A lonelyheart would very much like to reconnect with an extra that he met on the set of Milk. (It's not us, by the way. If you recall, we were deemed too grotesque to star in the film about former SF Supervisor Harvey Milk, and haven't left our apartment since.) We're posting it because how they met would make a great story for the two to tell their grandchildren one day. Sigh. Hot Cop......

-- Some very sad news: former SFist editor, writer, and gem of an all-around guy, Jeremy Nisen, switched addresses for now. Aw. But never fear, you can still catch his brilliance over at Curbed. Yay! [Curbed SF] -- We get introduced to a new KTVU personality heading to the Bay Area. Because you just can't stop on-air talent. Ever. [Culture Blog] -- AM shooting in the TL takes the life of teenager. [Examiner] --......

Last week's winner, the SF Weekly: Someone's angry with the Bouncer. Local progressive Adam Werbach is a Walmart sellout. Why won't anyone endorse the mayor? Cover article: the back story about the Haight neighborhood activist killed in an S/M session gone wrong. These drawings illustrating the piece are pretty rad, though (see left) -- did Matt Smith do 'em? A Hank Williams Birthday Karaoke Sing-Off???? There's a tear in our beer too! The anti-war Berkeley......

Last week's winner, the Bay Guardian. We should totally put needle disposal boxes in Golden Gate Park. Also, C.W. Nevius says that Newsom called him and yelled at him for 45 minutes after he wrote his first article on the issue. We'd put that call on mute. Gentrification is destroying Polk Street. City contractors still use sweatshop labor. Annalee Newitz has mice. Sonic Reducer's still at the Guardian. Cover article: Local bands to watch. You've......

-- Newsom bats his eyes at progressives. [BeyondChron] -- Blue Angels to be banned in SF? [Examiner] -- Islamic Center of the East Bay's recent blaze decried as an "act of terror" by local Muslim leaders. [Chron] -- Man who attacked Holocaust survivor/scholar Elie Wiesel at Westin San Francisco Market Street (formerly the Argent Hotel) apologizes. Aw. Warm fuzzies for all. [ABC 7] -- Benjamin Wachs on crime and Big Brother. No, not Big......

-- Jarring tale about employees wearing flip-flops and shorts to work? Or story about famous writers reading to employees at Google headquaters? You decide. [Chron] -- Making a buck out of lice-topped children. [Examiner] -- California wants construction equipment to run cleanly. [LeftInSF] -- Noontime Market Street shootings. [Chron, KTVU, KPIX] -- Republicans screwing with and screwing up the budget. [BeyondChron] -- Marke B. says bye-bye to Tammy Faye. [SFBG]......

-- Bambi Lake-inspired cabaret duo Kiki and Herb perform at ACT. (Also, did you know that they met at Café Flore in the Castro before they became totally famous? It's true.) Show starts at 8 p.m. at American Conservatory Theater, 415 Geary; $20-$60. -- Marke B judges a damp jockstrap contest come midnight at ‘70s/‘80s retro dance club “The Rod.” Damn perverts. All of them. Goes from 10 p.m. to 4 a.m. at Deco......

-- Are you ready for the genius that is Peaches Christ and her Midnight Mass cult-film series? [Bay Area Reporter] -- Television -- glorious, warm, loving television! -- on BART cars? Hmm. [Inside Bay Area, Oakland Tribune] -- Matt Stroud takes a brief, much-needed break from his Rocky-like boxing bootcamp training. [The Snitch] -- Affordable housing advocates get pinched by the fuzz. Remember, purveyors of justice: don't drop the soap! [Fog City Journal] --......

Last week's winner, as picked by SFist Sarah -- the Bay Guardian! Steven T. Jones takes over the opening editorial from Tim Redmond this week. It does not mention Burning Man! Recalls go too far. Club 6 -- still open. Why can't the Chron make money? Now serving at Cafe Gratitude: "I Am....Sued." San Francisco water may be causing rashes. Thank goodness Ed Jew doesn't have to worry about that! (okay, to be fair, we're......

Last week's winner, the East Bay Express. Rad dream cartoon this week. Feeding your pets raw meat. Are people trying to sneak into the Berkeley school system? Cover article: not sending juvies to jail. The Dixie Chicks play Oakland this Friday. The Slits are in town. A review of Xyclo -- Oakland Vietnamese restaurant, with a cool name. Old people went to the Rolling Stones show. And Tenacious D. Next up: the Bay Guardian. Nancy......

Guess who got endorsed on the cover by last week's winner, the Bay Guardian? Where's the green beads, Chris? Letters about fixie bikes, and Tim Redmond notes that Renee Saucedo shouldn't have endorsed Prop 90 (the overbroad eminent domain one). Dan Noyes, gadfly. Also endorsed by the Guardian: Phil Angelides, Jerry Brown, Leland Yee, Barbara Lee, and Krissy Keefer. And Steven T. Jones had nothing at all to do with their endorsement of Alix Rosenthal.......

Last week's winner, the SF Weekly: Matt Smith on defrauding the retarded. Chris Daly thinks the SFSOS flyer about him is funny. Cover article: graffiti artist Vulcan. Win a free copy of season 2 of the American Office. Meredith eats outside. Vashti Bunyan, the Silver Jews, and the Headphone Festival. Next up, the Guardian. Hey, Vashti Bunyan and the Silver Jews again! Tim Redmond had a nice time at the Sue Bierman memorial, but didn't......

It's been so long since we did this, we don't even remember who won the last time we read the weeklies -- so we're kicking it off with the Metro, because they have the most easily-accessible cover art on their website. Cover: World Cup madness in the South Bay! We had no idea you could get Lyme disease out on the West Coast. RonGon should try and look sorrier in all his public appearances. And......

...any way we want to, got it? This week -- with 100% less poo! Well, we hope. Last week's triumph of the Guardian was a shocker, let's see how our three competitors fare in this, the last We Read The Weeklies of 2005. The Guardian pulls no punches with its cover story on The Year in Film. Daly vs the Ellis Act. Mirkarimi's Comcast metaphor comes up again. More on the HopeNet raid. Fascinating......