Results tagged “humor”

Now this? Is our kind of criminal. With no way to get to his auto-theft trial in Vallejo, tenacious Oakland resident Samuel George Botchvaroff did what comes naturally to him: he stole a car and drove it to the courthouse.

Radio station 92.7, once a gay-friendly station brimming with synthetic beats, was bought by new owners in September. Said new owners fired most of the staff and talent, replacing them with, for lack of a better word, dreck.

Like this.

The fine folks over at SFBG did a little sleuthing over Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger's recent vetoing of Assemblymember Tom Ammiano's AB 1176, a simple bill that involved the Port of San Francisco and some sort of financing issues. Basic stuff, really. According to SFBG Editor Tim Redmond, "It’s the kind of bill that legislators offer on behalf of their cities all the time," the kind of bill that is routinely passed.

Found at Geary and Fillmore, Greg Dewar of N Judah Chronicles came across this bilingual, demanding sign that asks you to not cook and eat San Francisco's pigeons.

Like a tightly-scrunched walnut, the fine folks at TMZ have cracked the case of California First Lady Maria Shriver's wanton disregard for public safety and that of her own. It seems Shriver was caught in the act of talking on her cellphone while driving, sans "hands-free" device. As most of you know, the hands-free law went into effect last year.

After succumbing to the joy of a perfectly cut and shared cheeseburger, two men hypothesize the homosexual lifestyle, telling each other what they would do to the other if they were bent. Funny stuff. (Note: Dirty words are featured heavily, so this is very much NSFW. Use headphones in case the boss walks by your cubicle.)

Brittney Gilbert of Eye On Blogs brings our attention to this little gem: the Cal marching band knocking over an event staff guy at a recent football game. (Also, what's going on with both announcers' eyebrows? As lovely as they are, those enviously manicured brows belong no where near a football game.)

    

While the bridge has been shutdown over the Labor Day Weekend, they've been publishing images of their work in progress, using high-resolution photos. Much to our delight. Otherwise, one would never have spotted this totally awesome bit of graffiti, presumably scribbled on the on the side of the structure by Bay Bridge workers.

Heh.

A San Jose robber who held up a pay day loan store and a liquor store within a week of each other this past July has successfully and brilliantly eluded police. Witnesses were not able to give a thorough description of the suspect, aside from the obvious: He was clad in a "pink, long-sleeved gown with a white and purple floral pattern, along with a tan straw garden hat, white gloves and tan shoes." We wonder if he collected enough loot for a one-way ticket to Hawaii?

This photo on Curbed seriously made our afternoon. Apparently, a long-time Curbed lurker discovered this rooftop streamliner while doing a building inspection for a housing project in the Tenderloin. Blogger 40Goingon28 confirms it's located at the 100 block of Turk Street. Another Curbed commenter speculates that "All you need is an airsteam and a crane" to pull off this feat. See this beauty from another angle.

Giant Chef Burger, an East Bay restaurant, wants you to know that if you're sitting on their patio and a bug lands on your plate, please enjoy it. It's one of mother nature's delicacies. [Claycord, via Eye One Blogs, via Eater]

Found over at 23rd and Guerrero in the Mission district, SFist Cedric found the above love letter stuck on his windshield. He explains, "I found a spot that was literally three inches longer than my car. And this is the congratulation I get for managing to fit in."

Check out Rafael Casal's "Bay Area Slang Top 100".

Oh, don't you "slow news day, huh?" us, dear readers. Not when the face of God (or Our Alien Supreme Commander) is busy inhabiting our microbrews.

When opens next Friday, wouldn't you like to be wearing this on your chest, making you the envy of Metreon teen goons? Of course you would. It's very clever. And, if anything, t-shirts were made for bon mots and pie charts.

       

A relatively new site called STFU, Marrieds -- created by a presumably very bitter homosexual, one we would love to have a long liquid lunch with one day -- slams married couples and the loveydovey bile they spew on the internet. Pretty mean, right? But also amusing. As the anonymous creator simply puts it:

We adore stuff like this, things that boil down the complicated and tenuous class, race and sociopolitical tapestry of San Francisco into convenient sweeping generalizations. And, which ever rapscallion took a black Sharpie to this Muni map, put below the jump due to NSFW art, deserves some sort of award. (In addition to a fine and a slap on the bottom.) It is, in a word, hilarious.

We don't know how we missed this for an entire week, but we have to give props to College Humor. This is some true, musical theater awesomeness. We especially love the riff on "Maria" at around 2:00, which is, of course, "Pandora."

SFist reader and commenter uggie sent us the above image. It's a newly installed "walk your bike or scooter to the parking area" sign on a city government building parking lot, which is about 8 feet from the ground in English and in Braille.

How dare you? Rape jokes aren't funny, jerk. Read a whole lot more on it, right here.

Our very favorite "painted whore," Carrie Prejean, the current anti-gay Miss California, has a fun, new comic penned in her honor. With story and lettering by Brian Andersen and art and colors by Michael Troy, the newest superhero comic is called "Saint Carrie of the Divine Pageant: A Tit, a Tat and an Opposite-Marriage Rat."

Oh, this is rich.

For those of you who still find political satire knee-slappingly hilarious -- i.e., those of you who laugh a bit too loudly at Shakespeare comedy previews at the Embarcadero Cinemas -- you don't want to miss this new action figure of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. Created by HeroBuilders.com -- who have also fashioned figures in the likes of Rod Blagojevich, Bernie Madoff, John McCain and Barack Obama -- Pelosi comes complete with a power suit, saucer eyes, and a mini waterboard that reads "Water Board: Fun for the Whole Family." (If you recall, Pelosi is in trouble for claiming she didn't know about war crime-worthy torture techniques approved by the Bush administration, going so far as to say the C.I.A. lied to her. Even though, you know, she probably knew about what was going on the entire time.) You can fondle your very own Pelosi doll for a mere $49.95. But according to NBC Bay Area, HeroBuilders.com is already backed up with 250 pre-sale orders.

The brilliant Chloé Harris, freelance writer and former 7x7 editor, explains to us the top stories on Huff Post today: "1) Boobies. 2) Boobies. 3) Boobies. 4) Boobies. 5) Boob."

Over at Laughing Squid, we came across this delightful preview to Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus. The plot line goes like this: "the California coast is terrorized by two enormous prehistoric sea creatures as they battle each other for supremacy of the sea." The future cinematic masterpiece, which (SPOILER ALERT) features a giant shark eating the Golden Gate Bridge, is set for release on May 26th.

San Jose native and former Raiderette Anjelah Johnson is something of a cult phenomenon. A couple of years ago, the local cheerleader turned stand-up comedian saw her videos "go viral." Big time. Her rant about getting a manicure at Beautiful Nail (along with a $6 coat of crystal gel, which makes you sparkle like diamond in the sky) is, in a word, legendary. She took a routine as tired as Vietnamese-working-in-nail-saloon and made it seem fresh again.

Puppies and Homer collide in this downright adorable Cliff Notes version of a Greek classic.

San Francisco played host to some sort of massive, public pie fight at the Powell Street cable car turnaround last week. Real pie, however, wasn't used. No filling, crust, or whipped cream was transformed into delicious weapons. Shaved cream was used instead. And here's a clip of the melee.