Gus Van Sant isn't the only one who might make you a shiny, coke-addled star here in San Francisco. Take, for example, MTV and NBC who want to use you for their up-and-coming reality programming.

• MTV's Real Word--a show that used to highlight people living with AIDS and Lyme disease, but has since shifted gears into showcasing disposable sluts doing bodyshots--is having an open casting call this Saturday, Jan. 26, from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. at, appropriately enough, Suite 181 in San Francisco. Applicants are asked to bring a recent photo of themselves and a photo ID. Please be between the ages of 18 & 24 minus any redeemable character or self-awareness. If you're too hungover to make it to the call, you can also apply online here. (Bunim-Murray, what hath you wrought upon us? Oh. that's right: totally awesome TV.)
• Bravo announced that they need some choice cattle, namely you, for "The Dating Project." The casting call will take place at Broadway Studios on January 26 (Sat.) & 27 (Sun.), between 1 p.m. and 4 p.m. Bravo, you see, is looking for "sexy, successful, eligible, bachelors, 25 to 35 years old to sweep a young Hollywood Starlet off her feet and capture her heart." (Conversely, give her a bag of high-grade Peruvian flake, and she's all yours.) The show takes place in the Hollywood Hills, and if you think you've got what it takes to look good on camera and shame your family for years to come, then email your name, number and photo to datingprojectcasting[at]gmail[dot]com.