After all the hype and after all the expectations, we have to admit the steroid report was pretty much a yawner. We wanted names, damnit, lots and lots of names. Juicy names. Big names. Super Colossus Names. Instead we got Gregg Zaun. Bo-ring. The list was mainly a bunch of journeymen and never-were's from the 90's and who cares about them? Wasn't this whole thing about nailing the big boys? ...

A fight on the Cal campus last Saturday left a senior with a fractured skull and brain damage and a member of the rugby team looking for an attorney. The resident went outside when he heard someone breaking a window of his co-op (at Prospect and Channing), and got in a confrontation with a guy wearing a Cal rugby shirt. The rugby team had won the national championship that night. The victim claims the rugby......

Oh deerie-deer, Lance is back on the hot seat. An article in the New York Times on Tuesday reports that two former U.S. Postal teammates of Lance, Frankie Andreu and another unidentified rider, have admitted to using EPO during the 1999 racing season. The article does note that neither of the two riders ever saw Lance use any drugs, but the implication, and the guilt by association, are readily apparent.

Needless to say, Lance was not pleased.

For those who haven't heard, BARRY HAS ARRIVED IN TRAINING CAMP! We repeat, BARRY HAS ARRIVED IN TRAINING CAMP! A day late, however, something that drew a raised eyebrow from some ("oh my God, Barry did something on his own again"). Like last year, Barry met the press to give his annual State of Barry Address, but this time didn't do it press-conference style, instead he just answered few informal questions from the dugout. Probably a smart move as last year's infamous press conference, the one where he spent most of the time berating the press, could only have been a worse P.R. move if he would have given the entire thing while Jose Canseco injected steroids in his ass. Nothing terribly exciting was said, but to sum up: will decide about retiring at the end of the season, wants to spend more time with his family, doesn't want to play for another team, and wants to retire as a Giant. Since we've long since learned not to believe anything the Barry has to say, we take his comments with a grain of salt and wouldn't be surprised to see him wearing a L.A. Angels of Anaheim in Orange County Right Off of the Imperial Highway uniform next season. ...

If anyone was having any doubts that Jose Canseco is nothing but a big fame whore, you need doubt not more, as it was announced today that he will be joining the cast of the next season of "The Surreal Life." We've extolled the virtues of this reality series before, and we don't think anything will top the premiere featuring a naked Mini Me peeing in a corner, unless one of Canseco's cast mates--who......

For all those people wishing somebody, anybody, would get to the bottom of this whole steroid mess, have no worries, congress is here! This week, members of the House Government Reform Committee, having finished reforming the government, have asked several ballplayers linked in the steroid scandal, several ball players not linked in the steroid scandal, MLB baseball officials, and union officials to testify next Thursday in front of the committee about steroid abuse. Those players, including Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa, and Jason Giambi, have pretty much refused to testify. As have most MLB officials. And so, yesterday, congress sent out subpoenas. Noticeably absent from all this is one Barry Lamar Bonds. This despite the fact he has become the poster-boy of alleged steroid abuse and despite the fact he's about to break the most famous record in all of sports. Not to mention despite the fact some people think this whole BALCO thing is nothing more than an attempt to get Barry. ...

Last week's winner, the East Bay Express. Dream cartoonist outdoes himself with a dream about fighting Lord Vader! Cover article: The Oakland band Heavenly States had a horrible trip to Libya. Hey, Jose Canseco's doing a book signing at the Jack London Barnes and Noble next Monday! SFist Jake, we hope you're there! Was Abbey Lincoln drunk or delusional at her upsetting Yoshi's show last week? And Savage Love: why can't we charge barebackers full cost for anti-viral drug therapies for their victims? The SF Weekly: Matt Smith, being contrarian and pro-business. We never really understand what he's so upset about, but we're sure he's right! Dog Bites: better California quarter designs. Backroom dealings about Indian casinos. Hey! There's an orchestra performance of the music from Final Fantasy (scroll down) next Monday! Cover article: cabaret singer Antony. OK Then had a nice time at the Saturday J. Newsom concert, and, biting the EBX's style from last week, the Weekly also runs an article about metal yoginis High On Fire. Hilarious undercover sting operations in the Guardian and the Weekly of the Week, after the jump. ...

It’s looking like the pre-season favorite for MVP of the 2005 Giants season might not be trainer Stan Conte after all, but Barry Bonds’ publicist. Because today a story is breaking that can’t be any good as it involves two things that give any publicist nightmares: mistresses and Geraldo Rivera. Yep, the mustached-one scored a hot news story as he interviewed some woman claiming to be Bonds’ alleged mistress. In the interview, she not only discussed their affair, but also said that Barry was using steroids as far back as 1999. The alleged mistress, Kimberly Bell, was on Geraldo because she’s been trying to peddle a book for years about the affair which supposedly lasted for nine years and ended with Barry offering a mere $20,000 in hush money. ...