UPDATE! Since this post went up 45 minutes ago, Muni has removed the apology from its site. We expect a new statement to be issued any minute, declaring that Muni regrets nothing, would do it all over again, and you'll never get me alive, coppers. It's not as good as getting the trains running on time, but it's a start. Muni leaders have clearly been in over thier heads for the last few days,......

Last week's winner, the East Bay Express: Well, this is interesting! Bottom Feeder Will Harper is leaving the EBX to become the executive editor of the SF Weekly. We're sorry to see Harper leave, but we're excited to see what he does at the sister SF publication! Plus, this collection of Bottom Feeder's greatest hits is pretty exciting. We may not be making as much money off stem cells as everyone says we will --......

Texas is thawing, the Northeast is freezing, and a sort of natural order seems almost restored to the Ist-A-Verse. Almost. Londonist HQ—that is to say, the city of London—was battered by heavy winds, making it a bad time to be a twelve-meter (nearly forty-foot) tall snowman. Still, not everyone decided to keep warmly covered. Meanwhile, back indoors, the Big Brother racism is now causing all kinds of headaches for international diplomats, and Londonist got into......

For those of you thinking about taking a little late lunch, maybe going for a stroll downtown, maybe this isn't a good day to do it. Because sometime this afternoon, the President of Taiwan, Chen Shui-Bian, is expected to do a little lay over at the St. Regis hotel. Since Taiwan is the center of a bit of controversy between those who like it independent and those who like it part of China, expect there to be lots of protesting going on. Among other things, the Chinese are not happy about all this. ...

-Oakland is ready to party, Ron Dellums style. -Over 1,000 people go to the beach to say impeach, put Cheney in reach....

If the sun is shining a bit brighter and the birds are chirping a bit chirpier it could only be because today is a big day-- as of this posting, our little Nancy is officially now the Queen. In fact, her little "First 100 Hours" plan is now on the clock. How excited is she? She's been throwing herself four days of parties in celebration of it, all to be later shown in an episode of C-Span's "My Sweet Inauguration Party." In a stab at snarkiness, the NY Times even refered to it all as a "Pelosi-Palooza." And the fact some of those parties could raise a little money for her and her party, well, that's just a happy little coincidence. ...

We're tired of mojito-mixing Gavin Newsom now -- bring on the new guy in Oakland! Over on the sunnier side of the San Francisco Bay, former Congressman Ron Dellums is settling on in at 1 Frank H. Ogawa Plaza for his first full day on the job today. Yeah, we don't remember any dramatic hand-on-the-Bible or inaugural speechifying either -- it turns out they threw together a somewhat slapdash inauguration when someone realized that the......

-Senate President Pro Tem Don Perata proposes health care for all workers in California. -Da Mayor to host Inauguration party for Da Governor. -Theme of party? "We Belong Together." -In a story we're all going to get sick of, rain screwed up yesterday and this morning's commute. - Mo' bond money to cause mo' problems for Bay Area. This story is one we can pretty much cut and paste in for the next few years.......

This has been a rough week for your -ist pals, though you wouldn't know it from the great posts all over the network. Plagued with server problems, our tech team (led by the great Neil Epstein) toiled around the clock to solve the glitches as they arose. Seriously, we've said, typed, and thought the phrase "server problems" more in the past week than we have for the last 35 years combined. Why not say it......

Hey, look, something on SFist that at best will get a few hundred words in the Chron and a sixty-second segment on the local news, if we're lucky. There were more news vans swarming around City Hall yesterday to interview Ross and the Gavster about the flag-lowering kerfuffle than there were today to cover the actual protest. But then Gavin's lacquered locks weren't on hand, it was just a bunch of regular old nobodies......

SFist has seen our traffic spike since the change in calendars, setting a new record for sessions in a 24 hour period on Tuesday. We'd like to think that it's because of the incredible popularity of our SFist Cares feature (it should be), but we have a feeling it's because we've taken the WULAD approach to increasing our readership -- Britney Spears' baby, anyone? Speaking of which, this weekend marks the anniversary of Roe......

...while we wait for the inauguration protests to start! Last week's winner, the Weekly. Matt Smith: did you know it's illegal for dogs to have sex in public in the City? Cover article: using California state procedural laws to stymie the rights of people molested by priests. Meredith Brody lunches like a lady at the Neiman-Marcus Rotunda. A pullout guide to your New Year's Resolutions: the usual list: weight loss, playing an instrument, things to do in the city (hey, have you taken one of these nifty cable cars?) and a list of phone numbers for kicking substances. OK Then's list of the next new "hyooj" bands for 2005. Also, OK Then got ticketed on a MUNI even though he had a transfer. Man, what gives with the MUNI cops lately? You should be exempt if you voted for Newsom's tax increases. Not our fault they didn't pass! Savage Love: three-ways, childhood traumas reemerging as sexual fantasies, humping someone's leg, and the word "santorum" wins a linguistic prize for 2004. The EBX: The dream cartoonist illustrates a dream featuring Donnie Wahlberg as an acting teacher. East Bay versus South Bay in the stem cell wars. Trash in the San Leandro watershed. Cover article: folk singer Dave Dondero at the Golden Gate Fields racetrack. An Alameda winery is moving to Brentwood. A profile of Mike Park's peace-promoting label Asian Man. The Guardian and the Weekly of the Week after the jump. ...

Hey, looks like it runs in the administration! Sister-site DCist is at ground zero for the inauguration festivities. Take a moment to peruse their special inauguration coverage -- including a bit that a little birdie forwarded them from local blogger Scaramouche. Mike Grass, DCist co-editor, points up their local access: As for tomorrow, there will be DCists stationed throughout downtown, from at the event itself to at protests...[R]est assured, we'll be on top of any......

...all of which we picked up at Oakland's 24 hour newsstand! Starting with last week's winner, the Weekly -- a genius Photoshop cover of Matty G. reclining on a Getty-like carpet. So genius it's replacing the picture of the car running over the Weekly box (but only for this week!). Photo credit to Darrick Rainey. Mr. Rainey, we shake your hand in congratulations! This illustrates the cover article on "2004: Gonzalez's First Year As Mayor." Surely you remember Matty G's triumphant inauguration – and the scandal that broke out when he allowed hipsters to marry! And those quotes from the New Yorker Matty profile: "Almost everyone in San Francisco knows a small black child who has been shielded from a hail of bullets by Gonzalez." SFist Chesh, you'll be pleased by the fastidious font replications seen here, and SFist Jon, we're sure you'll find the Chron columns shown entirely typical. ("Sports: Bruce Jenkins is on vacation"). You know, after wiping away our tears of laughter, we find that we have nothing more to say about the rest of the paper. Picture of Al-Gore-fat loser Gavin Newsom!!!! Ha!!!! (SFist Jackson, we hope you get home before this issue is yanked from the stands -- it's that good.) On a soberer note, the Guardian. A slew of defensive corrections about last week's coverage of the development freeze in Potrero Hill. There's a protest next Tuesday at 4 pm at City Hall against raising MUNI fares. Annalee Newitz is worked up about the FCC and cable modems. Paul the food critic got a free meal when his chicken was underdone at Foggy Bottom Cafe on Irving and Eighth. Cover article: This year in movies (obscure art-flick edition). The EBX and the weekly of the week (like you don't already know which one it is) after the jump. ...