On Thursday, Juan Zuluaga, 26, was arrested at the SF Zoo following a run-in with a rhinoceros. It seems, according to the Chron, that Zuluaga was busted for throwing acorns at Mashaki, a black rhino: Police said they were summoned to the zoo at 3:30 p.m. Thursday after a patron reported to officials that Zuluaga was picking acorns off a branch and tossing them at the black rhino, a male named Mashaki. Zuluaga was......

Oakland Interfaith Gospel Ensemble: This awe-inspiring gospel ensemble from "the other side of the Bay," noted for its "interfaith, multi-racial, and multi-cultural" makeup -- will get you in the mood. The Christmas-y mood, that is. And if you can't handle all of the holiday joy abounding, there are plenty of bars around the neighborhood where you can get your joy on, booze-wise. The singing starts at 7 p.m. and 9 p.m. at Slim's; $15.Midnight......

Jesus Christ, this has sent us into a tailspin. While we can safely say that our biggest accomplishments in life thus far have been finding synonyms for the word "poop" and being able to thoroughly enjoy steak tartare, it seems that a few other driven, Type-A individuals have done more at our age. Much, much more. Behold what we should have done at this point on Earth: Amelia Earhart became the first woman to......

It looks like Black Rock City visitors now have an actual tragedy on their hands. One for them to eventually personalize, of course. Today, sadly, someone hanged himself to death at Burning Man. His dangling body -- which was viewable to partygoers for about two hours inside of a two-story tent, according the Justin Berton -- went unnoticed by many. Passersby and friends, it seems, thought the dead body was an artistic statement of......

-- Verified Identity Pass. Scary. But kind of cool. [Chron] -- Mark Leno, the scribe. [SFBG] -- After yesterday's fire in the Castro -- or as the Examiner still calls it, "Eureka Valley" -- seven are hospitalized. [Examiner] -- Our new vodka buddy/birthday mate, Beth Spotswood, calls Daly and Gonzalez bitches, annihilates your SF mayoral candidates. [Chron] -- "Senior of the Year" Jose Morales wants to keep his rent-controlled Mission pad that he's had......

Is anyone else's power going out every five to ten minutes today? Annoying. So far we have reports from One Market, Harrison/Fourth Street, UCSF Mission/Bay, parts of the Financial District -- the general downtown/SOMA area. What's more, we (and, most likely, you) have already lost several documents. Jesus Christ, make it stop. Really now. UPDATE: sites like Craigslist, Live Journal (ONTD!), VOX, and Yelp are temporarily down due to either thes power outages or punchy......

Let's just get this right out of the way first-- we love Jesus Christ Superstar and we're not too proud to admit it (blasting it on our stereo, on the other hand...) We love the songs, we love the story, we love the lyrics, we love the singing, we love everything. Not only that, we think the songs rock. And if you don't believe us, go check out the Afghan Whig's cover of "the Temple" and see what we mean. We also think that the play's main riff-- that malevolent, bad-ass riff, the one played while Jesus is receiving the thirty-nine lashes, is one of rock's great unknown riffs. ...

We'd have a sad face too if the Chron came out against our position on Question Time, some mayoral pipsqueak in Santa Clara was out to eat our Niners lunch, and our chief of staff had just resigned because he'd been clashing with our minder Peter Ragone! (Though for full disclosure, this picture's almost two years old.) The latest news on the 2007 mayoral front? The Examiner went down to City Hall and got......

A bingo benefit to be held this Thursday night was cancelled because the church it was to be held at didn't like the idea of nuns in drag. What? That's a problem? The church, the Most Holy Redeemer Church, was all set to host the thing but, realizing it involved the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, ixnayed it. ...

Yeah, yeah, we know.

You had Oscar Pereiro in the office Tour de France pool until you watched the OLN Tour Preview show and Bob Roll convinced you to change it to Floyd Landis. Right, and you had Carlos Sastre on the podium too until your buddy Joao from Portugal got you thinking that Jose Azevedo had this one dialed in. And you've always been a huge Cyril Dessel fan, but you thought he was still a year or two away from going big time; this was going to be finally going to be Georgie Hincapie's year.

Sure you did. We guarantee that nobody had Pereiro, Sastre, and Andreas Kloden in the top three (well, maybe Kloden) before the Tour started.

Okay, he's not REALLY a CIA agent. But his posters say he is, and that if you tear them down, you'll "get SMACKED." For the last month or so, a quiet, stocky, late-20s guy with a shaved head and a heavy-metal goatee has been posting gibberish on telephone poles around the eastern end of the panhandle. He wears what look like hospital scrubs, which make us hope that he's getting some form of treatment......

Today is, of course, Festivus. And with Festivus comes the traditional airing of grievances. Not to mention acknowledgement that we stole the idea from the Daily Quickie column on ESPN.com’s Page 2. So, in celebration of the most holy of holidays, we here at Sfist would like to air our grievances. Sfist Rita’s grievances are that she is cheesed off that she only just started watching the Matt Gonzalez show on public access this......