Now that going green is the AIDS ribbon of the aughts, it only seemed like matter of time before a green taxicab company would be unleashed before the unsuspecting masses. And it is-- ladies and gentlemen, may we introduce to you, the one and only Billy Shears. No wait, Green Cab. ...

Oh, you Taxi Cab Commission-- first you whisper sweet nothings to us and add fifty new cabs, telling us that you get it, you really, really get it. But now that we've finally sat back and relaxed in the knowledge that some sanity had come to all things cabs, you announce that you just might need to raise the "flag-drop" by fifty cents, meaning it would cost $3.60 just to get into a cab. And for those of you keeping score, that would make our cabs the most expensive in the country. Oh, we're so proud. ...

We finally have a new head of the Taxi Commission, that being the old head, Heidi Machen. We certainly hope she enjoyed her month-long vacation. Unlike her previous reign, however, Gavin gave her some homies to have her back and finally replaced three outgoing commissioners whose terms had already expired. Gavin should have done this earlier, but it got in the way of his appearing on morning radio shows. ...

As Emily Litella would say, what is this we keep hearing about problems with the Crab Commission? Who doesn't love crabs? They're yummy and healthy, especially when you dip them in butter? Oh wait, it's Cab Commission. Not Crab Commission. Nevermind. So, then what is it we keep hearing about the SF Cab Commission? Why has this usually obscure governmental backwater suddenly become the latest source of gossip, intrigue, and petty name-calling? ...