In a storyline ripped from a rejected Desperate Housewives spec, Laurie Ann Martinez, a psychologist at Folsom Prison, was charged with faking her own rape in order to get her stubborn husband to move the couple to a better neighborhood. Reasonable, right? No, that is not reasonable. That is terrible. Also, she was in cahoots with a friend during this faux rape/robbery ordeal. more ›

In an effort to become the most boring place on the world wide web -- or maybe it's just us? Since our friends post the most meh stuff now, we've resorted to following Arbor Mist's spectacular, frighteningly honest updates. Seriously. "Sparkling Raspberry put the sparkle in my smile ;)" beats the umpteenth pretentious Kanye West song lyric -- Facebook will "work with law enforcement agencies nationwide to remove accounts set up by inmates or posted on their behalf." Why? Well, according Associated Press, "prisoners are using the social networking site to stalk victims and direct criminal activity." more ›

Giovanni Ramirez, 31, the man accused of beating Giants fan Bryan Stow at the Dodgers opening game this year, was sentenced to time in jail today. The parolee was given 10 months in the clink for a handgun violation. Ramirez, however, doesn't seem to be involved with the brutal attack on Stow. The Chronicle reports: "At today's hearing, the commissioner dismissed an allegation of assault, saying that no evidence provided to the Board of Parole Hearings 'shows Ramirez was involved in an assault that resulted in great bodily injury against the victim at Dodger Stadium.' " more ›

The man convicted of kidnapping, raping, and holding Jacyee Dugard in captivity for 18 years will be sent to the same prison as noted Manson Family founder Charles Manson at Corcoran State Prison. Sacramento Bee reports: "Upon arrival, Garrido was placed in a segregated cell for his own protection but, after processing, likely will be placed in the prison's protective housing unit with 14 other inmates, including cult leader Charles Manson and mass-murderer Juan Corona." more ›

Early this morning, former BART cop Johannes Mehserle was released from the Los Angeles County Men's Jail. He served just over 11 months of a two-year sentence for the death of Oscar Grant, 22, on a Fruitvale BART platform on New Year's Day 2009. He was released with credit for time served. While the media eagerly hopes for civil unrest to erupt in Oakland, like it did on the day of Mehserle's sentencing, the city has been peaceful thus far. more ›

Have you seen this man? He's Nathan Simpson, 30, and he escaped from a detention facility in Solano County on Sunday night. CBS 5 reports: "Simpson is described as a white man with a thin build, fair complexion, brown hair and brown eyes. He is 6 feet 1 inch tall and weighs around 150 pounds. He was last seen wearing orange-colored jeans and shirt with the initials CDCR printed on the back." more ›

In part of a "long-running campaign to clear his son's name ", Frank Lindh, father of noted Taliban supporter John Walker Lindh, spoke to law students at University of San Francisco on Wednesday. According to Frank, his son, now 30, "spends his days studying ancient Islamic texts and is earning a liberal arts degree at Indiana University." more ›

If Oz taught us anything, it's that prisoners will have sex. That said, in an effort to curb sexually transmitted diseases, the San Francisco County Jail's San Bruno clink installed 16 condom machines for about 750 prisoners. more ›

A group of people are expected to hold a rally in front of the State Building in San Francisco today. It's part of "a statewide day of fasting and advocacy actions" geared at shedding light on prison overcrowding. BCN (via CBS 5) reports: "Prisoners and their supporters up and down California will be joining in the 'Starving for Justice' fast with the help of supporting groups like Californians United for a Responsible Budget, a statewide coalition of more than 40 organizations trying to curb prison spending by closing facilities and reducing the number of people incarcerated." more ›

Ponzi-schemer and former non-executive chairman of the NASDAQ stock exchange Bernard Madoff was handed a 150 year prison sentence by U.S. District Judge Denny Chin this morning. In the courtroom, Madoff explained to Judge Chin, prosecutors and his victims that he thought he could "work his way out" of fraud and that he lives in a "tormented state." Also, he said that he "lied to his brother and sons and that his wife Ruth Madoff cries herself to sleep each night." Bernard, if you recall, plead guilty in March 2009 to 11 federal crimes, including securities fraud, wire fraud, mail fraud, money laundering, perjury, and false filings with the SEC. Read more about this morning's ruling at Gothamist. more ›

Last night. before a vigil for Current TV journalists Laura Ling and Euna Lee, who are currently serving a 12-year jail sentence in North Korea for illegally crossing the border, the inmates' husbands spoke out about their conditions. The news was disheartening. more ›

After last week's sentencing was postponed due to an ill judge, disgraced former SF Supervisor Ed Jew was sentenced in state court today to an additional year in the pookey "for lying on election documents about residing in San Francisco." Representing the Sunset District in 2006, Jew claimed to live in San Francisco, but later admitted to living in Burlingame (since 1997!) at the time of his tenure on the Board of Supervisors. "I deeply regret the decision I made," Jew told San Francisco Superior Court Judge Kay Tsenin today. "I never should have made that declaration." Jew is scheduled to start his sentence, which includes five-plus additional years after a federal ruling, on July 1. According to reports, "[W]ith credit for good behavior, Jew will serve about 85 percent of the federal prison time, and will likely then be assigned to a community service program and would only have to serve three to four months of the county jail sentence." more ›

Big-cat attack survivor Kulbir Dhaliwal, who saw his fame quotient skyrocket last year after Tatiana the tiger escape from her grotto and went on a fatal rampage, was handed ten days in jail after pleading guilty to public intoxication and resisting arrest. This incident happened before the Tatiana killed the Dhaliwal's "friend" Carlos Sousa, Jr. The Dhaliwal brothers, it seems, "were arrested Sept. 7, 2007, after they scuffled with San Jose police who tried to stop them after seeing them chase two men down the street." But wait, it gets better! Kulbir also "cursed at officers while kicking the security partition in a squad car, forcing police to pull him out and put him in leg restraints." more ›

Disgraced former KGO talk show radio host Bernie Ward, who was sentenced to more than seven years in the clink this last August for kiddie porn possession, was moved from the Santa Rita Jail in Dublin to a federal prison in Oklahoma, according to KGO. Dan Noyes goes on to say that Ward "could be sent to the minimum security prison in Lompoc, as he requested when he was convicted." more ›

Mentally-estranged dreamboat Paul Addis -- you know, the guy who performed last year's premature ignition at Burning Man and most recently tried to burn down Courteney Cox-Arquette and David Arquette's chapel of love? -- pleaded guilty to (presumably) arson, winning himself a cool 12-48 month in federal prison. According to Curbed (via Twitter): more ›

At the risk of sounding too gay--God forbid--the Gate has an article today about integrating cell mates. Or something critical about race relations. Or about ponies and sunshine. We're can't tell you for sure. The accompanying photos have diverted our attention away from the pesky text. (Seriously, institutionalized racism has never seemed this hot.) more ›

Winning the title of first football player to be nabbed in the BALCO scandal, ex-49ers defensive lineman Dana Stubblefield was charged with lying to a federal agent when he denied taking steroids. Oh, Dana. he is expected to plead guilty in a San Francisco federal courtroom later on today. more ›

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Sigh. The popular kids are at it again. No stranger to playing fast and loose with the law, noted homeless taxi driver Grasshopper Kaplan -- you remember, that guy who ran for mayor this year and received a decent 1,400 votes -- was arrested yesterday. Why? According to the Snitch, he was "sentenced on Monday to nine months in county jail for threatening a passenger while driving his unlicensed taxi." Hmm. How zany. Oh... more ›