The dude who plunked down $752,467 to get the home-run ball that is #756 has decided to put it up to an online vote as to what to do with it
What Would You Do with Barry Bonds' Ball?
SFist Tonight
-- Clueless and Mean Girls: Jane Austin's Emma interpreted via a mid-'90s Beverly Hills screens first, starring Paul Rudd (Eee!) and a pre-PETA Alicia Silverstone. Tina Fey's ode to high school bitches follows, starring a pre-coked out Lindsey Lohan. Starts at 7:30 p.m. at the Bridge Theater, 3010 Geary (at Blake); $7.
Rehab is For Quitters
The fallout of Gavin’s Bad Week has taken another turn, much to SFist's already bored chagrin, in that he just announced today that he's going to seek counseling for boozing. Now that "the Sopranos" is over, maybe that could be the sequel-- Dr. Melfi takes on as her new patient a handsome but troubled Mayor who breaks down everytime he sees snowy plovers by a pool. Newsom apparently told all of his Department Heads today what's up and to let them know that it won't entail him going into rehab so he'll be around to be Mayor. There goes our fantasy of him hanging with Lindsey Lohan and Mike Tyson in rehab. We also wonder if he'll do AA like Ruby did and so have to confess to everyone who he has wronged. Imagine that press conference.
Day Around the Bay
-Lindsey Lohan's best bud, Al Gore, shows up in town to rally the troops to fight Global Warming. Save us, Al, save us!
Paris Hilton Is Coming. We Repeat, Paris Hilton is Coming
We have a Paris Hilton alert! Code Red! Paris Hilton Alert!
Yes, it’s true, the lovely and talented Ms. Hilton herself will be in town tomorrow as she signs autographs to promote her new perfume, Heiress. Yes, Heiress, the perfume for people who want nothing more out of life than fall back-ass into money and the people who wish they were (after watching Zoolander for the umpteenth time last night, we’re a little surprised it’s not called "Derelict") The signing will be at Macy's in Union Square tomorrow around twelve noon. We're so excited we're schvitzing right now.
Your San Francisco Giants: Grrr...Aaarrggh...
We went away for a long weekend last week, all happy and satisfied over the state of les Noir et L'Orange. They had just taken two from the Fish with the Pirates coming into town for a four-game weekend series. Hello, Big Giants Run. Then we came back from Tahoe only to discover that the Giants wound up losing three out of four games to the Pirates. As in the last place, cellar dwelling Pirates. As in the well recognized worst franchise in the National League Pirates. At home. And suddenly a home series looking as easy as Lindsey Lohan at a party at Koi turned into one of those nightmare type weekends that make you want to never leave your apartment.
SFIFF: A Prairie Home Companion
closed the San Francisco International Film Festival Thursday night to a sell-out crowd. Despite the fact that public radio fans plus Robert Altman devotees do not equal red carpet spectacle, SFIFF did roll out the (albeit very short) red carpet guarded by velvet ropes, with staffers wearing head sets and staring officiously down their noses at the unwashed masses. There were even paparazzi hovering on the other side of the velvet rope, although when we passed by they were mostly just joking around with each other. We would have stuck around to gawk on the off chance that Lindsey Lohan might show up and have a wardrobe malfunction or some other US Weekly notable moment but those public radio fans move pretty fast in those Birkenstocks and we had to race inside to grab a seat before they were all filled with KQED tote bags, Patagonia jackets and hemp scarves.
About Those Photographs, Pictures Of..
What is there to say about the Barry in Drag photos that hasn't already been said? Like everyone else, our first reaction was "what the..?" followed quickly by "that's pretty funny" with a little bit of "hmmm...that does look like steroid bloat" thrown in at the end for good measure. You have to hand it to the dude, in one fell photo-op swoop, he managed to get himself some really good publicity. Who doesn't love it when big, burly athletic dudes show up in drag?
SFist Doesn't Watch the State of the Union
Today is the President's State of the Union speech, which basically means staying completely away from the TV or the non-Lindsey Lohan obsessed internets for the night lest we get over-run with a tidal wave of bile that these things cause. We hear this year's speech is going to be a doozy too-- while W. shreds the constitution, all the Republicans in congress will sit back and smoke cigars lit by $100 bills given to them by Jack Abramoff.
Which raises the question of what to do? Well, there's always NetFlix, of course, as well as good old TiVo. It's also a good night to go to the movies and while Brokeback Mountain is all too obvious of a choice, not to mention something we've all seen by now, we'd like to suggest the Underworld: Evolution as there's something appropriate about watching a blood-drenched movie featuring both Vampires, Werewolves and Kate Beckinsale in a black leather outfit. Ba Bow!
SchwartzenWatcher Special Edition: Warren Can't Wait
With only a few days left before the Very Special Election, the Governor hit the campaign trail hoping for one of those idyllic campaign weekends where all the crowds are friendly, the energy crackling, and the pictures good. So he hopped on a bus, got a visit from everybody’s favorite Republican, John McCain, and spoke to reporters about how much he was looking forward to getting everyone in the state together to fix the state’s problems.
And what did he get for his troubles?
On Saturday, at a rally in San Diego, Warren Beatty and his wife, Annette Bening tried to crash one of his rallies, along with a crowd of protestors. They had been trailing the Governor on their own Magical Mystery Bus, the "Truth Squad Bus" and followed the Governor to a rally being held at an airplane hangar in San Diego. When they tried to get in, they were given the "sorry, closed party" by a hastily assembled squad of the Governor's aides who told Beatty that he wasn't allowed into the rally because he wasn't on the list to get in. Just change political rally to Koi and it's just like Paris and Nicole. Which is kind of scary when you think about it because the way things are going, SFist will someday be writing about Lindsey Lohan leading a protest against Governor Wilmer Valderrama.
Wayans World
It looks like the Bay Area is going to be getting a new film studio. In Oakland. Take that San Francisco. The people behind the new studio? The Wayans brothers-- Keenan Ivory, Damon, Shawn, Marlon, and Tito-- the auteurs behind "In Living Color," Scary Movie and White Chicks. On Tuesday, an Oakland City Council committee unanimously approved a preliminary plan to move their production facilities to the old Oakland Army Base. If the City Council approves the plan, the brothers have a year to put together an agreement. So far, the plan calls for retail stores, a 30-acre film production studio with offices and a 10-acre back lot for production. Oh, and a 30-acre theme park with a hotel. Yes, we said an amusement park.
According to the plans, the brothers want to build an amusement park adjacent to the studio. The park will be like "Universal Studios in Los Angeles but with a hip, urban atmosphere reflected in the Wayans brothers' comedies." And yes, the mind boggles. The Homey the Clown Funland Park? Fly Girls of the Caribbean? The White Chicks Nightclub Ride featuring an animatronic Lindsey Lohan getting into a cat fight with animatronic Simpson sisters while an animatronic Paris Hilton does blow in the bathroom? Either way, we can hardly wait.
"All Tommorow's Jokes" at the Hemlock Tavern
Okay, so you don't understand why the Dowd/Friedman double-bill Friday night is the most exciting thing ever. And the rest of your Friday night social calendar is about as slim pickings as the new coked out Lindsey Lohan. Well, then SF Sketchfest, Club Chuckles, and The Sound of Young America might just have the thing for you as they present "All Tommorow's Jokes" at the Hemlock Tavern tomorrow night. Yep, the Hemlock Tavern: it's not just for alt-country fan boys and smokers anymore. And the show happens not just once, but twice, as there's a show at 9 and 11:30.
"All Tommorow's Jokes" features the comedy stylings of music duo Hard N Phirm, stand up comedian Jasper Redd, the sketch comedy group Prank the Dean, and stand up comedian Brent Weinbach. It’s hosted by another stand up comedian (go figure) Jordan Morris.
Tickets are $7 at the door.
Sean Penn Brings It
Peter Coyote (some stuff in the 60's that nobody remembers) have joined together to fight Proposition L. In the thirty-second trailer, Penn states that "proposition L claims to save our theaters. In fact, it would hijack $10 million a year from city funds and give it to a group that has never managed a theater and didn't exist until they wrote this proposition."

