Recycling is......

To Little Miss Golden Gate Park, princess of the City,

Honey, I'm sick of you and your flat-ass panhandle getting all the attention. You think you're the only park in the whole City of San Francisco? Well listen up greenbeard, 'cause it's time somebody showed you the real San Francisco.

You know that sparkling brilliance that lights up the night sky south of Chavez? That's me GG, and my name is Miss McLaren Park -- Lady McLaren if you're nasty.

The SFPD found the 5-month-old baby whose father claimed she was stolen from the back seat of his car in the Mission when he went out to grab some smokes. They found her body in a remote area of McLaren Park. For those of you who thought something about this case didn't sound right, consider yourselves vindicated: the father is now considered the main suspect in the murder. (We knew those Mission hipsters going to......

KRON 4 viewers are the best! After seeing a heartwrenching news clip on KRON 4 about a kitten stuck in a pipe for two days, a KRON 4 watcher who works as an excavator was moved to go down to the pipe and help find Smoky the cat. Thanks to his help, the rescuers were able to locate Smoky in the pipe and get her out. She's doing fine, thanks for asking! The only other animal news around here is pit bull-related. So the Peninsula Humane Society is offering $10 to anyone who brings in a pit bull to be spayed or neutered. And two pit bulls who attacked two people and three dogs at the end of May in McLaren Park were found to be "vicious and dangerous" by Animal Cops SF hero and Dog Court Judge Officer Bill Herndon, and will be euthanized. One of the dogs had mangled the hand of a guy trying to break up the fight, and the other had disemboweled (yikes!) another dog (which survived!). ...

We take a rare spin to the North of Market crime scene and relate the Examiner's tale of woe about a "high-flying" Pac Heights couple who came back to their apartment on Fillmore and Pacific to find that someone had stolen $100,000 worth of uninsured jewelry from a safe that they had failed to lock. The jewelry included a $25,000 engagement ring engraved with the words "The Love Of My Life" and a $11,500 wedding band. The rich, they're different from you and us. Have you seen a fluffy doggie wandering around SFO, just like in Homeward Bound 2: Lost in San Francisco (only without Michael J. Fox)? A championship bichon frise named Ryland was reported stolen from the cargo area Tuesday morning. Ryland, who was traveling from Sacto to China, was last reported seen being carted off by a man wearing a tan shirt and jeans who then jumped in his white Toyota 4Runner and then took off "at a high rate of speed." $3000 reward! And last night, the SFPD found a dead body in a burning car in McLaren Park, after responding to a report of shots being fired. The SFPD reports that it is investigating the incident as a homicide. You cannot slip anything past the SFPD! ...

Our concert picks for the week of 4/21-4/27. If you're in the mood for something different tonight, Grupo Fantasma plays their genre-busting Tejano at Red Devil Lounge, or check out three new buzz bands, Dogs Die in Hot Cars, Phoenix and Joy Zipper, at Great American. Popscene is giving away free copies of the Dandy Warhols/Brian Jonestown Massacre documentary DIG! in honor of a performance by Joel Gion's new project The Dilletantes. Toots and the......