Sweet Jesus, somebody lost their pet python in Oakland, and put up this frightening "lost snake" sign to warn neighbors. The ball python, described as "4 feet long, black & brown, will be looking for "heat sources such as a hot water heater." Sounds terrifying. Might we suggest luring the creature back with rabbit bait?

Oakland animal officials went on a frenzy on Wednesday to find homes for "21 malnourished, deformed rabbits seized from a Lake Merritt area backyard, where they were being raised for food." The animal raid, according to the Chronicle, "comes just as Oakland enters into the debate over urban agriculture regulations, deciding how to monitor livestock - its treatment and slaughter - in one of the country's hotbeds of urban homesteading."

[Oakland Local, Chron]

(By Joe Kukura)

Ready? OK!

Hey! Is that Michael Emerson up there on the right, who plays the sinister creep cult leader Ben Linus on LOST? And is that Carrie Preston on the left, whom we recognize from Transamerica and Desperate Housewives? And is that Chester in the middle, the lovable sexual predator of the burlesque cheerleading troupe The COCK-Ts? “Like, totally for reals!” on all three counts… as Frameline 2008 had an enormous cheergasm for last night’s screening of Ready? OK! at The Victoria.

The premise of this film is pretty much can’t-miss – an adorably outgoing 10-year-old boy decides to go out for the cheerleading squad at a catholic school, and has a litany of hilarious conflicts with cruel classmates, furious nuns, and his flustered mom. But in contemporary films, can’t-miss ideas usually do miss… and that’s why Ready? OK! is so exceptionally rad. Where you expect preachy and PC, it goes for silly and slapstick. It doesn’t try to be a message movie, it tries to be a funny movie and slap-happily succeeds. Dialogue gas are piled onto editing gags and topped with sight gags. They’re not all funny, but they do all work – keeping the plot engaging and adding humanity to every character. The laughs come less frequently near the end when it gets all redemptionny, but by that point this silly thing has you totally hooked. It is visibly not a high-budget film, but Hollywood hasn’t come up with a sweeter and funnier comedy than this all year.

Hey, did you find a notebook carrying proof that the Lord above exists? If so, Ken would like it back. If you have said book of miracles, find Ken's East Bay based number here.

Proposition C is a call to "convert" Alcatraz into a "Global Peace Center." The idea being that Alcatraz gives off negative vibes and so should be replaced by an "International Conference Center For Non-Violent Conflict Resolution" which will send forth such positive vibes that there will be no more war, violence will cease to exist, and the writers strike will end so we can get a full season of "Lost" in. To help usher in all this peace, the center will also include a "Harmonium", a "multi- media facility of Laser Light, holographic sound, and fragrance" that will shoot out holographs into the Bay and have it look much like how it's depicted here in these posters (warning-- contains New Age-y-ness). All of this is depicted in this nine minute YouTube clip that also features massive New Age-y-ness

The idea is the brainstorm of the Light Party's founder, Da Vid (yes, that's his real name). Opposing it are merchants at Fisherman's Wharf who think they'll lose money due to the in tourism, CADAR (Citizens Against Dumbass Resolutions), as well as pretty much everyone who doesn't listen to whale songs on a regular basis. If passed, the measure would pretty much have to get approval from Congress as Alcatraz is National Historic Landmark.

Good luck with that.

And for those interested, somehow, this resolution got just enough votes (20,000) to be put on the ballot, thus proving people will sign anything if shoved in front of their face by some hippie dude in front of Safeway.

Barton Carroll (seen above) will be headlining, on Tuesday, at Hotel Utah. Carroll's new CD, The Lost One, comes out the same day. His genuine, story-telling folk songs creates the perfect North Carolina backwoods' atmosphere of his childhood home. Wednesday, if you are ready for some true rock n' roll, then head over to The Independent to see Grace Potter and the Nocturnals.

Vampire Weekend is back on Thursday. This time, they are taking their over-buzzed, yet still completely lovable, afro-punk music to 330 Ritch Street hosted by the ever-so-hot popscene. Last time, we were at popscene, it was packed. We have a feeling, it will be again. Don't worry if you already bought tickets to The Lovemakers (who we recommended a couple of weeks ago), Vampire Weekend will be back for two nights in March.

For our weekend recommendations and the full weekly listings, take the jump...

Each Tuesday we will feature new music that should (or whatever) be on your radar.

Don't be fooled by the juvenile hand-writing or Crayola markers on the cover of this album. This is anything but juvenile. Each song Sia creates an emotional journey - sometimes literal, sometimes metaphorically - where she discovers something very important. The life-saving "Little Black Sandals" lets us see her struggle on starting a new life. She sings, "These little black sandals/Are walking me away/These little black sandals/Saved my life today." Sia travels back and forth between hopeful optimism and deep emotional betrayal. The heartfelt pleas in "The Girl" seem a bit shallow until you realize that the song is really called "The Girl [You Lost to Cocaine]." "No I don't need drama, so I'm walking away/Yeah I am a girl with a lot on her plate." Yikes.

In "You Have Been Loved" her lover walks away and she is left behind feeling empty: "Only sadness remains/And it will pass." This album ends up being emotionally-charged without being superficial and meaningless yet somehow it still remains upbeat. If you missed her last show at the Fillmore, it's okay, she's back in February (the 18th to be exact). Get your tickets now; it was nearly sold-out last time.

Download: "Day Too Soon" and "You Have Been Loved"

For more info on other CD releases, take the jump...

Oh this is a smashing idea.

Jennifer Gooch's site One Cold Hand reunites missing single gloves with their owners. Yay! Since her site opened in March of this year, her finds have spiked considerably since winter began last month. And so has her press coverage: the New York Times, USA Today, and the Associated Press, to name just a few, have all picked up on OCH so far. The AP article notes that Gooch's first glove was "was a moist, lambskin glove that someone had propped up on a ledge on campus." (We're not exactly sure why, but: ew.)

Although not many of her found gloves have reunited with their other halves, Jennifer says that "[i]t's kind of whimsical and bittersweet ... it makes you feel there's this opportunity for benevolence." Well then, That said, it should come as no surprise to you that the Gooch is also a graduate student in the Carnegie Mellon University School of Art.

Sadly, her site -- which wonderfully breaks down single, lost gloves into categories like "leather," "left," "mixed materials," "ambidextrous," "synthetic," and so on -- isn't available in SF or the Bay Area. Not sure we're the glove-wearing kind of city that is Pittsburgh, but still, we personally lose several pairs of gloves during the winter season. Something like this would be nice to have around these parts. Alas. (Look at that, it is bittersweet!)

[Obligatory filmed-back-in-the-1970's-before-you-were-born reference here. Waste five minutes of your life watching Chuck Rodent battle the guy who played Bob in Lost in Translation here. "That kangaroo stole my ball!" Indeed.]

The dude who plunked down $752,467 to get the home-run ball that is #756 has decided to put it up to an online vote as to what to do with it. If you go to his site, www.vote756.com, you can vote for these three options:

-Send the ball to the Hall of Fame
-Send the ball to the Hall of Fame but not before branding it with a big, fat asterisk
-Blast it into outer space

Personally, we like the idea of blasting it into outer space in hopes that someday, some aliens will come upon it and think it's a message and so send a spaceship in response, one that mistakenly could destroy the planet Earth and so some futuristic starship captain will have to save the day, but not before nailing one of the aliens on the ship of course.

We also think there are some other possible options not considered, such as:

-Being adopted by Angelina Jolie
-New White House press spokesman
-Contestant on VH-1's "The Pick Up Artist" (let's see the pick-up experts try and get the ball laid)
-Next mysterious object on "Lost"
-Go into rehab with Lindsey Lohan