Here's what we've missed in the world of Bay Area sports while trying to figure out who the Oceanic 6 are......

While the pairing seems unlikely (despite San Francisco being the "Paris of the West"), the Legion of Honor has received the, uh, honor of hosting the Marie-Antoinette exhibit. The show specifically focuses on Petit Trianon—Marie-Antoinette's personal retreat in Versailles—as well as the life and times of the lady herself. Paintings, furniture and anything else not bolted down in her house have been flown over here for display while the "cottage" (ahem) is being renovated.......

Morrissey is coming. And you know what that means? Clever lyrics, melancholia, and no tender morsels of tasty beef. Or chicken. Or even a Hot Pocket. Last month Leah Garchik mentioned that, "word from the Fillmore, where Morrissey is doing four shows at the end of September: 'Do not bring any meat to eat. He wants no meat whatsoever in the house!'" While we teeter on respecting the (privileged) choices of vegetarianism and veganism,......

Good thing we've got so many awesome Ed Jew rally pictures from last week -- so we can keep you up to date on the latest on Tapioca Ed! --Matier and Ross report that it looks like everyone's going to punt to Jerry Brown to make the final decision about whether to throw Ed Jew out of office or not over the residency issue. Update!: City Attorney Dennis Herrera has punted. Hike! --Meanwhile, Leah Garchik......

The City Attorney's gone through all the residency documents that beleaguered Burlingame boy and erstwhile supposed San Francisco Supervisor Ed Jew provided last week, and ---- baaaaaaaaahmp -- (that's supposed to be a buzzer sound like when you guess something that's not on the board on Family Feud): the City Attorney has concluded that the documents currently on file are insufficient to demonstrate that Ed Jew lives in San Francisco. Oh no, Ed Jew! Namely,......

A gay African-American high school English teacher at the private Urban School is recovering from three stab wounds he received a few weeks ago while eating at the Taqueria Cancun down near Mission and 29th Street. A woman came into the taqueria and started yelling racial and anti-gay slurs at people in the restaurant, and when the teacher and his friends tried to get away from her, she attacked him with the knife. The SFPD......

With Rita's blessing, we bring you a brand new column called "We Read the Glossies." It's just like "We Read the Weeklies" only with monthly glossies. Here we review the February issues of Diablo, San Francisco Magazine, San Jose Magazine, and 7x7....

Hip, hip, HOORAY! Hip, hip, HOORAY! Catherine Bigelow, the Chron society columnist, is back from vacation, and here with a special report on Wednesday night's SF Ballet Opening Gala! Number of people pictured: 24. Number of people pictured whom we recognize: 3 (the Shultzes and Jerry Yang, though we did also recognize Angelique Griepp's Oscar de la Renta dress from SFMike's blog). Minority count: 3 (12.5%). Getty v. Traina: Too bad Gavin's in Davos this......

That story about Manka's Inverness Lodge burning down not exciting enough for you? Well, how's this for exciting (and please, make sure you are sitting down as you read this): because of the fire, we almost lost the Gyllenhaals!!! And we're not just talking about Mr. Brokeback himself, but his sister Maggie too! No mention of Maggie's beau Peter Sarsgaard, the baby Gyllenhaal, or Toothy Tile's Jake's BFFs Lance Armstrong and/or Matthew McConaughey. ...

Hey, did you know today is Mayor Gavin Christopher Newsom Day in Manila? And we're celebrating by running another installment of our column: Who's Attacking Newsom Now! We ordinarily run this column along with its sister column, Who's Defending Newsom Now!, but -- well, it's looking kind of bleak on the Defending side this week, except for the spiffy Gavin Newsom 2008 thong to your right. We think that's for president, since the mayoral election......

Congratulations to Supervisor Bevan Dufty and his opposite-sex gay partner Rebecca Goldfader, on the birth of their daughter Sidney Maely Goldfader-Dufty on Monday! (You may remember that Dufty and Goldfader are both gay and continue to see same-sex partners, but have decided to co-parent Sydney together.) Just two days before Kimberly Guilfoyle! Sidney's 6 pounds 9 ounces, the family is doing well, and Bay Guardian political editor Steven T. Jones had no involvement in the......

Har har! We were going to post about this yesterday too, but forgot until today. Some wag managed to do an entire interview with KTVU Tuesday night about that fire near the Altamont Pass, under the name "Mike Litoris." KTVU has pulled the video from their website, no doubt out of shame, but the SFGate's Culture Blog's having some good clean fun with it, as is Leah Garchik. Leah, being a good reporter, did a......

Seniors at San Jose's Independence High aren't talking about who super-glued 180 classroom and library door locks on the first day of finals, even after the principal canceled the senior picnic and the school offered a $500 reward for information. A freshman said, "I thought it was mean. If I get an F on my final, I'm going to blame the seniors." Entrepreneurial! Leah Garchik tells a tale of a guy walking around in a......

This was first mentioned in a Leah Garchik column, but we have actual first-hand knowledge of CapGate from someone who was involved in l'affaire. Our story began last week when a mens softball team headed off to the Connecticut Yankee for some post-game celebratory drinks. As is softball players' wont as the Yankee is known as a sports bar and a good home for wayward New Englanders. So the group began to order and when the last person, a person who was most definitely wearing their baseball cap backwards, ordered, the bartender told him that they wouldn't serve him unless he turned his cap around. When the guy protested, the bartender announced to all of the backwards baseball cap wearers in the group that none of them would be served again unless they all turned their caps around. Some stayed (hey, they already paid for their drinks), some left in protest. ...

We've always wanted to be mischaracterized in a bullying fashion by the Chron's Pink Pages writer Aidin Vaziri! So Vaziri, on the SFGate's Culture Blog, pokes some gentle fun at us for posting the picture that all our astute commenters agreed was Photoshopped, of a purported Phil Lesh fan falling off the Warfield balcony. But what we don't get is that Aidin says no one actually fell off the balcony at all and that......

The Chron's Leah Garchik gets all the good dirt -- she breaks the news in Friday's The In Crowd that Gavin Newsom has parted ways with Scientologist/actress Sofia Milos. Your gossip hounds at SFist are bereft. On the bright side, this does give us a new fantasy to contemplate -- that Gavin charters a flight down to Barbados for Memorial Day, goes all The Graduate at the Guilfency nuptials ("KimberLEEEEE! KimberLEEE!!!"), and the two of......

Let's check in with San Francisco couple of the moment, CSI: Plumpjack -- how's the love blossoming between Mayor Gavin Newsom and actress/Scientology activist Sofia Milos? Leah Garchik reports that CSI: Plumpjack made an appearance at Willie Brown's 72nd birthday party, hosted up in wine country by big Democrat donor Darius Anderson, and then on Sunday afternoon, they caught a showing of that spelling bee musical. Are we the only ones who find that an interesting choice, in light of all of Newsom's press releases about being dyslexic? And we're not sure if this is CSI: Plumpjack related or not, but SFist Jon pointed out to us that Newsom's doing a press conference tonight at 6:30 p.m. with John Travolta, where Newsom and the star of Battlefield Earth are scheduled to "exchange gifts." It's ostensibly to promote the arrival of Qantas Air to SFO, but -- who wants to bet that Travolta's "gift" is a copy of Dianetics? (Travolta says he's glad Qantas is flying to San Francisco as I formed a great attachment to the city over the years." We're sure he has!) Oh, it's so TomKat! Soon Gavin will be striving to give birth silently too! Picture of Sofia Milos and John Travolta at Scientology event...

Entertainment galore from the ever-reliable SFPD Northern Station (.pdf). Not only the man featured in Leah Garchik's TIC on Friday (who was caught spraying graffiti on a billboard announcing the SFPD's Officer of the Month -- by the Officer of the Month. Ha!), but also a man dancing in a school auditorium after telling the principal he was a federal agent, a man hugging and licking a light pole, and a man unable to comply with officers' orders to kneel on the ground because the knife he was trying to conceal in his jeans pocket was too large. One less felon on the streets -- they finally caught the bail-skipping Village People cop! Victor Willis's sad saga has finally ended, as an officer in South SF stopped him with a female companion, and found cocaine and other drug paraphernalia in the car. Willis refused to give his name but was ID'ed by his snazzy 'fro and police officer uniform fingerprints at the station. And Berkeley is still reeling from the house party shooting this weekend. Parent Aderian Gaines was hosting a party at his house for his teenagers, so he could supervise and make sure they were safe. When Gaines confronted a guest carrying a gun, the guest shot him and fled the scene. The authorities say the party might have gotten out of hand because invitations were sent out by text message, and encourage you to invite people to your parties through "non-Internet" means in the future. ...

Wow, Gavin Newsom must really like big hats. (Yes, commenter Matt, we know you like big hats too.) Leah Garchik reported in yesterday's The In Crowd that when CSI: Plumpjack made their triumphant reappearance in San Francisco, Gavin took actress/Scientology activist Sofia Milos out for an evening of fun in North Beach -- first, a performance of Beach Blanket Babylon and then an apres-show at the Tosca bar. Hm..... now who was the last local politico we heard about taking a controversial dark-haired television personality on a date to Beach Blanket Babylon and the Tosca? .....oh right! That would be Gavin Newsom! Dude, it is cold to take the new girlfriend to the exact same places you took the ex-wife. Don't those memories of getting your picture taken there with her by Harper's Bazaar there mean anything to you? This is totally like when Bill Clinton gave Monica Lewinsky the same book of poetry he gave Hillary. ...

Hooray to us! We have now officially flogged the Gavin Newsom & Sofia Milos thing to death. But hey, we got in the paper of record -- thanks, Swells! We'd like to thank everyone who made this possible, including SFist Jon, who came up with the naming contest idea in the first place. And the winner of the First Annual Name That Newsom Couple is...... CSI Plumpjack!!!! Congratulations, commenter Dave! We'll be getting in touch with you to get your address to send you some fine, fine SFist swag. Looks like we should have had one extra entry, though -- the hot, hot name of "Milos + Guest." Leah Garchik reports that Getty Images has a picture of CSI: Plumpjack up on its site, with the caption "Actress Sofia Milos + guest arrive at Elton John's Academy Awards party." Is Getty Images affiliated with the same Gettys that funded Newsom's campaign? Are those checks made out to "plus Guest" as well? And finally, yesterday's Two Cents featured the question: "Would you rather read about Newsom's love life or potholes?" Is the Chron so hard-pressed for newsprint that there isn't room in the paper for both? Photo of "Sofia Milos + guest" by David Livingston, from Getty Images...

Gavin'll try anything to lower the crime rate around here! Leah Garchik triumphantly reports that Gavin was seen kissing CSI: Miami detective Sofia Milos goodbye at a North Beach cafe last Monday morning, around 2:00 a.m. Milos plays Det. Yelena Salas, who will be written off the series at the end of this season. In the Fametracker "Two Stars Enter, One Star Leaves" column, exotic homewrecker edition, Milos lost a hotly-contested battle to Ivana Milicevic, despite having played homewreckers like the woman who was dating Chandler and also some guy named Ethan on "Friends," Tony Soprano's hot mob boss cousin, Richard Lewis's girlfriend whom Larry hates on "Curb Your Enthusiasm," and the girl who married the guy on "Caroline In The City" before Caroline realized she was in love with him. Poor Kimberly Guilfoyle! It's never good when you have to compare yourself to a Lea Thompson character. That Newsom, though -- so he left the North Beach cafe around at 2:00 a.m. Monday morning. By noon the very next day, he was also espied in Napa at the Plumpjack Carneros Inn, brunching with a "young cute blonde." If that guy's motivated enough for ladies that he can get up after like four hours of sleep and schlep up to wine country on Presidents' Day for canoodling, why can't he solve the city's crime problems? Picture of Sofia Milos off her website. Is that fur?...

Sorry, PJ Corkery, for our terrible maligning of your gossip source-ery yesterday! As you may remember, Leah Garchik and the Chron on the one hand reported that the Gavin-Kimberly divorce was final, where PJ and the Ex on the other reported (.pdf, page 5) that the divorce paperwork was actually on hold. Your Political Junkie here at SFist speculated that maybe Leah's version of events was "more correct" because the Examiner had mysteriously refused to put PJ's article on its website yesterday. Well, eggs on faces and dishes of crow all around for Leah and for the Junkie, as the Chron nicely retracts its story in today's TIC, reporting that PJ was right and they were not. (No credit to PJ, but we suppose that's par for the course in the cutthroat SF gossip scene!) Leah also throws in the tidbits that Gav and the still-Mrs. Gav actually left North Beach to go to the Ferry Building, Soma, and Noe Valley to celebrate their ambivalence. (Hooray, we aren't sure how we feel about each other! Skoal!) We're sorry, PJ! We'll never doubt you again! Please forgive us! (While we're still pulling for the Celine Dion style renewal of vows by Gaverly, we'll only believe it when we see it -- in PJ's column!) ...

Duelling gossips in today's San Francisco media! On the one side, we have the Chron and Leah Garchik's TIC column, reporting that the Newsom and the Guilfoyle are now officially kaput as of today (despite a sighting at Enrico's Friday night -- do these people ever leave North Beach? Heck, do these people ever venture north of Broadway?). On the other, PJ Corkery's Examiner column reports (.pdf, page 5) that Gav and Kim decided not to finalize the paperwork and furthermore, they've put the whole divorce thing on ice to think it over some more. Maybe Gav forgave Kim for all those banana in the pants comments from last year -- or maybe Kim (whom we've always suspected to be PJ's source) is just engaging in some wishful thinking. Or maybe, like the media's been pointing out all week in regards to other matters, this is more of Gavin's famous indecisiveness coming through again. Given that the PJ Corkery column is now missing from the Examiner website, we're thinking maybe Leah's reporting is more correct. (Everyone seems to agree that PJ's reporting that the divorce was final two weeks ago was wrong, so we'll retract that as well.) Well, either way, we totally hope there's a Gavin Newsom-Kimberly Guilfoyle space-alien themed wedding vow renewal, just like Celine Dion! ...

Sci-fi geeks may have the upcoming Star Wars movie, but to political geeks, their Revenge of the Sith may just be this Friday when UC Berkeley hosts a discussion with New York Times' columnists Thomas Friedman AND Maureen Dowd. It's like the Sunday edition of the New York Times come to life except without the coffee and bagels. Seeing these two super-stud columnists together is like the "Real World/Road Rules Challenges" before they became overdone......

Since some of you may not be as thoroughly addicted to gossip as SFist is, we would like to present to you a primer on how to interpret Leah Garchik's column. You see, gossip columnists can only really imply bad things about celebrities, since there are all those pesky libel laws. What's great about that is that we can then guess at what they are implying and be free from liability. We hope. After......

The Chronicle today said goodbye to yet another columnist, this time not out of economic hardship on part of the Chron, but on economic hardship on part of the columnist. Citing the need to move on from cabbing due to the hardships entailed by cab drivers, the Night Cabbie handed in the keys to his cab and signed off on his column in today’s paper, telling his readers that: Simply said, I got tired of......

How do you know our esteemed First Couple has it made it? First there was big story in the New Yorker and now this- they made the New York Post gossip column! We are are so honored. According to the Post, Court TV anchor and part-time New York habitué Kimberly Guilfoyle Newsom was quite a hit as she gave a speech at the Empire State Pride Agenda fund raiser, subbing in for the hubbie......

Starting today and running through Sunday, the Friends of the San Francisco Public Library are hosting their 40th annual Big Book Sale, at Fort Mason. ...

The results are in on our first ever blind item guessing game, and while EssEffist was a little disappointed in the response (come on, isn't your one goal in life to find out compromising things about otherwise succesful people?) we did get enough responses that we thought could, possibly, in a completely non-libellous way be entirely maybe true. Lucky for us and our lawyers, there's been a tie! We received an equal number of votes for both Town Hall and Bacar. Both are relatively new, both chic, both doing well. Hmm, that doesn't really narrow it down, does it. Could it be Doug Washington, Maitre d' and co-manager of Town Hall? But he's just so good at his job! Other guesses included Lulu, the gas station featuring a Burger King and a Starbucks (which we all know is evil) and the Mission St. Denny's, although that was apparently a customer-on-customer spank request. Thanks for all your guesses! Keep an eye on Leah Garchik's column, and submit your own blind items to the editor if you have some dish that just must see the light of non-libellous day....

We came late to this because we always save Leah Garchik for the bus ride home. Lo and behold, we have a (admittedly tame) blind item! Since we have no Nick Denton equivalent here on the Barbary Coast, we'd like to ask for your guesses. Email the editor and your confidentiality is assured. "That chic South of Market restaurant's doing fine with customers but not so well with the staff. At least two food servers are gone, I hear, because the boss asked whether they were amenable to being spanked." Of course it had to be a restauranteur. Who knows some waiters, owners or cooks in SOMA? We're dying to know! And if you're the staff in question, we know lawyers. We'll post the likely candidates later today....