Former Senate Majority Leader (and current Boston Red Sox director) George Mitchell just announced the results of his 20-month, $20 million investigation into allegations of widespread steroid usage in baseball. The long-awaited, 409-page Mitchell Report (document here) identifies more than 80 current and former players as being linked to using performance-enhancing drugs. While the report casts blame on the lack of institutional control within baseball as much as the players themselves that cheated, what......

Choose your allusion-- the sword of Damocles finally striking, the chickens coming home to roost, karma being an ill-tempered bitch-- but Barry Lamar is now up against it for breaking the law, breaking the law. Personally, we were a bit stunned that it happened coming as it did years after the actual case, but we're cavemen-- we fell on some ice and was later thawed by some of your scientists. Your world frightens and confuses us! ...

-Let's get the Barry news (that being Barry B.) out of the way first. Essentially, George Mitchell, the guy supposed to look into the whole steroid thing, told everyone he wants Barry to cooperate. Barry told him to go suck an egg. Well, not really, but he basically said that he can't while he's still under investigation for perjury. You know, we think if there's any good thing to come out of being under investigation, it's that you don't have to answer anything. Did you accidentally delete "Grey's Anatomy" off of TiVo? Can't comment on that because it might interfere with the investigation. Did you steal my turkey on swiss from the office fridge? Can't comment on that due to the pending investigation. See what we mean? ...

Remember how we said Bud wouldn't investigate Barry because it would serve absolutely no purpose? We were wrong. Yesterday, news leaked out that Bud is all set to investigate Barry and steroids with former Senator George Mitchell leading the investigation. We don't think it's much of a stretch to say that this investigation is nothing but a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham. ...