Local drag artistes have joined forces to reimagine onstage what is arguably the greatest sitcom ever to air. We are, of course, talking about Friends. (Fine, it's a three-way tie between Seinfeld and Out of This World.) From October 24th to November 21st, you can catch 10 performances of Friends: Live. What to expect, you ask? Hilarity from Heklina and other talented queens and kings. What else? Well, I for one would like to see the following:

Ms. Chanandler Bong
Regina Falange
"Pivot!"
Any Thanksgiving episode
Monica and Chandler hooking up in London
"We were on a break!"
Pretty much anything having to do with Rachel Karen Green
Ross' leather pants
Janice
Joey in the VD ads
Fun Bobby
1 Yemen Road, Yemen

This is going to be rad. Wish I were in it. Can I at least be the ladybug, with a top hat? She's fancy.

The production is brought to you by Velvet Rage Productions (Sex and the City: Live, Roseanne: Live, Designing Women: Live). The show is fitting titled "The One Where Everybody's In Drag." It stars Leigh Crow (Joey), Heklina (Phoebe), Nancy French (Chandler), Steven LeMay (Monica), Gerri Lawlor (Ross) and D’Arcy Drollinger (Rachel).

Rebel: 1760 Market Street (at Octavia). Two shows nightly every Thursday, 7pm and 9pm. Seating is limited. Tickets -- $20 (online) or $25 (at the door) -- are available here.

First, there was analog bang with friends. You'd go to a party, or get drinks, or play on the same softball team together. Sure, it was a pain sometimes: how would you know if she or he liked you back? You'd have to actually talk to the person, observe physical and social cues, and when the time came, expose yourself to the possibility of rejection. Surely it was only a matter of tens of thousands of years before someone invented an app for that.

Now there's Bang with Friends, the Facebook app that lets you select the FB friends you want to "bang" (no word yet on the "make gentle love" app), and, if they select you too, you'll presumably be sent some sort of classy notification. Billed as being "completely private & discreet until both friends are down to bang!", the app erases all fear of overt rejection and replaces it with what we can presume is vague embarrassment, social discomfort, and fear that someone might take you up on your offer and you'll have to interact in meatspace.

As if that's not enough, there's now ... wait for it ... Bang with Professionals, which does basically the same thing with your Linkedin network that I'm hoping is a lot hotter than mine, which consists mostly of fusty college professors and batty marketing ladies.

What's next? Bang with Twits (They'll will never know you're interested unless they retweet that message you sent them that said "Let's bang")? Bang with Pics (Your Instagram followers will never know you're interested unless they "like" your latte pics)?

If these apps are aimed at simplifying a dating/sexing landscape or dignifying the mating process through the clean smooth lines of technological communication, I'm afraid they'll probably do the opposite. What does getting a bang shout-out over social media really mean, anyway? If banging it all you're after, wouldn't the traditional approach work better than messing with your friends and professional network?

Best case scenario: you connect with someone you're actually into, which spells all sorts of emotional weirdness from the get-go. And the worst case is ... nothing. No one wants to bang you. Do we really need an app for anonymous sexual rejection?

On Tuesday, a promising new social media thingamajig will go live in San Francisco, one that set you and several of your followers or friends up on a date. It's called Grouper and it works like this: Grouper is an invite-only social club pairing up two groups of three friends (3 guys and 3 girls, or 3 guys and 3 guys, etc.) from Facebook, and sets them up for drinks at a venue around the city. They use a criteria of age, sexual orientation, educational background, and careers to screen potential matches, and the pairing can take anywhere from 3 to 4 weeks to configure. Furthermore, you should totally do this! Summer is coming and you could use more friends. And maybe even a lover.

Founded by Yalie Michael Waxman in June 2011, Waxman came across the idea after moving to a new city where he had no friends. As far as the two groups of threes, Waxman explains, We’ve realized three is some sort of magical number...It facilitates a cool dynamic where you can either talk in pairs of two, talk as a group, or talk just with friends."

And here's all you need to do: Users sign up to join the club at joingrouper.com, which is free. Once you and your match confirm a date, you each grab two friends to come along for the outing. The cost for the date is $20 per person, but that's only so the first round of drinks is paid for. And then, after the first round of drinks have been swilled, it’s up to you whether or not to have a second round, exchange digits, or call it a night because you're just not interested.

Isn't it time you finally used some of your online contacts to get new friends? Yes. Yes, it is. Do it.

(By D. Hanousek)

After changing park benches three times over the weekend, I realized that I have a confession to make. I don't want to be your friend. Sure, we both have kids and we both live in the city. And, whaddya know, our kids like to play in playgrounds too. But, check it out: any communication beyond a nod or a friendly smile "hello" is not necessary. In fact, if I may be candid, it's simply unwelcome.

I already have friends. I don't need anymore. I'm old and tired. With kids. The jig is up. You have to have friends if you have children in the city. Otherwise, you'll go completely insane, feeling isolated and alone. You'll start joining playgroups and excessively posting on neighborhood parents' Yahoo groups offering three free size-2 diapers or an open (but unused) bottle of Pedialyte. Or, worse yet, you'll find yourself soliciting strangers in playgrounds for coffee dates or lengthy chit chats about public vs. private schools. Oh. That's you. Sorry.

Look. I'm just here because I want my kids to burn off some energy and nap. It's the weekend and I'm this close to getting three stars on a particularly difficult level of Angry Birds. Can't you just let me be? And if you're going to interrupt my hogicide activity with a fascinating insight, please don't tell me how you just noticed the "No Adults Allowed Unless Accompanied by Children" signs. Those signs have been there forever and your kid is 3. This guy may have had an excuse, but you, sir, are either clueless or just making a feeble attempt to make a new friend. Sorry to tell you, it's not going to be me.

PREVIOUSLY: Confessions Of A San Francisco Parent: 'I Don't Care About Spreading Germs'

Oh, this is just plain mean. A woman had her passenger and friend carjack her while driving in the Mission late last night near the intersection of Cesar Chavez and Shotwell streets. "The victim, an 18-year-old woman, is friends with the suspect and the pair were driving in the woman's car, a 2005 gold Chevrolet Malibu," reports SF Appeal. "When the woman pulled over during the argument, the suspect forced her out of the vehicle and into the street, then got into the driver's seat and drove away."

Anyone with information should call the SF Police Department's anonymous tip line at 415-575-4444.

Good news! Tito, Twinkle Toes and Sage have all found good hoomes. And the SPCA, we're told, saw a spike in visitors over the last two weeks due in part to "Adoptable Pets Of The Week." That, and because SFist readers are all kinds of awesome. Thanks, guys.

And now, here are your adoptable pets of the week, care of the SPCA.

Cat Benatar
7-year-old female

Cat Benatar is a rock star feline, with diva status. She'll run right over to you when you visit her, and ask for some ear scratches and pets. Although she does like affections, she is, after all, a diva, and can get a bit overwhelmed when things are a bit noisy. It's best to break out the toys when you see her roll to one side or swish her tail. If you let Miz B. call the shots and give her lots of play time, she should be a wonderful addition to your home. Because of her diva status, we're recommending adult only homes for her. Cat Benatar is FIV positive. Cats with FIV can live long healthy lives. She will need to remain indoors and because she doesn’t like other cats; perfect as the only kitty in your life

We interrupt your holiday frivolity, wild binge drinking, and high stress levels to bring you the following event:

Tomorrow night the annual Homeless Death Memorial March takes place. A Day of the Dead, if you will, for those of us who passed away this year without having a place to call home. You want more info? Here you go:

Please join us to commemorate homeless people—our friends, relatives, neighbors, acquaintances, and even some who none of us got the opportunity to know—this Thursday, December 20, at 5:30 p.m. at Civic Center Plaza. Bring a candle, if you can. If you know of any one who has passed away, please make sure that their name is included in the service by contacting San Francisco Network Ministries at 415.928.6209. [via Street Sheet]

So be sure to dress warm, grab a candle, and head down to Civic Center Plaza at 5:30 p.m. sharp on Thursday night (12/20). There, you will honor many, schmooze with a few strangers with whom you might not socialize under normal circumstances, and maybe hear a surprising story or two about someone you never really knew at all. Aw.

A sad week for LAist as they lose their trusted and amazing editor Tony Pierce to the LA Times, but what a blast his last week was. He shared his 25 Favorite CDs of 2007 and wrote a great review of just a good movie, No Country For Old Men. At UCLA, thousands of students celebrated the end of their quarter by running around campus in their undies (lots of photos in a two-part photo essay, one, two). That wasn't the only photo essay either: Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy friends and Star Trek actors all joined in at the Writers Strike and KROQ's Almost Acoustic Christmas brought two nights of amazing bands that included Avenged Sevenfold, Linkin Park (Part I), Modest Mouse, Muse, Spoon and The Killers (Part II). Not only is L.A. a great music town, it has just been named the best city for bookish types. For those who are looking for something a little more active, American Gladiators are back (yes!) and if that's not enough, how about a Christmas gift of action and adventure?

Phillyist is counting down to 2008 (and really enjoying it - yes, in that way!), leaving them exhausted, disoriented, and irritable.

As we passed by, the dog lunged out and clamped its jaws on our friend's leg. The bite broke no skin, but it scared the hell out of our friend. She told us what happened as we walked on (we hadn't seen the bite), and we were kind of stunned. Then the dog-wielding dude walked up and passed us, munching on a slice of pizza.

Our friend told him to "control your dog, or go back to Marin."

Arguments, the SFPD, and animal welfare after the jump!

Let's get this over with.

Last week's pathetic challenge still hung in the air this week with the designers discussing Carmen's exit, and Chris proposing a "Project Runway" fragrance that would be a mixture of tears, sweat, and Chinese food. Can't be any worse than the odors Paris Hilton has been hawking. After some stuff with the models that was a bit confusing and boring, Heidi told the designers Tim was waiting for them in the work room and he wasn't alone. He had a familiar face with him, and she had some old friends with her. Sweet P immediately suspected they'd be designing clothes for senior citizens, which had us pondering just how the clothing needs of the elderly might differ from those of, say, the middle aged. More Velcro? Elastic waist bands? Alas, we may never know, as it turned out Nina Garcia was the familiar face, and she told the designers they were going to incorporate outdated fashion trends into modern apparel.

What's your take on the comedy scene in the Bay Area?
I don't live in the Bay Area, but I when i see Bay Area people slip on banana peels, I laugh my head off.

Any advice to aspiring comedians?
Don't say, "Sorry," after your punch lines.

What makes a joke funny?
Incongruency. (I read that when I was in college and first interested in comedy. It's still the biggest word I know.)

Is there anything that is not funny?
Congruency.

Please tell us a San Francisco joke
A grasshopper, walks into a bar in San Francisco, wearing a San Francisco t-shirt. The bartender, a native of San Francisco, says to the grasshopper, "Hey, we have a drink named after you." The grasshopper, a huge fan of both the San Fransisco 49ers and the San Fransisco Giants, asks, "You have a drink named Steve?"

Well, this certainly rocks. Gina Pell, Internet-y type and founder of Splendora, just started a brand spanking new non-profit, Care Through Action. And their first event, happening next Wednesday, is a fundraiser for Darfur victims. The benefit will be held at Frisson (mmm!), and there will be an exhibition of photographs by noted photographer, Alissa Everett. And sure, a few of you might find the dinner a bit on the pricey side (at $200 -- not bad at all, really), but the cocktail reception that follows is a scant $25 (the price of a cab ride from the O.R. to downtown SF!) Plus, all proceeds (after costs) will go to Friends of the World Food Program, which will benefit suffering peeps in Darfur.

What's more, why not be bold and invite with you that special someone you've had your eye on? Because: Darfur do-goodery + fancy restaurant = having breakfast together come Thursday morning, if you know what we mean. And we think you do.

Event: Care Through Action's SF Darfur Fundraiser
When: Wednesday, December 5
Where: Frisson, 415-956-3004
Times: 6-9p, dinner; 9p, cocktail reception
Costs: $200, dinner; $25, cocktail reception


Image credit: Alissa Everett