The spectrum of coke rage runs wide. It can go from harmless rolling of the eyes and a sigh to unnecessary shouting to Lindsay Lohan. For some, it goes much further. Take, for example, tenacious Juanita Marie Jones, 53, of Rochelle, GA. After receiving fake cocaine -- and, oh Jesus, the frenzy of mixed emotions one feels after buying bunk junk -- she went to the police in an effort to get her money back.......

Last week's winner, the SF Weekly! Letters from people who say they are not in a cult. An article about former SFist editor Eve Batey's promotion at the Chron! Go Eve! Also, they called us a "sassy" local blog. We loved Sassy! Cover article: A guy who makes money suing small businesses under the ADA. A review of the Kiki & Herb show. The Simpsons movie is okay. Meredith didn't much like her North Beach......

Peace in our times! Bikers and car drivers, with the help of none other than the Honorable Gavin Newsom, have worked out a permanent solution to the Golden Gate Park Healthy Saturdays impasse. We know, we're totally amazed too -- next, the mayor's office will say they've worked it all out between the Shias and the Sunnis; Lindsay Lohan and Hilary Duff; and Pat Murphy and Chris Daly. We're nominating Gavin for a Nobel peace......

UPDATE! Let's just pretend that our embarassingly mispelled hedline is a Lindsay Lohan joke. Yeah, sure, that's the ticket. Thanks for sending in pix and video of your own experiences with Muni's near-meltdown (and please, remember to not be jerks when using your cameras). Didja catch us complaining on NBC11's news last night? (The reporter is still seeking comments from riders, BTW -- so send her an email.) As expected, Muni's still staggering around,......

type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"> We decided not to post your picture because we've seen enough of y'all to last a lifetime. Here's Gwen Stefani's video for "Sweet Escape" instead. As our blog hero, Perez Hilton, once said: "Jesus, get over yourselves...you're not even the poor man's TomKat!" ...

Oakland-based “global web property” Ask.com announced late last week that they’re phasing out the Jeeves persona that was beloved by some. Their reasoning was “user confusion,” in that bewildered users mistook the foppish cartoon for a real live British butler responding to their web queries, and would become flummoxed at having to type out complete questions instead of just keywords like “kittens” and “naughty college girls.” We in the SFist labs can’t say we’re......

First off, don't let the name of the program fool you. Dick Clark will NOT be hosting Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve this Friday. That privilege is going to Regis Philbin, and we think you already know how we feel about Regis. So skip it. Or go outside. Or go to sleep before midnight even strikes. Because New Year's Eve? Blows. In other news, this week TV offers up the inevitable "Year in......

…so we can accidentally hit people as we struggle to turn the pages while standing on BART! (sorry, neighbor.) Last week's cham-peen, the Guardian! Guess what the Guardian's worked up about? You'll never guess: PG&E! Also, an article providing a nice contrast to the Chron's unrelentingly pro-Newsom article series, about people falling through the cracks under Care Not Cash. Cover article: soldiers coming back from Iraq with post-traumatic stress disorder (well, sure). Annalee Newitz misses Joss Whedon. Sonic Reducer hated the new Lindsay Lohan album. Hooray For Anything got stuck directing traffic on Valencia this evening so no wank of the week. And to apologize for their absence over the past few weeks, the East Bay Express. Bottom Feeder gives some follow-up on the Stanford law student who became a prostitute and married one of the co-founders to Ask Jeeves.com. Apparently the law student was turned in to the IRS for tax evasion by Stone Cold Steve Austin's ex-girlfriend. A needle exchange group does one of those naked calendars to raise money. Is it just us or is that naked calendar thing getting kind of played out? People are getting botulism from a dirty batch of black tar heroin. Cover article: the dude who started dailykos.com (hey, did you hear there were a lot of bloggers covering the presidental election?). Places selling gingerbread houses, written up like real estate ads (FSBO). And hell yeah, a Jim Henson tribute band (the Dead Hensons) playing "upbeat hits" from Sesame Street, the Muppet Show, Fraggle Rock, and the Dark Crystal. (All together! One two three four five, six seven eight nine ten, eleven tweeeeeeeelve! The band notes that the funky guitar part in that song is actually kind of hard to play). The Weekly and the pick of the week, after the jump (let's all say it together: sorry, no Metro this week.) ...

roundup of the Bay Area weeklies...