A public memorial is all set to honor Bill Walsh. It'll be held at Candlestick at 11 AM on August 10th and among the speakers will be Joe Montana and Eddie De Bartolo. A private ceremony will be held on August 9th at the Stanford Memorial Church. Speakers there will not only include Montana and DeBartolo, but NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell and Dianne Feinstein. Rumored to attend are Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and former Secretary of State George Shultz who were friends of the Genius. Current owners of the 49ers, John and Denise York have also asked that the Governor declare a Bill Walsh Day. ...

Total number of people pictured in this week's Swells society column: 65. Total number of people pictured whom we recognize: 9 (including George Shultz, Dianne Feinstein's husband, and Spike Lee). Minority count: 6 (9.2%). Getty v. Traina: 2-2. Gavin holds down the fort for both points scored by Team Getty. Years between visits with Queen Elizabeth for Charlotte Maillard Shultz: 24. "She absolutely radiates like a queen," Ms. Maillard Shultz raves to Swells. Percentage of......

We're back from vacation! Number of heartfelt thank yous from us!: One! Thanks, SFist Mary, for covering for us last week! We're bummed we missed the Vanessa Prada turban, though. Number of people pictured in this week's Swells society column: 57. Number of people pictured whom we recognize: 8 (including one awesome picture by C.Big of George Shultz with Naomi Campbell. It's probably too much to hope for that Naomi Campbell swatted the tiger tattoo......

Total number of people pictured in this week's Swells society column: 67. Number of people pictured whose names we recognize: 8 (Trainas, Gettys, and figures in local politics only, including on-the-way-out Steve Kawa). Minority count: 4 (6%). Hats, capes, tiaras: 0, 0, 0 (but Gavin's hair looks a little funny). Getty v. Traina: 6-12. It's Dede Wilsey's Christmas party, that's why!!! Dede had laryngitis but wore Chanel and had the best hors d'oeuvres in town......

The media orgasmatron following Prince Charles and Duchess Camilla through their edge-free trip to San Francisco peed itself the other night as the royals on-deck chortled their way through that old chestnut, Beach Blanket Babylon. "Prince is Charming!" "Prince of a Guy!" "This Prince doesn't go by an unpronounceable symbol!" (okay, we made that last one up.) A whole coterie of hangers-on attended the soiree, including Duke Gavin and the fallen Lady Kimberly of Guilfoyle, smiling and bobbing slightly as the royals passed, but not holding hands. Gavin -- you must start seeing other people. Other attendees included former Secretary of State George Shultz (in his role as the husband of Charlotte Maillard Shultz, the Chief of SF protocol), Kamala Harris, the owner of the Giants, Willie Brown, and Danielle Steel. Mrs. Shultz also apparently made a cameo in the show, flying on a wire and dressed as Wonder Woman. Ah, of course. Prince Charles didn't seem to get most of the jokes, but apparently chuckled at a bit involving men dressed as poodles. And what would a visit to SF be without a protest? Giving it that special SF flavor, Medea Benjamin and Code Pink marched outside the theater, in pink wigs and chanting, "UK out of Iraq." Maybe the Prince would have paid more attention if they'd dressed as poodles instead. Picture by Chris Stewart of the Chron. That hat is so rad....

Over here at SFist's fortress of solitude (above Jerry's Tattoo and Java), we've just been informed that "Big" Dick Cheney is currently ensconced at the Mandarin Oriental downtown, and an entire block of Sansome has been shut down in order to protect him (and make your commute extra-fun!). Apparently he's making a west coast swing to lobby members of congress, including Representative Bill Thomas, chair of the House Ways and Means Committee, to convince......