Don't know what to do with that formerly-trendy FREE WINONA t-shirt? Just cross out her name and write in "LANCE WILLIAMS AND MARK FAINARU-WADA" in sparkle-pen instead -- the Chronicle's getting ready to send those guys to jail on principle, as the Hearst Publishing legal team files a motion to quash (i.e., ignore) the subpoenas that the US Attorney's office sent out to them to find out just where they got all their juicy secret......

Okay, did someone just flip a switch inside the brains of Bay Area pit bull mixes to the "kill the two-legged ones" setting? (Yes, we know, it's just excessive media attention and not some kind of new sinister trend.) Yesterday, yet another girl was attacked by a pit bull, this time in San Francisco, and a (neutered) pit bull with a history of aggression in Rohnert Park bit its owner and attacked two other dogs. Meanwhile, the pit bull that attacked the Santa Rosa girl last week (the one on the cover of the Chron) will be euthanized, but no criminal charges will be pressed. Authorities hypothesize that the dog just didn't like the little girl. Is that seven pit bull attacks in the last month? Well, if it's not pit bulls attacking children, it's San Francisco attacking smokers: don't forget the ordinance banning outdoor smoking in city-owned spaces goes into effect this Friday. And hey! Eric Anduri, the dude who threw the beer on Jason Giambi at the A's game last month pled not guilty. Not guilty? Didn't he do this in front of 20,000+ fans? Is he going to plead self-defense? Don't you think his father, the mayor of Lafayette, should be advocating a more manly acceptance of responsibility for his actions? ...

More like SFist Blotto today! A Gilroy High School post-prom party this weekend got a little out of hand, and culminated in a senior falling off a third floor balcony at the Monterey Best Western hotel. Fret not, folks -- just like in the cartoons, she landed on an awning, which is credited for saving her life. The cops came by the hotel two more times that evening, once on a complaint of public drunkenness, and the other to arrest two guys doing $3200 of damage to the hotel ice machine. In other alcohol-related news, a bartender and a waitress at Noe's Bar and Grill on 24th and Church are being credited for their sharp eyes -- they caught a guy slipping some kind of drug into his date's drink. They whisked the drink away, claiming it was bad, and then saw him do it again as they were waiting for the cops. When the guy became suspicious, he mumbled something about "dirty glasses," offered to buy the bartender and waitress drinks, and then fled the scene in his BMW convertible. And finally: the inebriated baseball fan who threw his beer on pudgy Jason Giambi at Saturday's A's/Yankees game has been charged with battery, public intoxication, and throwing stuff on the field. Giambi, in a showing of good sportsmanship, has declined to press charges, but the DA makes the final decision. The fan, who's the son of Lafayette mayor Carl Anduri (!!), wasn't the only poorly-behaving A's fan this weekend -- the next day, two guys jumped onto the field. One was caught by Eric Byrnes; the other, wearing a diaper and no shirt, was caught by security. ...

The A's have lost 8 games in a row, and 11 of their last 12. The A's are 9 games below .500. The A's have been outscored, in 2005, by every team in the American League and by every team in the National League. National League teams only have 8 hitters in their lineups, to American League teams' 9. The A's expected Rich Harden to turn into Tim Hudson this season, but this isn't......

For all those people wishing somebody, anybody, would get to the bottom of this whole steroid mess, have no worries, congress is here! This week, members of the House Government Reform Committee, having finished reforming the government, have asked several ballplayers linked in the steroid scandal, several ball players not linked in the steroid scandal, MLB baseball officials, and union officials to testify next Thursday in front of the committee about steroid abuse. Those players, including Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa, and Jason Giambi, have pretty much refused to testify. As have most MLB officials. And so, yesterday, congress sent out subpoenas. Noticeably absent from all this is one Barry Lamar Bonds. This despite the fact he has become the poster-boy of alleged steroid abuse and despite the fact he's about to break the most famous record in all of sports. Not to mention despite the fact some people think this whole BALCO thing is nothing more than an attempt to get Barry. ...

As football fades and a weary Bay Area turns to that moment when pitchers and catchers report, yet another reminder of baseball’s little steroid problem bobbed to the surface over the weekend as the publisher for Jose Canceco’s supposed tell-all book leaked some juicy little bits of gossip to the press. Canseco’s book, Juiced: Wild Times, Rampant 'Roids, Smash Hits, and How Baseball Got Big, will be released on February 21, and the bits of gossip were in this Sunday’s New York Daily News. In the book, Canseco claims that he was sort of like the Pied Piper of steroids, turning on all his teamates to the wonders of synthetic drugs; so much so, he was called “the Chemist.” He claims to have personally injected Mark McGwire in the ass in a bathroom stall when both were rookies and sat around another men’s room stall watching McGwire inject steroid poster boy Jason Giambi in the ass another year. Canseco also claims to have introduced steroids to Texas Rangers’ stars Juan Gonzalez, Ivan Rodriguez, and Rafael Palmerio when he was with the Rangers, an act which he claims was well-known by then-Rangers owner George W. Bush. And yes, it’s the same George W. we all know and love as our President. The very same President who famously called for a ban on steroids in a State of the Union speech....

And the next shoe dropped. After yesterday’s big scoop revealing Jason Giambi’s Grand Jury testimony, the Chronicle, which has been all Woodward and Bernstein about the BALCO trial, got an even bigger scoop today- the testimony of one Barry Lamar Bonds, aka the guy who is breaking every record in baseball. In the testimony, Bonds said that he took the steroids “the cream” and “the clear” for a bit in 2003 but did not know......

Hold onto your hats, sports fans, as Victor Conte, the mad scientist in charge of the BALCO labs is all set to go on the ABC newsmagazine 20/20 this week and name names. Or so says the already churning publicity mill about ABC's big "get" this week. The story, reported by Martin Bashir -- the very same reporter who got that awesome interview of Michael Jackson in which Jacko admitted he liked to sleep with......

For a trial that's supposed to be leak proof, this whole BALCO mess is leaking all over the place. In response to charges of misconduct brought on by details of the investigation leaking, , the court leaked documents on Friday detailing an interview Federal Agents had with Barry Bonds' personal trainer Greg Anderson ("Barry Bonds' Personal Trainer Gary Anderson", of course, pretty much being his new name). In the report, Anderson named several Giants' players......