Oh man. Like... wow. This is entertaining, exciting stuff. Let's back up a bit: It all started last Friday after a not-so-innocent yet fraudulent slate card endorsing Migden and boasting the SFBG logo (something SFist knows a little something about) showed up on doorknobs across the city. Of course, SFBG Editor Tim Redmond had to issue a WTF-we-didn't-do-this -shit post. Also, and get this, Chris Daly was behind said slate card. Redmond says: I......

Okay, we're not exactly sure how this works, but it's...bizarre. Seems that a trio of scammers are preying upon the elderly Chinese American community in SF (no, not Ed Jew). What's interesting is their technique. See, a woman and two men approach their victim, telling them that they look sick. One of the suspects then "fills a teacup with water and invites the victim to stick a finger in the cup, explaining that it......

Oh, Ed. Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed. This does not seem speedy like you promised. Then again, you promised a lot of things. Sigh. After yesterday's whopping indictment by a federal grand jury, "[s]uspended San Francisco Supervisor Ed Jew pleaded not guilty in U.S. District Court in the city today to expanded federal charges of mail fraud, bribery and extortion," according to the Examiner. Outside the Federal Building courthouse this morning, Jew's attorney said,......

Jew was indicted on charges mail fraud, bribery, and extortion (i.e., his plan to bribe Quickly owners with licensing problems.) Other bits of downfall glory include such antics as accepting $4,000 (in cash!) from the owners of Wonderful Desserts and Cafe, and...well, you know how the story goes....

Oh No, Chris Kavanaugh! Berkeley's own Ed Jew, a Green Party member of the Berkeley rent board who was actually living (and litigating with his landlord) in Oakland, pled not guilty to three charges of voter fraud, one charge of perjury, and one of grand theft (for taking a stipend from the Berkeley rent board) yesterday. Kavanaugh spent Friday night living in the Santa Rita jail before being released on $30,000 bond, and will report......

We're back from our inadvertent hiatus -- here's hoping it's a less busy week for us at the day job and an even more busy week for Ed Jew news! Fang qi means resign in Chinese, and that seems to be what everyone's calling for, with Gavin Newsom now, with "grim determination," trying to figure out how exactly to get Ed Jew out of office and pick someone else to fill the seat, now that......

"Enough is enough," Newsom said to reporters this morning. "He needs to do the right thing and step aside." Interesting words there, Gavin. Irony aside, the Mayor renewed his call for disgraced supervisor Ed Jew to step down today, making the statement mere steps from Jew's flower shop, according to today's Chronicle. This comes on the heels of the rookie supervisor refusing to remove himself from the position; pleading not guilty; having the nerve......

Not to be outdone by San Francisco's own zip code fibbing person of the people, Green Party follower and Berkeley Rent Stabilization Board member Chris Kavanagh, according to today's Matier and Ross, "was hauled out of an Oakland coffee shop [Cole's Coffee Shop] in handcuffs today" and thrown in the clink on fraud charges for lying about his Berkeley residence. It seems that he actually lived on 63rd Street in Oakland, where he was......

We just can't keep Ed down for a day. And we feel sorry for him at this point. Almost. In addition to the nine state felony charges filed against him by La Kamala, according to the Chronicle, today the Feds charged Ed Jew "with mail fraud in connection with a scheme to solicit a bribe from a group of businessmen who needed city permits" for Quickly fine-dining establishments in the city. (And just like......

Ed, you media whore. You get not one, but two posts today? Clever. Anyway, according to ABC7, prosecution just offered a plea bargain to Mr. Ed, one that would have him step down as your favorite fibbing San Francisco Supervisor -- as well as some other gentle slaps on the wrists, we're sure, but for now details of the entire plea bargain are private -- for lying about living in San Francisco, falsifying election......

Okay, there's a very troubling article in today's New York Times about a road trip with Laura Albert (reg. req'd.). Laura Albert is, of course, the 41-year-old mother and local literary scenester who made up the character of JT LeRoy, and then got her sister in law to dress up (in shades and a blond wig) as the gay, male, former teen hustler when his purported "memoir" hit the big time. Albert was later sued......

This might be the perfect time for City Hall's favorite cabaret star to hone up on his Kander and Ebb. (Some "Cell Block Tango," maybe?) SF supervisor and mysterious resident Ed Jew entered a not guilty plea today to four counts of perjury, two counts of filing a false document, two counts of falsifying election forms, and one count of voter fraud in a pear tree. Whew. In an attempt to get this whole......

There's big legal news concerning the Barry, none of which involves Curt Schilling or Grand Juries. Oh no. Barry has just been slapped with a lawsuit by an inmate in a South Carolina prison, Jonathan Lee Riches (aka "the White Suge Knight), for fraud. No, not for breaking the record while on the juice, but for perpetuating a "Fraud Against Mankind," which Lee Riches calls "Batman and Identity Robbin." The Smoking Gun has the details, but from a quick perusal here are some of the claims made: ...

In a case closely watched by Silicon Valley corporate types, a federal jury in San Francisco returned a guilty verdict against Brocade Communications CEO Gregory Reyes for knowingly backdating stock options, so they would count as having been issued at a time when the stock price was lower. While backdating is not in and of itself against the law, the SEC says that backdating and not telling your investors about it constitutes criminal fraud. Reyes......

The Chronicle reports that Yusuf Bey's son-in-law, Saleem Bey, 43, who worked at Your Black Muslim Bakery for ten years, was the main source for journalist Chauncey Bailey's unpublished stories about the bakery. It seems that he told Bailey about "illegal bankruptcy and plans to liquidate the bakery," as well as Yusuf Bey IV's numerous arrests and overall lunacy. "I am saddened that his death is attached to me," Saleem Bey said. "I gave......

SFist Nick forwarded along an unintentionally-hilarious article by professional provocateur Christopher Hitchens from earlier this week in Slate. In this article, Hitchens mostly complains about Conrad Black, the Canadian press tycoon recently convicted of corporate fraud, but check out this kicker at the end! Postscript: I am writing this from the San Francisco Bay Area, where all summer a local politician named Ed Jew has been in trouble over his filing of an allegedly bogus......

Here's todays sports news...

A fight on the Cal campus last Saturday left a senior with a fractured skull and brain damage and a member of the rugby team looking for an attorney. The resident went outside when he heard someone breaking a window of his co-op (at Prospect and Channing), and got in a confrontation with a guy wearing a Cal rugby shirt. The rugby team had won the national championship that night. The victim claims the rugby......

We have our own little bit of PurgeGate on our end of the country. Maybe not the most exciting part of the story, as it doesn't involve voter fraud or missing e-mails, but still a piece of the puzzle. ...

We here in the Ist-A-Verse know that we're sensational, but it's very rare that we get a chance to be sensationalistic. This week, we've decided to have ourselves a little fun and try our hand at tacky tabloid headlines, using nothing more than our favorite posts from this week. Torontoist Special Report: Rosie to Trump: "Fire 300 Bicyclists for Fraud!" On DCist: Students Go Wild for Slogans, Secrets and Sexual Harassment The action was thick......

It's time for SFist Answers! Now that you've asked Questions, we give you Answers. This week we cover hard drugs, bodily functions, and most agonizing of all -- MUNI. Keep those questions flowin' to sfistanswers@gmail.com. Include your question, your name, and your city/neighborhood – just like when you were filling out your craigslist Missed Connections post....

What a stinking dog of a putrid rotting corpse of a disgusting disgrace of an abomination of a disgrace of a debacle of a sham of a fraud of a spectacle of a sham of an embarrassment. Or something like that. How else to describe the Warriors recent sleepwalk through Texas.

On Monday night, the San Antonio Spurs spanked the tribe like a teenager's monkey, 129-89; just 24 hours later, the Houston Rockets piled on and beat the living tar out of them, 118-90 -- neither game was as close as the scores would indicate.

They've moved away from San Francisco to a small town in Connecticut, but we're still claiming Mates of State as our own. The birth of the couple's baby girl Magnolia hasn't slowed their relentless tour schedule: on Tuesday they play their first of two nights at Great American (The Court & Spark open Tuesday and Asobi Seksu on Wednesday). We've got a copy of their latest record Bring It Back, out now on Barsuk......

--Hating on Police Chief Heather Fong. --Pictures from Fog City Journal of the Board of Supes meeting on Tuesday. Weird to see Chris Daly without a green tie on! --Former USF dean pleading guilty to possession of kiddie porn. --Hey, wanna buy (or at least sponsor) a bridge? --Up to 20 people possibly bitten by a sea lion in San Francisco bay. --They're going to install cameras at high-risk corners in SF -- but......

We haven't voted yet as we were hoping to do a bit more studying before going in there. This whole IRV thing just means more work as now you have figure out who you want besides the guy you want. No more coin flips. ...

Pete Wilson (the anchor, not the ex-Governor) says "sorry about that" over his comments in regards to gay people having babies. -Oakland sues landlord for being very, very bad. ...

Wednesday will deposit $20 million into your Nigerian bank account if you'll write SFist a $20,000 check. [before the FBI comes after us for committing fraud, we're kidding, we're kidding!] Tonight: Parlez-vous meetup? San Franciscan French speakers are meeting up at 8 p.m. at Catalyst Cocktails (312 Harriet, at Bryant and 6th) to practiquent the language, and boivent some drinks. (did we conjugate those right?) Thursday: Now that the Basque ETA has declared a cease fire, Artists' Television Access is screening "Silent Voices," a documentary about people victimized by the movement. $5, 8 p.m., 992 Valencia. and Friday: The Temple of Poi puts on a fire-dancing performance at 7:30 tonight at Union Square, totally free. Poi is a dance form where you move weighted things around your body on a cord -- fire, lights, glasses of water, you name it. If you fear fire and/or Union Square, go instead to the Precita Eyes benefit fundraiser at their studios on 24th and Harrison, where finalists in the Mural Appreciation Month competition will display their work, and you can watch a live mural performance too. 2981 24th St, 7-10 p.m....

The three forms of water, in your daily news! Solid: Authorities continue to be baffled about a huge piece of ice that fell from the sky over Oakland, landing in Bushrod Park by Shattuck. No one was hurt, and authorities have confirmed that it's not the dreaded "blue ice" that falls from the septic tanks of airplane lavatories. Apparently ice does just randomly fall from the sky every now and then. (Thanks to SFist Tiffany for passing this along!) Liquid: That's not the kind of splashdown they like to see at McCovey Cove! The authorities dredged out a body from the little inlet behind AT&T Park yesterday afternoon. They think it's the body of a man who was fleeing the cops after being reported robbing offices at the UCSF Mission Bay campus. If you have any information, call UCSF officer Ed Huang at (415) 476-1414. Gas: The third entry is always the hardest. Um.... K-FOG (get it?) rival station 106.9 Free FM just fired talk radio DJ John London after he issued a death threat on Penn Jillette. London says he was upset that Jillette called Mother Teresa slutty (we're paraphrasing) and a fraud, but that his $7000 fatwa was made sarcastically. Only $7000 to kill Penn Jillette? ...

What is it with Bay Area kickers? Last year, a former Raider kicker shot out the windows at Siegfried and Roy's house, and now, ex-Niners kicker Ray Wersching has been indicted for federal insurance fraud. Wersching is alleged to have embezzled $8 million in premiums from 1997-2000. He claims that his business partner stole the money, not him. A nanny in Redwood City has pled not guilty to shaking the 2-year-old she was hired to watch. The baby was rushed to the hospital with multiple skull fractures and symptoms of shaken-baby syndrome. The nanny first claimed that the baby had rolled off a couch, but later confessed when they figured out that none of the injuries were consistent with the story. The baby's prognosis is uncertain at this time, but doctors are saying he might be blind and have problems developing motor skills. And the City of Berkeley is banning EXIT signs. Isn't that a Sartre play? The gas they use to light up the signs have low levels of radiation -- and you know how Berkeley's a nuclear-free zone. ...

Gavin Newsom + Sofia Milos! We can't get enough! So, like the New Yorker cartoon caption contest, this is where you get involved. We've scientifically picked the six finalists in the Name That Couple contest -- vote for your favorite! To encourage election fraud, we've also turned off the "prevent multiple votes" functions, so vote as many times as you like! What Should We Call Gavin + Sofia? CSI: Plumpjack GaFia the GavLos NewSof SoGav......